BEWARE...the NAZGIRLS!
 

this is just about the greatest story concerning the LOTR actors i think ive stumbeld on in quite a while. im not sure if it should be in the movies catagory or in here...but its funny, so i hope this is the right place.

THANKS SO MUCH TO THE STUPIDRING.COM (net) for this great story ....


The Definition
Nazgirls: Terrifying creatures with high-pitched screams who are strangely attracted to young androgynous males. Once they spot their prey, they will never stop hunting him. (However the appearance of a boy-band member may distract their attention for a moment.) No one knows what happens to their prey once caught, but it's sure to be a fate worse than death.
The Story
"Stay off the road!" Ian McKellan had warned him. But Elijah was caught unawares. He looks up, and feels a grim foreboding. "I think we should get off the road," he tells Sean Astin, who pays no attention to him. "Get off the road!" cries Elijah, and they huddle beneath a tree. Then he hears them: their terrifying screams fill the air. "The Nazgirls! The teenage love-crazed Nazgirls!" Elijah faints; Sean tries to protect him, but to no avail. The Nazgirls are upon them. Elijah is carried off into the night. Sean Astin stands alone, calling out desperately, "So what am I, chopped liver?"
Well see at the time Merry and Pippin were off drinking a pint, but later on the Nazgirls caught up with them..................................
AAAAHH!!!" Their hearts pumping Dominic and Billy rush for the ferry! Just as they are about to hop on, the Nazgirls catch up and tumble them to the ground. Evil screeching pours from their mouths and Dominic and Billy are left, helpless and in pain...
Just as all hope was lost...... Orlando to the rescue! He scoops up poor Dominic and Billy and takes them to the Prancing Pony. Orlando thought it was safe but then the Nazgirls came pounding down the roads of Bree!!!!!
The young men bar themselves in The Prancing Pony, as the Nazgirls shriek "Billy, give us some of that lovely Welsh accent!" Orlando barely ducks in time to avoid a barrage of love letters and blown kisses. "Quick!" he says, "Get Liv Tyler to bar the door. Hopefully that will keep them off!"
But the Nazgirls break down the door and Liv, Billy, Dominic and Orlando are forced to run out through the exit. They run towards the river.
Arwen calls the power of the river to wash them away, but the Nazgirls use their tons of fan mail to dam the flood. Just when Arwen is about to be stampeded, Gollum pops out of nowhere and yells at Elijah (who managed to escape while the Nazgirls were drooling over Orlando) "Forget the ring! I'm taking the girl!" then he grabs Arwen and runs off. The hobbits and Orlando are left defenseless...
Just then, Viggo swoops in with Sean Astin and Gimli. The Nazgirls are momentarily distracted by Viggo's manly, dimpled chin. Dominic takes advantage of the situation and gives one of them a paper-cut with a piece of fan mail. Billy's Scottish accent rises above the fray: "The Eagles arrre coming! The Eagles arrre coming!"
Everyone looks around to see what the heck he's talking about...
Hearing that The Eagles are a rock band, the Nazgirls are momentarily distracted. However, when they learn that the average band member's age is over 50, they rapidly lose interest. However, this has given Viggo enough of a head start to lead Elijah, Sean, Dominic, Bill, Gimli and Orlando to Weathertop.
Viggo gives them all a set of restraining orders against the Nazgirls. Shortly thereafter, Elijah and the others hear the Nazgirls' ecstatic screams. Rapidly, Sean, Dominic, and Billy are carried off by the adoring crowd. Gimli is left behind. Orlando has hidden himself behind a statue of himself. Oddly enough, the hobbits don't seem that upset. A large horde approaches Elijah. He drops his restraining order and falls backwards. He thinks of the Ring, "Hey maybe if I put it on, they'll think I'm married and leave me alone." Just then, the Captain leans forward and plants her lips on Elijah's shoulder. He cries out in pain.
Viggo arrives at the last minute, and drives the Nazgirls away by spraying them with French perfume. While they pause to admire their new scent, he inspects Elijah's wound.
"This wound is beyond my ability to heal. He needs Liv Tyler's medicine. This my friends, is a hickey of Mordor."
As he is carried towards Rivendell, Elijah's wound steadily grows worse; the purple hickey is spreading over his body. Suddenly the Nazgirls are upon them. Orlando shields Elijah from their wrath but then realizes that the Nazgirls have stopped chasing Elijah, and our now about to envelope him. Bloom quickly runs to the river and washes the blonde dye out of his hair hoping that the Nazgirls wont find him as attractive without it, but it fails.
