Two cents: The Phantom Finance
 

What exactly are these mystic tenders that permeate the forum, even through to the posts of older and highly intelligent members? Whether of mithril, American currency or just plain old silver, they dangle over every person's argument, a triumph of idiom over substance. The Foible-ometer is warbling tremendously this month.

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

Let me be the first to say, "Huh?"

I don't know. I usually use plastic. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Maikadilwen ]

A tuppence for your foreclosure on clichés, Sir.

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

Dude? What is it with this? *assumes yoda position* Money you say? Not much, have I money this is. Yeeesss. Poor college student am I, money not much I have, yeeessss.

I suppose I was the only person who heard that *hic!* at the end of Rimbaud's post?

*Maril picks up an empty beer bottle from the collection rolling about Rim's feet. Tsk-tsk, frogs just can't hold their liquor (unlike the French)...*

There was a serious point amidst my careless verbiage. Not only do I dislike the appearance of 'just my two cents' and its variations but I am unsure of the etymology of the phrase.

Maril, if you notice my time of posting, I was firmly ensconced at my desk at the time, as I am still, without hope of any reprieve, let alone an alcoholic one. Still, only four or five more hours left now, I hope.

I can't vouch for the accuracy of the following:

Two Cents Plain

In a letter received a few days ago, our correspondent Michael Raynor reported that he had spent the better part of two days at a conference with twenty-four accountants, and had put his time to good use by dreaming up questions for this column. On the off chance that I might somehow curry favor with some accountants and thus parlay my answers into a tax deduction, today I tackle another of Mr. Raynor's queries. "Why do people only contribute their 'two cents worth' when making a contribution to conversation or debate?", Mr. Raynor wonders, "Inflation aside, I don't think two cents ever really amounted to much purchasing power."

Speaking as someone who grew up a few short blocks from a first-rate penny- candy emporium, I beg to differ -- two cents per day, applied in the form of liquorice whips and gumballs, can buy you a lifetime of dental adventure.

In any case, the whole point of "my two cents worth," which originated in the late 19th century, is that it is a faux-modest, self-deprecating tactic used to disarm your audience before you announce your opinion. This is especially important in the event that your opinion turns out to be idiotic, in which case you can always claim that you warned your listeners in advance that your opinion was next to worthless. The phrase has long since become a cliche, and its use can be especially grating when the person announcing the arrival of his "two cents worth" is a doctor or lawyer (or a dentist, come to think of it) charging you two hundred dollars an hour. Don't get me started.

"Two cents" or "two-center" has been a slang synonym for "very cheap" since the middle of the 19th century, when the cheapest cigar available was literally a "two- center." The U.S. Treasury Department actually issued a two-cent coin in 1864, which was, incidentally, the first U.S. coin to bear the motto "In God We Trust." The government, evidently feeling frisky in a monetary sort of way, also issued coins in three-cent and twenty-cent denominations during the same period.

Found at http://www.word-detective.com/back-k.html.

Ironically, those two-cent coins are no doubt worth thousands now - if you can land one. Maybe we should scavenge through the 'olde' posts? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

-Maril

(My dear Rimbaud, I fear I neglected to run the time of your post through the mathematical calculations that convert my Pacific Standard Time (PST), to Barrow-downs Standard Time (BDST), to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Nor do I know if you work in advertising or not, where they keep beer in the fridge on shoots. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] )

I always thought that it was something of a devaluation when applied to my own opinions, the value of which begins at around £400 for an off-the-cuff remark about the weather to several billion in Sterling for a general solution to world poverty and distress.

Naturally I don't value any words of mine in cents, not only because two cents is too small an amount for any British bureau de change to consider exchanging, but also because that is too small an amount to justify the energy that I would expend in expressing myself. Clearly the wear and tear on my bronchial passages alone is worth at least fourpence ha'penny. When typing, the impact damage to my fingers and strain on my tendons comes to nearer half-a-crown and a pickled egg. *

Plus, as Rimbaud's legendary Foible-ometer has pointed out to us, it's really annoying, especially after eight or nine people beforehand have used precisely the same get-out for opinions ranging from the lucidly perceptive to the almost bovinely crass. There's no need for anyone's two Drachma, Sestertii, Doubloons or Cents, Euro or otherwise. We only want your opinions.

