The Slapsauce Fellows
 

No, this isn't exclusively about The Saucepan Man, although it is inspired by his nom d'internet.

We have the Tolkien Various-Agéd Clubs. We have the birthday and deathday felicitations threads. We have Barrow Benefactors and the Photo Page. But no Barrow Downs Roast Thread.* Have you ever want to roast* a fellow Downer in honour of his (or her) birthday? Or perhaps you wished to commemorate some significant achievement, such as parenthood, co-vivanthood, divorcedom, graduation?

Well, here we have a convivial thread where our fellow members can be fittingly and wittingly feted. Here's how it works. We come up with gently teasing epithets (no abuses, nothing derogatory), in honour of the member's activities here.

To be honest, this thread was inspired by Morthoron the Moriquendi's siggie and source. That list of insults is as eloquent as anything Blackadder ever devised. Our epithets won't be nearly as insulting or bawdy--remember, this is a Tolkien forum after all--but can demonstrate equally cleverness and humour while remaining within the bounds of such taste as Tolkien himself showed in his writing.

And so to begin humbly, in honour of The Saucepan Man's birthday, I offer these gentle and modest roasts* in place of toasts:

You are, sir, a roisterous bounder of authorial rights, a wallowing, walloping werewolfing wag, and a codswalloping courser of loyerly lays. Your health!

Each day will provide new victims, er, um, I mean, celebrants. :D

*Pondlish being changeable and variable as all language, the activity invited here is best defined as:

-to honor with or subject to a roast: Friends roasted the star at a charity dinner.
-a ceremonial tribute, usually concluding a banquet, in which the guest of honor is both praised and good-naturedly insulted in a succession of speeches by friends and acquaintances.
-to make fun of in an affectionate way

Any readerly insistence to interpret the word in any other way will receive an authoritative rebuke. ;)

Hmmm...why wait for a celebration? Instead of insulting actual posters (which may be construed as rude, no matter the levity implied, and presumptuous in my case, considering I have not developed such a camaraderie here), why not pick on a fictitious character? We can name him Hieronymous Anonymous!

Sink me, if he is naught but a palaverously disemboguing jackanape, a grubberly grumbler mumbling monosyllabistic mundanity. This jack-in-the-pulpit's stentorious staccato of gymnastic grammarianations presents a puerilanimosity pervading the printed page like an army of addlepated ants marching off with a discarded piece of pretzel logic. Oh, but he has a marvelous sense of punctuation!

Note: Neither grammarianations nor puerilanimosity exist in any lexicon that I am aware of; however, in honor of Rabelais and Tolkien himself (with his use of words such as confusticate and wilderlands), perhaps it'd be fun to coin new words as well.

Who determines who is roasted each day?

Any Downs member who wishes to post. I had imagined that birthdays would provide the prime motivation, but it need not be limited to natal days. Someone might, for instance, be tempted to roast your pink hair, but I see that alatar and Hookbill have already undertaken on the photo thread the kind of affectionate and gentle teasing that I envisioned for this thread. After all, this forum is for emulating Tolkien's taste.

EDIT: Although, as Morthoron has offerred, I suppose there could be generic fun in simply writing the epithets without offering them to any Downer in particular. I do like the way he has invoked Tolkien in the coining of new words. ;)

My failure to post on this thread, Bêthberry, is due to my usual confusion as to your purpose and meaning, as you use all of those etymologicalistical nightmarish (or knightmarish) words pretzeled in grammatical guttations that continually have this simple man reaching for his virtual dictionary, compass (both meanings, of course), graph paper and set of coloured pens. I've also consulted tea leaves, crystals and chicken bones (after dinner) as their delphic deciphercations are as about as useful as all that science I don't understand - it's just my job five days a week.

Er...what was I talking about?

Oh, and I effect no affectations.

If all of that makes no sense - but sounds like something that should...well, welcome to my world. ;)

I thought that he was referring to me, given that the insult is framed by reference to the insultee's loquaciousness ... ;)

I don't know you well enough to insult you with epithets of such magnitude. From the few posts I've read of yours, I could probably only muster something simpler, along the lines of: "A lupine lollygagger predisposed to overt acts of syllabicide."

But as I don't know you, then I certainly wouldn't post it.

Oh...ummm...sorry...never mind.