But all is not lost. Liv Tyler is on the banks of the ford, having escaped from Gollum and utters a few words in Elvish. The river overflows its banks, and drenches the Nazgirls in a cold shower. Utterly bedraggled, the Nazgirls go home to blow-dry their hair and apply fresh makeup. Liv presses the dying, hickey-covered Elijah to her breast, and wonders, "What on Middle-Earth do they see in this androgynous little boy anyway--I mean, heck, put a dress on him and he'd look prettier than I am!"
But then, freshly made up and dressed in sexy little dresses, the Nazgirls are back!
CUT!!!! BRILLIANT!!!! IT WAS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!! IT'S ALL WE NEED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE!!!!
Only to realize................................. this was no movie!
Liv turns and runs, desperately trying to find someone to keep these girls away... Ah-hah! She suddenly comes upon Christopher Lee; still bouncing that ball he calls a palantir. She calls out, "HEY, look Chris, pretty girls"
"YAY!!!" he cries.
Christopher runs towards the Nazgirls and they run away shrieking with Lee in tow...
Billy, Sean and Dominic were abandoned by the Nazgirls after a long session of hero-worship when the Nazgirls were sprayed with water. Suddenly Billy jumps up and yells,
"Get to the Rivendell fellllllly!! Across the felllllly!! "
Rolling his l's, no one understands what he means... (he hit his head a few to many times you see) Billy jumps onto the ferry but misses, and tumbles into the water. He is swept away by the current.
All of a sudden, Gollum pops out of nowhere again and shrieks, "what happened to MY fan club?! What about meeeeeeeeeee... " as he does a little dance and falls into the river. But then, the evil Saura, who sent the Nazgirls after Elijah and Orlando, appears. With a yell, she tries to capture them, but then Elijah (after a miracle recovery from the hickey of Mordor) flings one of his autographed photos into the river and Saura goes chasing after it. She tumbles in after Gollum. Filled with relief, the troupe sits down to take a well-earned rest. But their struggle is not over... Saura has not yet been destroyed... and the Nazgirls live on……. And wait…. WHERE IS BILLY?????
Upon reaching the photo, Saura discovers that the water ruined the picture. She picks up her mace/curling iron and rushes towards the hobbits. Just then Viggo appears and throws his paintings at her and starts reciting poetry. While Saura is momentarily stunned, Gandalf appears out of nowhere and throws one of his movie awards at her. The award hits her hand and chips a nail. Shrieking inanely, Saura rushes back to her dark fortress
to recover, crying all the way.
"Guys, don't let me ever become like that," Arwen mutters... suddenly, there is a rustling in the bushes; out pokes the head of a stranded Nazgirl. No one knows what to do, help her, or just leave her. Out of sympathy for his fans, Elijah helps her out of the bushes...
As Elijah helps up the stranded Nazgirl, she swoons and faints in his arms. Before Elijah can do anything, Dominic yells, " Hey! where'd Billy go?"
With a sudden icy shock, they realize that Billy is nowhere to be seen...
While the others fought Saura, Billy had been cornered by two evil-looking Nazgirls. With no where to run he wondered desperately what to do. Knowing Nazgirls have a tendency to burst into tears if he spoke to them he said "Hello girls"
Instantly both Nazgirls burst into hysterical crying and he could quietly slip past them, into the path of the other. Quickly he planted a small kiss on her cheek and she ran, screaming to tell her friends.
The Company listens silently as they hear the unmistakable sound…..of giggling. Yes, giggling. They shudder in horror. Viggo unsheathes his sword and heads towards the noises. He finds Billy, surrounded by Nazgirls in various stages of undress. They are giving him champagne and feeding him strawberries.
"Billy!" cries Viggo. "You are in extreme peril. I am here to save you."
"I can withstand this peril," replies Billy.
"No, no," says Viggo. "Too perilous!" Viggo sweeps the none-too-pleased Billy into his arms, and rides off.
"Nooooo! Ohhhhhh," groans Billy as Viggo rides off to rejoin the others at Rivendell.
Once there, a great counsel is taken while the stars contemplate how they are going to keep off the terrible Saura and her Nazgirls .. .
"After all," says Ian McKellan, "This is only the first movie! We've got two more coming out--this could go on for the next three years!!!"
"We could handle that," say Sean, Dominic and Billy in chorus.
"Am I never going to have privacy again?" mourns Elijah.
Ian continues, "We must find the thing they are so drawn to and get rid of it."
"Maybe if we grew back hair?" Orlando asks.
"A beard?" Billy asks. Viggo shakes his head.
"Maybe if I lost a finger?" Elijah adds.
"There must be a way .. ." Ian ponders.
Meanwhile, Smoron, I mean Saura, calls a secret meeting in her secret or not so secret base.
