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200...Prepare for Glory
A few weeks ago, when I was watching the film '300', I got this weird and somewhat funny idea that's been festering in my head till now. What if the second LOTR prequel was about a fictionalized depiction of the Disaster of the Gladden Fields? R-rated, gory and done in a similar vein as 300. I even had the whole trailer planned out. If any of you have watched the 300 trailer(if not watch at youtube) you'll find this...interesting.
<Scenes of Numenorean cities> Voiceover: We Numenoreans are the descendants of Elros himself...the Greatest mortals the world has ever seen. <Numenorean soldier breaking arrows embedded in shield> Black Orc Herald: Be warned. Arnor will burn to the ground. <Isildur pulls out his sword> Black Orc Herald: This is blasphemy. This is madness. Isildur: THIS IS ARNOR!(technically, it's the Gladden Fields) <scenes of orc armies, orc archers shooting> Another Orc Herald: When the thousand Orc-clans of the Misty Mountains descend upon you, our arrows shall blot out Anor! Erendur(Isildur's eldest son): Then we'll fight in the shade. <Shots of orc army, masked Great Orcs, Cave Trolls, Gunpowder Bomb Throwers etc.> Isildur: NUMENOREANS! TONIGHT WE DINE IN MANDOS!! <Scenes of Isildur's wife in Rivendell trying to rally Elves reinforcements, tricked by some contemptous Elf who hates Men.> TEXT: They were 200 against 10,000(actually only 2000 Orcs, but let's increase the odds a little). Isildur: Give them nothing, but Take from them everything! Yeah, I know it'd be a travesty, but boy, would it be fun!!! Any opinions? |
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What about the Fall of Gondolin, or when Tuor and that other Glorfindel defend their merry troop against the Balrog and company up in the Encircling Mountains? Seems that those stories might be an easier - more natural - fit.
Let me know where I can buy tickets. ;) |
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Yeah, travesties usually are horrible. It's a good thing this discussion forum isn't devoted to 300 or we'd have legions of fans screaming for zxcvbn's ink. Actually I think my idea about Gollem's backstory, In the Hood of The Shire, has more potential for travesty but I can't be bothered writing the trailer, so kudos to zxcvbn for starting his. |
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