All cheques for my six-hundred and thirty-one pounds, four shillings and ninepence should be made payable to the Amon Rûdh Roof-Restoration and Drainage Fund. Thank-you for your generosity.

* All amounts given in Imperial currency. I'll be cold in my grave before I acknowledge decimalisation.

This reminds me of the equally unnecessary but extremely overused 'faux-humility' statement pasted before most entries in any thread that revolves around a central creative theme (i.e. Middle-earth puns, Best/Worst Cast, Crazy Captions, etc.).

They each start with the obligatory "Here's my pathetic attempt", "I know this is terrible, but here goes", "Don't shoot me", or something similar. The self-deprecation usually seems insincere and a bit forced, so I find its (over)use somewhat annoying ,though I seem to recall being guilty of doing the same at least once on this forum. But no more! I have sworn off of it, and each of my posts is now preceded by an unwritten air of snooty superiority!

That's my two cents worth!

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: The Barrow-Wight ]

Barrow Wight:

Now that last bit of wisdom from you was worth far more than two bits! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

I firmly believe that people should say what they've got to say and let others decide whether to shoot arrows (or turn the speaker into something unnatural) on their own ... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Gandalf the Grey

Shame on you, BW. Tsk tsk... [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Maril, I give up. While I am still in the States, consider yourself on my bad side, until you have rectified my drinklessness. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Wight, thank you for your full and interesting response... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] You are right, I think it is the faux-humility that is the gist of what irks. If people don't believe that what they are saying is of much worth, then...


On a different note, Squatter, I'm not paying anything for the words of a man who believes he is Squatting on a hill that quite patently does not exist. Good day, Sir. Hurrumph. (Add token winking smiley here).

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

But Rimbaud,

Would a token winking smiley be worth more or less than two coins? And what of its comparative worth to a Tolkien winking smiley? [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Gandalf the Grey

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Gandalf_theGrey ]

Here are two cents for your pun, Gandy.

[img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Edit: I should mention that I have never been guilty of such egregious punnery.

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Rimbaud ]

*Maril smothers guffaw into what roughly approximates a cough* Puns, oh no, not you, Rimbaud!

Would you prefer that I ratify your drinklessness before you rectify it? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

-Maril

Do you really think that bailiffs would fail to evict squatters from a hill that does exist? In Blair's Britain? Besides, I refuse to have my grip on sanity questioned by someone who can't even decide whether he thinks he's a French radical poet, a dancing frog or a superpiscine trout. Even your delusions have schizophrenia, Sir! I pronounce your disbelief to be a silly thing!

What annoys me is when people announce that their post has ended. I don't see the logic of it...would we keep reading forever if we didn't see "Ok, I'm going to stop typing now" (and permutations thereof)? Of course not. They wouldn't do that in a vocal converstaion; why do it in a typed one?

edit: corrected "they're" in place of "their". I must be in need of one of those brain replacement operations. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[ October 30, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

Eighteen posts on the topic of the origins and usages of that ol' linguistic chestnut "my two-cents worth"? It's times like these that make me wish that Tolkien's literary output had been a bit more "hefty".

That's my opinion and I'm stickin' to it!

BTW, Squatter:

which one applies to you?

Obviously no government can lay claim to the ownership of Amon Rûdh, being that it has long since sunk beneath the waves. However there is no evidence in Tolkien's writings that the original Dwarven owners ever gave up their title to the place. Therefore what remains is theirs, and my own petty occupation of it constitutes squatting.

Being underwater, this hill is fairly damp, but no government will issue a drainage grant on the grounds that it falls under nobody's jurisdiction. As I said, all contributions gratefully received.

Than, forgiving my purely scientific interest, which is tha main reason for this investigation, would you be so kind to further clarify which of the following describes you:

Thank you for your cooperation

Yours sincerely,

Neither. Squatting (the physical postition) is extremely uncomfortable, and unnecessary for one of my modest stature. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

This topic has been fun, but it has gone off-topic. Let's get back to the 'two-cents' and such or move on to new pastures.