Saura [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]picks up nail file) "Girls, despite the fact that we got his picture, that was pathetic. WE NEED MORE NAZGIRLS TO FIGHT THIS!!"
Girl #1:"Where the heck do we find them? They're all against us!"
Girl #2:"What if we got NAZBOYS! I Hear they exist!"
(Several whoops and screams rang out... )
Girl #1: "Are you kidding me? There is only two girls in the whole company, and one's as old as my great-grandfather!!!"
Girl #3: "But everyone loves Liv... Ooh, but not me... NOT ME!!! She's going down... down... down.."
Girl #2: "Yeah, so I say we fight this with boys and girls!"
Saura: "What? DO I GET A SAY IN THIS OR WHAT!?!?!?!" (Of course she ALWAYS did anyway) "I say that's a stupid idea."
Several cries of agony ring out...
Saura: "Oh, be quite... we will have to decide this later."
Girl#2: "NO! OR 'IM TAKING YOUR POSITION!!!! YOU... YOU... YOU... ". she stammers.
Saura: "WE WILL decide later! Right now there is no point to this meeting... ALL DISMISSED!!!"
Meanwhile, back in Rivendell, the company is approached by the Hugo Weaving (the Elrond actor person.)
"I believe that none of you have yet experienced the full extent of the peril you face. I sense a new danger arising, like one that has never been known to this board of filmmakers. The Dark Lordess Maybelline has been breeding a new form of enemy, which she refers to only as Nazgirly-girls."
At this Elijah passed out and fell gracefully... flat on the floor.
"Oops missed that time." Orlando said picking him up and attempting to set him right side up.
Ian Mckellan glared at him. "Hey I can't do everything!" Orlando growled in a low Elvish voice.
Ian muttered morbidly "They are coming... "
At the council, everybody is still debating on how to rid themselves of the evil Nazgirls.
"In order to destroy the Nazgirls, we must first destroy Saura herself." Gandalf said.
"But her evil castle is surrounded by a moat of nail polish. But nobody ever makes it that far. First you must make it through the mascara forests, with poisonous black trees that scar you for life if you are touched by one. After that, you come to the nail polish moat. We cannot defeat Saura." said Sean Bean
"Well if we can't defeat Saura, how will we keep the Nazgirls away?"
Viggo, Orlando, and Ian all sat down to try and figure out a different way to keep the Nazgirls away.
Orlando: "What do the Nazgirls really want from us?"
Viggo: "They want us. Isn't that obvious?"
Orlando: "So what are you suggesting, that we go and throw ourselves in Mount Doom?"
Elijah wakes up and hears the arguing council.
"There is no other way."
"It must be done!"
"And I suppose you think YOU are the one to do it?!?"
"I'll be dead before I see an Elf in the hands of a Nazgirl."
"I'll do it!" Says Elijah in a small voice!
No one hears him.
"I'll do it." He repeats. Ian gives him a funny look.
"Do what?"
"I dunno. Whatever you need me to do. Whatever it takes to conquer the Nazgirls. I'll do it."
"CONQUER!" someone shrieks (Orlando, was that YOU??).
EVERYone turns and looks at him.
"What was that?" says Billy.
"What was that?" says everyone else.
Orlando stands up in the center of the table in the middle of the council.
"These girls are madly in love with us. They would do anything to get us, right?"
Agent Elrond... er... Hugo looks at him funny. "Orlando, you are missing the point. No mortal weapon can destroy these females. They are made of Hormone and Drool. NOTHING can withstand their power."
"Nothing," says Orlando. "Except Hormone and Drool!"
Ahhh... yes, a plan is forming.
"We come in the night, when they are blinded by hyperactive tiredness. This is when their hormone levels are highest. When they will be most easily confused. We will invade their message boards... and we will POST!!"
While they were having this conversation, the Nazgirls had surrounded Rivendell. Suddenly they were closing in on the company, not only with Nazgirls, but also with Nazgirly-girls, and the unheard of Nazboys. The company gazed upon them in unspeakable horror. The girls brandished their photos out of people magazines like swords and the boys waved rolled up posters wildly. Screams fill the air...
Suddenly Viggo cries out: "Stand in a circle! Keep Liv and Elijah in the middle!"
Over the ecstatic screams and hysterical cries, the voice of Hugo Weaving rings out... "By Elbereth and Luthien, you shall have neither us nor... nor... THEM!!!" he whips out his walkie talkie... "Jackson, GET ME SECURITY!"
The Nazgirls and Nazboys lay siege to the fortress, yelling out LOTR characters names.
Suddenly Christopher Lee appears and in an excruciatingly conceited voice tells the Nazgirl\boys that they are pronouncing the characters' names wrong, then proceeds to tell the correct pronunciations. The Nazgirls cry for mercy. Security comes but they are useless because they all gather around Liv Tyler and pose and flirt with her. Then the hobbits grow bold and take of they're disgusting fake hairy gelatin feet and throw them into the hordes of the Nazgirls. The Nazgirls run away, momentarily grossed out by the fake feet. Later on Hugo holds another council.
