"I assure you Théoden, there are indeed talking trees, and my cousin Radagast has not been having me try his new mushroom hybrids."

I can't believe somebody didn't say this already
 

Gandalf: And now for slide #387 of The Greatest Hits of Gandalf Uncloaking!

- Gandalf, my country is in ruin. The armies are scattered, the treasuries are emptied, my people do not trust in me anymore. What should I do?

- Hang every nobleman and pain Meduseld blue.

- But why blue?

- I knew there would be no issues with the first proposal.

Gandalf: "...and that's how I got past the Balrog on the 100th level in Moria. Now, on level 99 we duked it out with rocks..."

Theoden: :If I was still under Saruman's spell, I wouldn't have to listen to this.:

"See, Théoden, I had this dream once that I wore a silly helmet and could control metal."

http://corecanvas.s3.amazonaws.com/t...inal/acfed.jpg

"Just a minute, folks. I want to sketch this scene for your tombs....er, for history."

- Elrond, are Elves supposed to get a growth spurt when they reach a couple thousand years, or were you drinking the Ent-draught again?

Don't mention the abomination
 

Much to the dismay of the Fellowship, and due to unfortunate incidents in the past, Elrond explained in no uncertain terms, that elvish hospitality did not extend to naked frolicking in public fountains.

Alright, we know that one of you is the culprit who ate all the cake.

Erestor: We've rounded up the usual suspects Elrond, can you point out which one stole your wallet?

Is this allowed?
 

Hugo Weaving was very happy to announce that in order to "corner the market", he had managed to convince New Line and Peter Jackson to film Lord of the Rings as well as a porno parody silmutaniously using the same cast.

Scene from the new movie, "Honey, I Shrunk The Fellowship"

"No one leaves here alive until one of you lot confesses who took Priscilla on a joyride across the Bruinen."

Good Morning Class!

Welcome to Hair Weaving 401! This is the capstone course for this major and by the end of the course you are expected to be able to recreate the magificent weave I am currently sporting on the back of my head.

Hair Weaving 401 with Hugo! :cool: :rolleyes:

You figured out my inspiration for the joke! :o

Elrond started to doubt his own judgment, when he for the thousand time had to scold the Fellowship for turning on all the torches in broad daylight.

Elrond: "You've already had breakfast."

The whole Fellowship, now converted to Hobbit ways: **A STARE, DENOTING THEY HAVE HAD ONE, YES, BUT WHAT ABOUT SECOND BREAKFAST**

At roll call Gimli managed to cover-up the absence of the rest of the fellowship, by the strategic placement of cardboard cut-outs and Elrond seemed none the wiser.

Did someone say bring the old times back?
 

Yes, Elrond, we are staging a protest to demand the right for second breakfast. And if you refuse to comply, we will start operating under a new slogan: "Gondor needs no pants".

"Listen guys you have been loitering here since 2019, don't you have a mountain to catch?"


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Gandalf was tempted by the Ring, but in the end his germaphobia ensured that he would never claim it for his own.

"Heavens Frodo, that is a nasty hangnail!"

Even with Frodo holding the One Ring out immediately before him, Gandalf still couldn't take his eyes off the hobbit's prodigious feet.

Frodo: "Hey! Gandalf! My eyes are up here!"

The hypnosis content was heading towards a stalemate after one and half hours of Frodo just repeating "you are sleepy... so very sleeepy..." and Gandalf repeating "follow my fingers' movement..."

Ah, cheese Hula Hoops, my favourite said Gandalf

Is THIS your ring..?

After a few pints at the Green Dragon, Gandalf was rather struggling to get his finger to the intended target.

Frodo quickly realised that the Magic of Gandalf mainly consisted of making items "float" in mid air with the cunning use of very thin string.

"Good heavens, no, no, no!" cried Gandalf. "That's the little piggy that went 'wee wee wee' all the way home, THAT little piggy went to market!"

Gandalf always considered himself "hip with the kids" and was tempted to try the latest craze since West Farthing Leaf.

Frodo didn't know where this old magic man came from.

Frodo: Come on, Gandalf, shake my hand!

*bzzt*

Gandalf: Ouch!

Frodo: Gotcha! I can't believe you fell for that!

Doesn't really need a caption, but a friend sent me this and I thought you might enjoy.

Old Woman: I don't want to eat it and you can't make me!

I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have cooked,
Of veggies, herbs, meats and broth that oh so fresh had looked
Or at least were not much spoiled in autumns that there were,
I could not sit for long downwind, so don't mind all the hair.
I sit beside the fire and think of how this meal will be,
For any who can stomach it, forsooth! twill not be me!



For still there are so many things that I have never eaten
In every pot on every fire there is a different green
I sit beside the fire and think of lunches long ago,
And people who will have a snack that I shall never know.
While all the while I sit and stew at what I've stewed before,
I listen for retreating feet and noises from thrown bowls

What a jingle for a Middle-Earth themed cooking show!