Melkor's Master? (Joke Article)
 

Could Melkor have had a master? A Lord of Terror that could have been a match to Eru Illuvatar himself? After all, Melkor seems too weak to be the Lord of Darkness.
There would have to have been someone else. Melkor was locked away, and Sauron was not powerful enough to rule all of shadow.

What does everyone else think?

The scene is an unutterably black jailcell somewhere in The Void. Morgoth sits quietly on his cot, hanging his head in silence. A sound of jackbooted footsteps echos thru the Void as someone approaches his cell. The figure stops and looks in contempt at the mighty spirit chafing in his confinement. He clears his throat. Morgoth looks up.

"Oh," murmured Morgoth, "it's you, Mandos."

Mandos stared at Morgoth for a moment, then shook his head. "Mail call," he said, tossing an envelope on the floor of the cell before walking away again.

The vanquished Vala seized the envelope and tore it open with the eagerness of a starving man at a Vegas buffet.

Morgoth let the letter fall to the ground. He smiled, then chuckled, then laughed a maniacal sound that rang disturbingly through the Void...

Good one(not a sarcastic reply)
heres mine.


Melkor sat silently within the Void. it had been five hundred years since the letter came, telling him of his coming rescue. suddenly, the door behind him opened.
into the Void stepped Manwe.
"Okay Melkor, you're free to go. " he stopped and sniffed the air around him. he quickly covered his nose. "Aaaaaa! what's that stench?! " he screamed.
"Well you didn't give me a toilet or a shower in here. " said Melkor.
Manwe ran back outside. his legs seemed to be ready to collapse. behind the door Melkor heard, "You can stay back there for the rest of eternity for all i care! That was horrid! "
Melkor lifted his armpit and gave a quick sniff. then he toppled over and didn't get up again for two more years. :D

There was a great power that was in control over all over Melkor's doings. Indeed, it dictated every word he said and movement he made.

It was...


His ego. ;)

The reason for Melkor's Fall
 

Over the past years, Melkor had it all. He had power, money, and good servants. but now, Melkor's reign was coming to an end.

Sauron: Master.
Melkor: Yes, what do you want.
Sauron: Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllll. Gothmog is dead. The orcs just turned irreversably stupid for no reason. and the trolls aren't using the outhouse you built for them.
Melkor: What!? then where are the trolls doing their buisness.
Sauron: Look around you.
Melkor: Eeeeeeeew! its on the ceiling!
Sauron: O and i'm gonna go and hide for a few centuries in that place in the East. Good luck ruling Angband, sir.
Melkor: How could things get any worse.
Melkor's master's voice: Melkor, I want my lawn mower back!
Melkor: I had to ask.

Oh no. The terrible truth about Tom Bombadil's identity has finally been revealed.

Once upon a time, at a moment before the beginning of the history of Arda...
 

This is a part of a story long forgotten, and it is the only tale from which we can get at least a glimpse of an answer to the question that was raised here...

Sauron: You wanted to see me, sir?
Melkor: Oh, yes, sit down. (to Balrogs) Leave us.
(The Balrogs leave. There is a moment of silence.)
Melkor: Aulendil, you know I'm not able to rely on the other Valar. If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will.
Sauron: I'm not sure I understand.
Melkor: You must sense what I have come to suspect . . . the Aratar want control Arda . . . they're planning to betray me.
Sauron: I don't think . . .
Melkor: Aulendil, search your feelings. You know, don't you?
Sauron: I know they don't trust you . . .
Melkor: Or the Ainulindalë. . .
Sauron: I have to admit my trust in them has been shaken.
Melkor: Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they?
(Sauron doesn't answer.)
Melkor: ...they asked you to spy on me, didn't they?
Sauron: I don't know ... I don't know what to say.
Melkor: Remember back to your early teachings, Aulendil. "All those who gain power are afraid to lose it." Even the Valar.
Sauron: Valar use their power for good.
Melkor: Good is a point of view, Aulendil. All Ainur are similar in many ways, including their quest for greater power. The difference is that I am not afraid of the powers of the Darkness. That is why I am more powerful. Did you ever hear about the tragedy of Lidabmob Mot "the Dark One"?
Sauron: No.
Melkor: I thought not. It's not a story a Vala would tell you. Lidabmob Mot was a being so powerful and so wise he could use his power to create his own Flame Imperishable...
Sauron: So he could actually...?
Melkor: The power of Darkness is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
Sauron: What happened to him?
Melkor: He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. (smiles)
Sauron: Is it possible to learn this power?
Melkor: Not from a Vala.

Hmm... Interesting topic. I'd say certain J.R.R. Tolkien is the master of Melkor. Just a theory and I have little to back this thought, but that's what I think...

Well, according to another topic in M-E Mirth ... Melkor called ::lcoughegcoughocoughlascough:: 'Master'.

Oh, and Legate of Amon Lanc: LOL Best possible use for SW in my opinion.