Hugo proclaims "I know a way to defeat Saura! Just recently I had my agents spying on the Nazgirls and Saura. Here I have a collection of pictures featuring and Nazgirls when they just woke up, AND HAVE BAD HAIR! We also have one of Saura with big pimples. Someone must take these pictures to the Fiery computers of Mount Doom, and there they must upload the pictures onto the internet for all to see!"
"Brilliant!" exclaims Gandalf, "That should make them so embarrassed that they'll die! But who'll take this awful mission?"
"I will take it... " Elijah starts again, but the other actors aren't listening, and are to busy yelling at each other.
"I WILL TAKE IT!" he shouts, getting fed up with everyone ignoring him. "Though I do not know how to work their computer... "
"Then I shall help you carry this burden, as long as it is yours to carry." Ian adds.
"And if by freezing computers, and missing files I can protect you, I will... You have my sword." Viggo cuts in.
"And my two years of computer technology college... I mean bow... " Orlando says, stepping up.
"And my hacking skills... I mean Axe." Gimili adds gruffly.
"If it is truly the will of the council, Bill Gates will see it done." Sean Bean shouts proudly, "Oh yeah, so will Gondor."
Suddenly Astin, Dominic, and Billy run onto the scene.
"Hey, if he gets to go see" cough, cough "I mean destroy the Nazgirls, then we get to go too!" Billy shouts, his face covered with kiss marks.
"Then it is final, you are the Fellowship of the Web-Ring!!"
Meanwhile deep in Orthanc. Christopher Lee is secretly creating an army of his own. Using promises of meeting the actors and signed photographs, Lee draws to him from deep within middle earth a new breed of warrior fan. The Nazpowderpuffgirls. These Nazgirls have makeup that is impervious to everything, so they will never have to re-apply it. Bearing the powder symbol on their foreheads, the Nazpowderpuffgirls set out to find and destroy the actors' dignity.
"I will find the photos The Fellowship carries and use them to enslave the Nazgirls to me!" laughs Lee. "Then the world! Muahahahaah".
While Christopher is plotting in Orthanc, and Saura in Mordor, The Fellowship is making its way south towards Mount Doom.
"We will take the pass over the Misty Mountains" Ian called out to the others behind him. "We with ascend Hollin, the highest peak, and go down the other side. With luck, it will only take us a few days to get over."
But they had no luck. While on Hollin, a furious blizzard of fan mail raged, sent to attack The Fellowship by Saura. The troupe was forced back down the mountain, to take the paths through the deserted dwarf colony of Mourn-ia. As they made their way through, Dominic admired the drear décor of Mourn-ia's dark halls.
"Hey Billy" he called, "look at this" as he attempted to pull the jewel-encrusted armor off a skeleton. With a clang, the skeleton fell backwards and echoed throughout the caverns. The Fellowship turned around and stared down the hall in horror as drum beats developed in the distance, slowly becoming louder and louder.
"They are coming…" whispered Ian.
"Who…what is coming? asked Sean.
"The PRETTY BOYS. You have infuriated them by stealing their fans." whispered Ian.
The drumbeats were coming nearer.
"RUN!" yelled Sean Bean.
Led by Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Affleck, the Pretty Boys came into sight.
Waving movie awards and award nomination letters, their army stormed upon The Fellowship.
Ben Affleck comes flying at them at 114 mph. While Leonardo comes at them doing poor impressions of Shakespeare. Ian pulls out his most dangerous weapon, his beard. The pretty boys get entangled in his ridiculously long beard, and the rest of The Fellowship takes the opportunity to mess up their hair-dos while they are caught, which causes pretty boys to instantly disintegrate.
Then a great dread fell upon The Fellowship, and out of the darkness appears... the dumbest person to ever live... who could it be?... Ricky Martin! Ricky Martin dances his way towards the fellowship, shaking his booty at them and smiling stupidly.
"Fly!" cries Ian. "This foe is beyond any of you!"
Ian turns to Ricky. "Hey Ricky! Fetch! Ian throws a ball into the bottomless pit. Ricky continues dancing towards him.
"Oh, I really thought that would work. hmmm. Hey Ricky, Christina Aguilera, Brittney Spears, and Mandy Moore are in a hot tub down that pit!"
Ricky still continues to dance. "Livin la vida loca!"
Ian almost faints. "Hey Ricky! Elton John is also in that pit!"
Ricky dives in, but Ian trips on some oil that fell out of Ricky's hair and he also falls into the pit.


