Tasting Middle Earth
 

When reading LOTR, there are times that I get so into the story that I start empathizing with the characters on a physical level. For example, when Frodo and Sam are swollen tongued-parched from crossing the Gorgoroth, I might go and get a glass of water as I'm suddenly feeling a bit thirsty.

An aside - in Ithilien I'm yelling "Drink more! You're gonna need it..."

Anyway, when I read parts of the books where the characters are eating and drinking, I start wondering what they're experiencing and what I have on hand that is a modern-day equivalent (it *is* history, isn't it?) and that can be used to enhance the experience.

In no specific order, here are items that I have as MDEs for Middle Earth:

• lembas - Hostess fruit pies (think of a pie filled with fruit jelly, folded in half and covered with sugar glaze). Many were the days that these things (accompanied with liters of Mountain Dew) kept me on my feet after nights of little rest

• Ent draught - cold sassafras root tea or Guinness

• white cakes - Little Debbie brand 'Fancy Cakes (note that the covering has a strange resemblence to plastic both in texture and taste)

• beer/ale - Coor's light (I'm not a beer drinker, so it all tastes the same to me)

• conies - though have had the chance to eat rabbit, have declined. I substitute that 'anonymous/ubiquitous meat' chicken.

• stew - homemade stew that is so thick can be eaten with a fork.

• various herbs (crushed underfoot as one walks through Ithilien) - ever go to the herb cabinet in the kitchen and give the herbs named in the text a whiff?

• brackish Mordor water - tap water! (we filter all water that we drink)

• miruvor - brandy

• orc health draught given to Merry/Pippin - Jack Daniel's whiskey

• orc bread - bad biscotti

• Beorn cakes - Greek honey pastries of unknown name but are to die for

• Faramir's provisionings - trail mix and beef jerky

Other items, like wine, mushrooms, taters, honey, etc, are the same irregardless. The dinner at Farmer Maggots' would be either like Bob Evans' (a local eatery chain specializing in country breakfast food) or a trip to the in-laws for dinner. Eating 'Elvish' would be like going to a place where the salad bar had everything, and you washed it all down with iced tea sweetened with fruit juice. Eating 'Hobbit' would be like that of the elves, except that the salad part would be minimized and there would be a dessert bar with cakes, cookies, pies and self-serve soft ice cream. Though I do eat fish, I don't eat it Gollum-style.

I'll stop now to read what you think as I suddenly feel the urge to go and eat...

Mmmmmmm, yummy ideas! For more, try looking at An Arda Recipe Book...

For me

lembas = twinkies (they NEVER spoil)

brackish Mordor water = tap water (I live in Pittsburgh, we pull our water straight from the Three Rivers. I've heard stories of mutant carp in the rivers large enough to swallow people. And an entire WW2 bomber disappeared in one of the rivers.)

orc health draught = Red Bull and Vodka (the drink of strungout college students everywhere!)

Well, I don't compare different foods, old and new. I do, however, always, ALWAYS feel the urge to get some bread and cheese and meat or whatever when I'm reading the Shire chapters.

Does anyone have to drink beer when reading about The Green Dragon or The Prancing Pony?

That's kind of what I was saying in the first paragraph, and so I may search out some of the things listed dependent on text. Thirst always gets me going to the kitchen. Always wonder about the pipeweed thing, but the closest I come is sniffing the cigar store in the mall.

When I think of Miruvor I always think of the tap water here as it's beautiful, pure and cold! I certainly don't think of brackish Mordor water; that always conjours up an image of when you see puddles in cow fields, full of, well, what cows leave lying about! And flies.

Lembas is always something like butter shortbread, or maybe Kendal Mint Cake. The orc draught makes me think of Benylin cough mixture (and I wonder if it also bestows mad dreams on the Hobbits).

But pipeweed.... As soon as I read about it I feel like I need a smoke. :smokin: If I am watching a film with lots of smoking in it (surprisingly rare these days, to see smoking in films...) then I end up with a cough by the end of it as I automatically reach for those tobacco products. :rolleyes:

I'm reminded of the fans of 'Withnail And I' who attempt to consume the staggering quantities of alcohol and less legal substances mentioned in the film at parties (just a tip, don't try the lighter fluid!).

Maybe it would be interesting to compile a Hobbit or LoTR 'menu', and would definitely result in far less liver damage.

While on the subject, I must object strenuously to Coor's being described as ale! Real Ale actually tastes of something, not just bubbles and cold water. Naturally your local one is always the best! ;)

You have to live in an old steel town to really appreciate brackish water. Sometimes the local rivers overrun the water processing plants (great planning there) and so to counter the effects of possible sewage spillover, they load the water up with chlorine, which actually causes it to smell. Supposedly it's all safe, but I'm a bit of a skeptic.

Best water that I ever drank from the tap was from Cancun, Mexico - in the resort area, of course.


Have no taste for the stuff, and more than a small bottle starts a headache (think that it's the hops, malt or something), and so I defer to your beer/ale knowledge. Went to a place where they laid out small samples of beer and ale, but I couldn't tell you the name of the one that I preferred.

I do live in an old steel town, one of the most famous steel towns in the world, but most of the plants are now shut down, so the rivers here (allegedly) have fish in them nowadays. The drinking water comes from up in the hills luckily and is one of the only public supplies in Britain with absolutely no (known) additives.

Something else reminds me of 'brackish Mordor water' though, the slimy water you get in the bottom of drip trays in office water coolers.

Beer or ale of course sums up the idea of beer and ale, the good stuff, like Black Sheep or Theakston's Old Peculier, the kind of beers that remain in the pint pot when you turn it upside down. ;)

Our steel mills, like those in presumably our sister city (I think that I know where you are referring to), also are mostly gone. This, however, has only improved the water quality somewhat as it still has to go through the city system, which is decaying due to lack of a tax base and sensible policies. Where once was a thriving city could now be home to cattle (assuming that they didn't eat the grass or litter) as many building have been razed to the ground.

Know that somewhere upstream that there was illegal dumping of heavy metals - right near the river. Surely these chemicals haven't gotten loose and into the water table...


Yuck! :eek:

I think we should give the fans of Withnail and I a run for their money! WE do have three films and lots of food as well as drink. Besieds I don't remember there being that much alcohol in the films..... Maybe thats a sign that there was too much ;)