Penny for your thoughts, B-W.

I think that two cents is an understatement or an overstatement for the worth of some posts. For example, many of you have imparted priceless bits of wisdom worth far more than two cents.

On the other hand, some posts and posters (not mentioning any names) put valueless messages up as a matter of routine. For example, quoting the entire above post, and then saying "I agree" or "lol" (I hate that).

So maybe 2 cents is an average of the valuable and the invaluable.

My opinions are free to all. It seemed only appropriate, in view of the generous efforts of the Barrow-Wight and others, to follow their example and offer opinions completely on charity. Yes, I generate them purely for unselfish motives such as these, so consider yourselves lucky!

...not that I'm merely following the law of supply and demand or anything...

--Belin Ibaimendi

Hey! I'm not really "less experienced" and even I am afraid to put my two cents in. I'm afraid someone will follow my post with something along the lines of, "You MORON! How can you SAY that? You are unworthy of your over 1200 posts! You dippy little teen-age blonde! Go to the mall or something!" So, I think that the timidity of "new" posters also just extends to those of us that are younger in general (I am 15), because we have all of these more mature, experienced people all around us. They all have all of this experience, and we have none. I mean, I have only read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales, Lost Tales 1, and a few chapters of Lost Tales 2, so, when people start going into "HoME IX", I get kind of crosseyed and confused...then I get very quiet...

Well, don't shoot me down, but here it goes..
Here my two cents on the whole thing:

LOL! I agree.

Well, that's the end of my post, so you can stop reading now.

* applauds Bill Ferny, hoping that no one will say, "Don't applaud, just throw money." * [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

OK, I know, this makes four cents now. But there's something else that I really hate: When people throw up a post just to get that one hundred and first post.

Oh, wait... did I just do that?

Lol, Bill Ferny. I agree!

*Elenna rejoices in her hypocrisy*

Then, when you get as many posts as I have, you begin to not care at all anymore...or as many as Elenna has for that matter. Then why am I posting, you may ask? Well...okay: I'll stop while I'm ahead...

EDIT: oooh: that was my 1320th post...

[ November 06, 2002: Message edited by: VanimaEdhel ]

You know what's a bummer? When you look down and realize that for your glorious 1,000th post, all you did was post a one-word answer to some quiz. And got it wrong to boot.

-Maril

ÇâÖ ÂÏÔ ÌÄ ÉÍÔÒÉÂÖÄÃ, ÀÒÉË, Õ`Ì ÂÏÉÍ ÔÏ ÝäÄÝÊ ÏÖÔ ßäÀÔ ÌÚ Ê''Ôä ÐÏÓÔ ßÀÓ ÀÁÏÖÔ :0

edit: above is supposed to read as:

You got me intrigued, maril, I’m going to check out what my 1000th post was about [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

It seems I have accidentally switched to different keyboard layout while posting

[ November 07, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

Heren, let me echo the Barrow-wight's earlier comment to Rimbaud here: Huh?

(Is my computer missing those fonts?)

-Maril

heh, I've found it. And you know what? It's indeed in Quotes subforum, though answer given was correct.

HerenIstarion's 1000th post

BTW, I have an idea. There may be opened a thread for 1000th posts (for I was lucky mine occured in EzBoard times, for UBB is not fixing post numbers and I would have been unable to find it otherwise). All people reaching this milestone should post there. Kind of celebrating party. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

well, and not to be accused of straying off topic, I'll say that was my tuppence [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Wow, that was deep, HI. I think I marked my 1000th post. I think I'll go see if I can find it.

Without in any way casting aspersions on the worth of the 1000th post (or their predecessors) of Maril, H-I, or Elenna, perhaps it is not inappropriate, in light of the inundation of useless posts under which we groan, to recall Treebeard's explanation of Entish, for I would hate to think that this discussion would be misconstrued as inciting a hasty rash of agglomerating posts:

And I would hope that all can see this post is written in full homage to Entish, wherein "it takes a very long time to say anything." [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Bethberry