tell me what you think aboot this story, and yall can make like part 2s or whatever...jus have fun
[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

that was longer than i thougt...sorry guys. but it was still funny anyway. lol

OH MY GOSH THAT'S FUNNY!!!
When I heard about the hickey of Mordor, I almost fell off my chair! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

-----------------------------------
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!

My heavens, that certainly is worth the long read! I am dying! Here's my attempt at a part two:

"IAN!" screamed Elijah as all of them bodily dragged him out of Mourn-ia. He sobbed like a baby, but who didn't shed a tear? After all, Ian McKellan had fallen into a pit with RICKY MARTIN, no less! What a terrible fate. But Viggo remained ever-strong and got to his feet.

"We will keep going, guys," he announced heroically as light shown down on him and a heavenly chorus sang psalms. Apparently the lighting crew and soundtrack choir was practicing nearby. "We cannot let this horrible tragedy keep us from continuing this quest!"

"... whatever," everyone else muttered, but they got up and trekked on anyway into the woods of Looky-Laurens. Inside, John Rhys-Davies got a paranoid expression on his face and hissed, "There is a temptress in these woods! Anyone who falls under her spell will forever be forced to take care of their hair and nothing else!" Viggo noticeably brushed a hand through his greasy mop self-consciously. Suddenly, who should leap out from behind the trees but many well-groomed, blonde folk, hairspray cans drawn dangerously. It was the Looky-Laurenites!

"You're all really LOUD!" shouted Craig Parker, waving his can of deadly hairspray in emphasis. "You woke us all up from a really good nap and now you're in BIG trouble." He took aim at Viggo, who turned a few different shades of pale.

"WAIT!" he pleaded. "We are on a quest to kill the Nazgirls!" Craig paused.

