Defective Weapons Inc.
 

Well, I think don't think there's a thread like this, so I'll start one. This thread is dedicated to wondering what would happen to people if their weapons didn't work. Enjoy :D


Get the idea. Cool! Have fun :D

lol, perky! Great thread!

Nice ones Saraphim! Here's another:

heehee... this is good....
 

lookin' good so far! let's see if i can manage to add something....

Wow. This is a really cool thread. How about...

What if...

I can see some lawsuits agains the ACME weapons company coming...
 

Heh heh! This thread is awesome!
Yeah. I'll shut up now, OK?
~Maeg

:D

Yes, if we already have one, please don't copy it, unless of course, it's funnier. But if you are going to do the same thing, try not to stick to the same format. Otherwise, these are looking great!

At the Balck Gate

Troll is fighting with Aragorn and he tries to put his massive foot on Aragorn's stomach. Instead he squishes an orc, he tries again but squishes another orc. Five minutes later the trol finally realizes he is killing his own army and Aragorn has already dissapeared in the fray.

These are looking really good.

Eek sorry for repeating earlier I kind of missed the previous one... :D to make up for it-
'kay, not much dialogue but i find the mental image amusing... :smokin:

__________________________
Frodo vs. Shelob
--------------------

As Frodo turns around, Shelob slams her stinger into his stomach.

Nothing happens. She tries again, with the same result.

Shelob: "Oh...this is anti-climactical"

Shelob hurries back to her lair to wonder just what in the world went wrong
__________________________

This thread is really looking good. I'm glad I made it :)

Frodo: Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!

*nothing*

Frodo: Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!

*nothing*

Frodo (with an air of panic in his voice): Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!

Sam (running in at the last moment): Frodo no! That's a lightbulb!

I'm assuming Lurtz is the orc in the movie, yes? Well, nevermind. Time for the special Kranshanian Brand of Sil[maril]ly stuff, strait from the pages. Feel the stingy wroth of the Pre-Third Age Defective Weapons, twice as defective as before!

Of Epic Battles and Equally Epic Pitfalls

Of Elven Craftmanship and Gundabad

Of Watts and Checkout Counters

Of Problematic Blades and a Dark Maiar

Of Wolves' Teeth and Handy-dandy Elven Stuffp

True, but they can be the same topic if they have a different flair. The first two were exactly the same: frodo says light, no light, frodo says light, no light, shelob is happy. However, the third one goes: frodo says light, no light, frodo says light, no light, sam comes, it's a lightbulb There's a difference

yes, Kransha, Lurtz is the head of the Uruk-Hai. in the movies at least. so to have a legitimate reason for posting....

Actually, the pink orc (who I think you're talking about) isn't Lurtz. Lurtz is dead. I'm talking about the pink orc in RotK, who commands the orc army at Pelenor. Ring any bells? Remember the scene where the trebuchets hurl a piece of the city at him, he dodges it, then spits on it? Anyways,


Morale (think I spelled it right): If in doubt, always follow your nose ;)

Great post Perky!
 

That doesn't have to do with a weapon, but a mishap nonetheless. :D

or

Oh wait...that actually did happen ;)

In contrast to what everyone else says, I promote copyright infringment!:D

*avoids random, airborne objects propelled at her*

Two more disasters that weren't
 

'You can take yourself off, you horny old varmint.' said Giles, also hoping to escape battle. 'I only want to be shot of you. Go right away from here, and get back to your own dirty den!' He stepped towards Chrysophylax, waving his arms as if he was scaring crows.
That was quite enough for Tailbiter. It circled, flashing in the air and then returned to its sheath, where it remained stuck fast. Giles gave one mighty heave and was left holding the broken hilt, while Chrysophylax eyed him balefully.

The dragon ate the horse first, because it didn't need peeling.

******

Húrin: Aurë entulúva!
The head of his axe snaps off and falls on his foot, severing some of his toes. He falls over.
Gothmog: All right, lads: you can take your tea break now.

No offense to Hybrid cars. They seem really cool!

This next really isn't a weapon, but it's sharp enough to be used as one ;) No offense to Monty Python, as they are cool people. No offense to Pippin either.

good ones, Perky! how 'bout....
just thought another spoof off of Monty Python would be appreciated by Monty Python fans...

cheers!

Elrond's (other) daughter

Good ole Monty Python! Good times good times. BTW, the defective weapon was the phial.

Again, not really a weapon spoof, but still a Monty Python rip off...


Aragorn: Let the lord of the black land come forth!

*silence*

Aragorn: Let the lord of the black land come forth!!

*silence*

Morannon orc: Aaaand whaaaay should weee you stuuuuuupid gondorian pigdog with your little kannnniguts.

Aragorn: I'm the king of Gondor! Come forth and face me!

Morannon orc: Non, I faaaaart in your general direction, silly king type.

Aragorn: You will learn respect!

Morannon orc: Aaaaand whaaaat are you going to do, silly king?

Aragorn: I'll call down the wrath of my fathers upon you.

Morannon oec: Your mother is a hamster, and your father smelt of eeeeelderberries!

Aragorn: Right that's i-

Galadriel: GET ON WITH IT!

Host of the West: GET ON WITH IT!

Aragorn: Yes, yes, alright. Come down and fight me you silly or-

Sauron: GET OOOOON WITH IT!!

Aragorn: Fine!! Get down an-

Valar: GET ON WITH IT!!!!

Nice. Here's another Python:

Wonderful thread!

Welcome to the Downs Audreidi! Awesome post!

HA!! good ones! here's one that wasn't in the movies for a change... (maybe it'll be in the EE...)

How come I never found this thread before????? Sigh.... can't win 'im all... I guess...

Okay, not very funny, but I wanted to watch this thread... sigh... the lack of inspiration... not very funny. Sigh.... Can't I just pull out some GARLIC? No, don't answer that, Audriedi. I know what YOU'D say... odd to find you here...

Perky, I loved the post, by the way. Very funny.

-Eowyn Skywalker

Why didn't I think of this before?

I love Fingolfin, but there's just so much room for parody in that scene.:smokin:

Priceless...that had me laughing for ages...

A defective weapon, but defective because its TOO SHARP!

Eowyn: Take the reigns! Left! Left! Right! Through its legs! YAAAH!

*slices at mumak's lefg, sword cuts clean through it*

Merry: Crap...

*mumak collapses on Merry and Eowyn*

Remember the books?
 

So many of these are based on the movie that I am considering moving it to THE MOVIES. Seriously, remember the books? Let's try using them for our reference.

Sorry. We'll stick to the book, unless everyone desides that in should be about the movies, in which case, maybe it should be moved.

No, this is definitely a MIRTH topic (though the mirth is often difficult to find in it), so we'd do best to keep to the books. They are superior, after all :)

One Book and one Movie.

"Gandalf in the meantime was still standing outside the door, and laughing long but quietly. After a while he stepped up, and with the spike on his staff sawed the hobbit's beatuiful green front-door in two. Bilbo ran out to check on the noise and promptly fainted. "Er... sorry..." said the wizard."

The four hobbits are running away from the Ringwraith, vault the fence, down the slope, onto the raft, which sinks beneath their weight. The Wraith saunters up as the hobbits try to escape the muddy-bottomed Brandywine.


Lindril ("Now what have we here?") Arvilya

Bilbo: "I will give you a name, and I shall call you Sting."

Sting: "Actually, my name's Tarquin and I'm a pacifist."

Jandalf: ...PUT AWAY THE GARLIC, PADAWAN!!! I had no idea that would continue over here...

Auddie: Erk...sorry about that, folks.