"Oh, are you? I've been having trouble from them myself lately," he muttered. "Okay, then. I'll let you guys take off." He waved and the Fellowship was allowed to go on through, but they ran into Cate Blanchett, calmly grooming her flowing wig in front of her "mirror". Elijah looked inside and saw his house burning down with many Nazgirls running away screaming, afraid for their lives. Then, he saw the houses of all his companions being dragged down under the weight of a hoarde of the Nazgirls and Nazboys and Nazgirly-girls. It was horrible! He fainted dead away and had to be carried a good way out. But as they got away and into the motorboats that were somehow left on the shore, they noticed John Rhys-Davies brushing his hair lovingly.

"What?!" he demanded, noticing their stares. They said nothing, just let him continue his grooming (it made him look better anyway). They motored down the river And-a-wind (which was, in fact, rather peaceful wind-wise) until they ran out of gas (apparently Viggo forgot to pack some extras). They parked it on the western shore and started wondering what the heck they were going to do next, when a familiar scream split the air.

"That's impossible!" Elijah screeched. "How did they follow us here?!" But he didn't get a reply, for at that moment, hoardes of Nazgirls, Nazboys and Nazgirly-girls came barreling into their encampment. In the struggle to get away, Sean Bean fell and was carried away on the shoulders of a group of drooling, screaming Nazgirls. His screams faded into the forest and he was never heard from again. Much to Billy's delight, he and Dom were also taken away and Elijah and Sean Astin were separated from Viggo and Orlando and John in the mayhem. Confused, Elijah and Sean swam to the eastern shore and continued on to Mordor while Viggo, Orlando and John decided they liked Billy and Dom better, so they went after them. And thus was the Fellowship broken.

(No, I wasn't one of the Nazgirls that took Sean Bean. Stop asking! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img])

uh-oh...i might have been one of the nazgirls that took away Billy and Dom...
MORE! MORE! MORE!

Tahat's great! I read that story a while ago and loved it! Keep it going... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Ah! The recognize myself! All the symptoms of Nazgirl behavior! AHHHH!

Ooooo, too funny! My sides hurt from laughing! Whoever came up with that idea is a crazy person. Lol! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

**cackles madly** AH, rabid fangirlisms will never be the same again.... Ok, I know its skipping a bit, and more Movie-ish than book-ish but....

In Ithilin:
David Wenham smiled evilly, the tip of his sword holding the Ring on its chain round Elijah's neck.
**Author spotnatneously combusts at thought. No, stop being rabid...right, back to the story**
"A chance for Faramir of Gondor to show his quality." **nudge nudge, wink wink. Right, PAY ATTENTION!!**Elijah yelled and ran to the back of the cave. Sean Astin stood up in
outrage. "Can't you see? Cant you see what its doing to him? Please, let us go!" A servant bustled in. "Sir, Osgilath is under attack."
***
The attack on Osgilath:
"Watch out!" bawled someone. Something crashed into the side of a tower, sending debris everywhere. It fell near to where David, Sean, Elijah and some guy claiming to be Andy stood. They all looked at it, a giant hairbrush. Elijah looked up slowly. "Theyre here....theyve come..." There was a blood curdling screech.
"NAZGIRLS!" Yelled David "Take cover!"
The foul creatures swooped down on the city, with no mercy. Anything remotley male and good looking were pounced apon and carried away to their dooms. Elijah felt himself drawn to them. Sean was calling, yelling something at him but he couldnt hear. He walked onto a high bridge, and watched as the Chief Nazgirl approached, batting her eyelashes and riding a pink and fluffy flamingo of enormous size. Elijah could hear a voice in his head: "Come to me, give yourself up..." The Nazgirl had almost reached him when Sean flung himself up the stairs, knocking Elijah away from the Nazgirl. "Your hair looks awful and the flamingo is *so*last season!" He called, and the creature flew back in disgust. David, calling on all his will, threw insults at it, leaving it more vunerable. He flung a hairbrush at it, messing its hair, and the creaure fell to its ruin. Elijah in the meantime, had pinned Sean to the floor. "You! You ruined my chances! How many times, Im not interested..."

Right, that was pants. Never mind.... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

those are crazy! you've done well... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] keep em' comming. (im not smart enough to come up with any of my own...)

LOL!!!! This is totally great guys, I might try to make an attempt at continuing it if I didn't have this damned chemistry to study. Keep up the good work! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Dude...im so in the legolas nazgirl thing...woah buddy. watchout orlando... here i come [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Hey me too MirkwoodPrincess!!!!! This is hilarious you guys! I wish I was awake enough to post some of my own,*sighs in exasperation* Oh well, I guess I'll just have to come back tomorrow, what a shame [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

I like it, funny funny funny!
Mondieu, I don't think I'm a Nazgirl, but man, I'd like to be. It's just not me though.

I wanna be a nazgirl... i want a flamingo

I want a pink flamingo dammit!

My friend has a pink flamingo, I could steal it from her and mail it to you Leo..... She might not like me much after that though....

Isn't anyone more creative than me and can post another Nazgirl attack?!?!(Please say yes, if the answer is no then the world is lost considering my lack of creativity)

*dies*

Any chance that this could turn into a Tolkien-related discussion?

Since people have told me they need a warning: Beware! This topic is scheduled for termination if it does not improve.

P.S. It was the 'dies' that alerted me that this topic had gone south.

IMPROVE!!!!!!!!!! Its one of the best topics yet!!! Dont read what u dont like.

I LOVE THIS STORY! IT HAS TO BE THE BEST PARODY-THING I'VE EVER READ! I nearly DIED from laughter! It was sorta creepy, tho, cause I was in the hall @ school and these people strated screaming like nazgirls...it was so funny tho cause only 3 other people I know would get it...

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! ,he he, I die when I read these things !HAHA!!!!!!*falls of chair*.I hope more posts will come in soon! [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

*gasp* oh my god, this is the funniest ever! Half the people i know are 'nazgirls...'

That. Was. Hilarious!!! I couldn't stop laughing (neither could my little brother, Balësirion, who was reading it with me.) 99.9% of the girls at my school are genuine Nazgirls!! Is this story in Fan Fiction? If not, please send it in ASAP! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

I like these storys but I can't write them! HELP! [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Foreword: The Company of the Bad Hair Pictures has reached Mordor. They have entered a group of caves and are walking through a long tunnel that covers the width of the Mountains of Shadow. But Boromir is having second thoughts about the venture.

______________________________

Boromir (thinking) "Its not me they want, it is the others. But I simply must get a fangirl. And I know how, too! I have to get those pictures, and return them to Saura. Then I shall be reward-" THOCK! Boromir smacks his head on the low ceiling, and falls down unconcious. The company continues, leaving him behind.

Boromir, lost in the caverns, conceeds to a diet of dead fish and a life of swimming in a small pool, and terrorizing his few guests with deadly riddle compettions.

_________________________________

Continue the Story!

I hate to do this, but you almost put some reality into this thread. You see, Ian happens to be Magneto in X-Men, and during a special interview with him he revealed that he is gay. That's why he liked the role of Magneto, it showed the struggle of "different" people v. "ordinary" people.
In spite of this, your story was extremely funny.
[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

oh my god this was so funny. i cannot believe it! i think i may be a nazgirl but who isn't?

i think parodies are good because they make tolkien good on so many levels!
i mean they reach to the people who hate lotr (i mean my sister who hates lotr was laughing her backside off to this!)

They Are Coming!
Ha! I don't think I'll stop laughing for another three days.

What would Tolkien think? (there, I said Tolkien, ya happy now?) [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Tolkien is probably rolling in his grave right now. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Monty-Python references were much appriciated.

You are Nazgirls, all of you.

Heres my attempt:

Battle at Helmsdeep.
Before the battle. In the armery.
Viggo is putting on Fan-letter-resistent chain mail. He reaches for his restraing order and can't find it. Turning around he bumps heads with Orlando, and Orlando replies "I was wrong to give in." Viggo smiles, JohnRhyes comes in and puts on some chain mail which is about 2ft. too long. "What?" He asks. Then Orlando says "that is no Nazgirl scream." Running outside they see Craig (Haldir) march in with about 5,000 security guards. Viggo hugs him and Craig says "I came here because you need some help right?"
~5 hours later~
The powderpuffgirls charge forward throwing fan-letters follded into paper airplanes. The security gaurds retaliate by throwing tear gas and slugs. Then a cry comes up from the good side. "They have ladders!" The ladders lock onto the wall and fold out. All notice that there made of hair brushes duct-taped toghether. The nazgirls charge on to the batallments trampiling the security guards. Squosh. Then Orlando, John (Gimli), and Vigo charge at them waving restraining orders! Then three nazgirls place a pachage of self rising brownies near the water grate and add water. The brownies inflate to over 100 times there normal size and blow a hole in the wall. Forced to retreat they hide in the hornberg and plan there escape. Then Viggo looks out the window and sees Ian flapping his arms trying to get someones attention. Then theguywhoplaystheodred says "Have a picture of Christopher in his boxer shortrs. SOMEONE FIND A COPPIER!!!" Having made dozens of pictures they glue them all to posts and hand them out to everyone. "For death, and glory, and the yellowish-green rise of the sun!" Then they charge out scaring thousands of nazgirls with there pictures! Ian runs down the hill followed by the FBI. They beat all the nazgirls and go backto Edoras.

I especially enjoyed this part: I have a desperate need to express something creatively but no inspiration whatsoever, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and attempt a short variation on this theme, at least partially inspired by a particularly painful interview of Elijah Wood on Ellen the other day (yes, I taped it--does this make me a Nazgirl?) [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

The scene: Osgiliath. David (Wenham) glanced sharply upwards and gave the call, "Nazgirl!" his dazzling teeth bared to the sky. In less than a moment, Elijah stands exposed on the battlements, clutching the Ring, having been directed to stand there no matter what. Sean looks on uneasily from the wings, worried for his friend. "Why would Peter Jackson make Elijah stand out there in the open?" Sean mused. Then he saw it. The Nazgirl was descending in a makeshift aircraft that was fashioned with flapping skinlike wings and a lizardlike head at the end of a long neck. The Fell Beast had several hidden propellers and made an intolerable screeching noise. Sean wasn't sure if the noise was the Nazgirl screaming or the hideous chariot in which she rode. He looked nervously over at Elijah, who was standing completely still, except for the hand that held the Ring. The hand slipped upwards to his face, Ring in his clutches. Slowly his other hand rose to meet it. Before Peter could yell "Cut!" Elijah's fingers were in his mouth. He had begun to chew what was left of his nails in an unconscious succumbing to a lifelong habit. Sean scratched his head, but he also risked a glance up at the horrific Nazgirl on her Fell Helicopter. She was mesmerized, unmoving, her eyes were focused on Elijah's hands. It was a delicate moment. Sean's eyes met Elijah's. Suddenly there was an understanding. The balanced tipped and Sean could see the Nazgirl beginning her dive. If Elijah hesitated, this could be the end.

Suddenly, Elijah quickly sat down upon the battlements, pulled his oversized hobbit foot up towards his mouth, and began to chew on one of the 'toenails.' It was an amazing feat of contortion, but Elijah did not break a sweat, nor lose his balance. Sean watched him for a moment, wondering if he did this regularly. Then his thought strayed back to the imminent threat, the hovering Nazgirl. Interestingly, she was still staring, but her eyes were open in a horrified wide gaze, her illusions destroyed forever. The spell was broken. Sean did not realize his peril...

OK...rate it if you were able to stand reading it! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
Cheers!
Lyta

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 1:21 AM January 10, 2004: Message edited by: Lyta_Underhill ]

OMG this is the funniest thing ever! I would post except for I'm supposed to be grounded from the internet for a while (which is why I'm at my friends house) but I'll try again when I'm ungrounded! I am such a Nazgirl!!! (Nazgirls 4ever!)

Man the way you are all acting, I am never going to be like you.

These are funny! Um, what else is there to say since my creativity is at an all time low, I think. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

OK girls. Becuase it's during our long boring holidays here in Australia, my friends and i decided that we would paint T Shirts and cut them up, etc.

And in the spirit of this, i have been inspired to create one which reads "Nazgirls" (among the many other LOTR and others we made up.) So im saying Thankyou for the inspiration and "Go Nazgirls" (after all there are plenty of us.)

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Am I the only Nazboy on this thread or what? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I always enjoyed the Nazgirls...they made me giggle! You guys are always good for a laugh.