If They Went To Prision...
 

Just thinking, if any character in LOTR went to prision, what for? Here's my thoughts:

Frodo: Possesing an illegal piece of Jewelry

Gollum: Stalking people with shiny jewelry.

Gandalf: Possesion of illegal fireworks

The Ringwraiths- Annoying, stalking, and harassing the common folk of Middle Earth.

Orks: Tresspassing on Middle Earth Property, vandalism.

Pippin: Dusterbing the peace

Merry and Pippin: Illegal handling of fireworks (in the movie anyway)

Orcs: Manslaugher

Frodo - smugling gold through several borders

Aragorn - unlicenced medical practice

Ugluk - kidnapping

Grima - the abuse of power and trust

Arwen: Waylaying Glorfindel on his way to save Frodo. How exactly she disposed of him would determine the sentance. (I did like Arwen in the movie, but I'm just sayin'...)

The Fellowship: Disturbing the peace in Moria. (Pippin gets double-sentance.)

Movie Aragorn: Giving a weapon to a minor. (That being Pippin).

Bilbo Baggins: Two counts of theft (ring and arkenstone) and cheating at riddles.

Sauron: Waaaaaay too much to mention. Just throw the whole book at him. Literally.

Morgoth: Ditto, plus corrupting Maiar. (Ok so he's Silmarillion, sue me).

Ted Sandyman: aiding and abetting the enemy

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins: petty theft

Legolas: defying the Law of Gravity (walking on snow, etc.)

Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, Gandalf, and Gimli: possession of weed

Treebeard: disturbing the peace, instigating a riot, and destruction of personal property (and walking way below the speed limit)

LOL, but you forgot Bilbo!

Wights: Kidnapping and attemptive murder

Orcs: Giving alcohol (strong drink) to a minor {That being Pippin}

Gollum: Stalking and illegally spying

Old Man Willow: Attemptive Murder

Tom Bombadil: Tree abuse

King Denethor: Attemptive Murder

Saruman filing a law sute against the ents...
a) For flooding b) for the "relocating" of an entire forest in the course on one night.

"Saruman: NA NA NA NA NA!! BETCHA DIDN'T KNOW I HAD FLOOD INSURANCE!!!"

Gandalf & dwarves for plotting against Bilbo and his Removal from the shire.

Galndalf: cruelty to minorities (Pippin)

Cave-Troll: atemptive murder

Shelob: attemptive murder

sauron & co: attempted murder

(geeze! i think Frodo was the most wanted dude in all middle earth.... that ring must've been REALLY priceless!)

Gandalf and Frodo for plot against Bilbo to get the ring.

ok! that's all i'll bore you with!.......... for now [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

You're right, I forgot the old scoundrel! I'll book him for thievery and lying under oath while I'm at it [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Denethor: violation of fire codes

Éowyn: impersonating military personnel

Orcs of Moria: unsafe living conditons

Saruman: violation of environmental safety codes

Sam, Merry, Pippin and Frodo: Gate-breaking, and Tearing up of Rules, and Assaulting Gate-keepers, and Trespassing, and Sleeping in Shire-buildings without Leave, and Bribing Guards with food, and Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look like a lot of Tom-fools.

I love those lines from Scouring of the Shire! LOL!

LOL! That was hilarious! I'll be back soon with more charges.

LOL! Those were hilarious.

here's my petty contribution:
Denethor: emotional abuse on his child (if you can consider Faramir a child)
Boromir: assault and attempted theft.
Frodo: assuming a different identity: Underhill (I don't know exacly how to phrase this)
Sam: broke the law of privacy of every individual, when he was eavesdropping on Frodo and Gandalf's private conversation.

The entire Fellowship: Orcsloughter

Gandalf: Dusterbing the Borlogs and killing wolves without a license

Legolas: Killing wolves, Orcs and other creatures without a license

The whole fellowship: Out of season orc-hunting.
Okay, not that creative, but I've had a long, tiring week!

A cry from the heart! Please don't throw heavy things

JRRT - for unlawful depriving a human being (namely me) of good night's sleep and general peace of mind.
Agree it's not funny, but 3 nights at the computer...

But Pippin was never in Moria....

Bill Ferny: Conspiracy, aiding and abbeting a known felon, fraud, attempted murder, theft, what else?

Of course Pippin was in Moria. The whole Fellowship was in Moria. Go back and read the book or watch the movie.

In the book Pippin dropped a stone into the well, in the movie it was a skeleton.

idiot...why did I see "Moria" and think "Mordor"? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Aha. A very "Pippin" thing to do. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Indeed it is [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Here's a few to keep you going:

Everyone, at some time or another: possession of an offensive weapon with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

Aragorn: Incitement to riot; conduct likely to cause a breach of the peace; assault with a deadly weapon; actual bodily harm; grievous bodily harm; armed robbery (he stole his fleet from the Corsairs of Umbar, and he was armed at the time; this could also be interpreted as an act of piracy)

Gandalf: vagrancy (think about it: there's no evidence that he carried any money and he was of no fixed abode. Come to think of it, he was also a wild-haired, bearded old man who often said odd and disturbing things to people)

Sam: Aggravated assault;
as an accomplice of F. Baggins, esq. kidnap (of one Sméagol, vagrant)

Diamond18 - for breaking the first law of this topic (the LotR rule) oh, wait. S/he is not in LotR her/himself so I guess that makes me a lawbreaker as well, so..

Gayahithwen - for breaking the first law of this topic when accusing Diamond18 (not being a LotR character) for not sticking to said rule. Oh wait, I'm not in LotR either so that makes me a lawbreaker again.. oohh.. I feel like the Headknight of Ni (or 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv') (if you don't know, don't ask)

Åke Ohlmark (the translator of LotR into swedish) - for not being any good at translating (for example, Legolas says 'my children' instead of 'you children' when he, Gimli and Aragorn enters Fangorn (chapter: The White Rider, book: The Two Towers)).. bugger, I'm a lawbreaker again!

That happen to me a lot too and have caused many great confusions to my friends, when telling them that some of my rpg-characters are going to be in Moria, when they actually are going to be in Mordor..

Gandalf - for speaking a forbidden language in a counsel between different races from all over Middle-Earth. (ok, that sucks, but I had to come up with something)

Shelob: for abducting and eating orcs!

I'm a girl, if you'd like to know for sure. Wait! No! Being 18, I'm a woman legally speaking. (And that is what this thread is all about...speaking legally). Uff. My mother would die laughing if she read this...

Anyway, back on topic:

Shelob: Blocking a mountain pass and obstructing traffic.

Gollum: Tresspassing at Henneth Anuin.

Rangers of Ithilien: Poaching an Oliphaunt.

The Haradrim: Operating a large vehicle in a reckless manner. (Oliphaunt again).

[ October 08, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

Sam Gamgee: assault with an apple (Bill Ferny)
Black Riders: breaking in; damage to private property

Grima Wormtongue - for spying and treachery (sp?), treason against the king and being a traitor.
And why did no-one think of that before? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[ October 10, 2002: Message edited by: Alatàriel ]

Saruman-kidnapping/detainment against one's will,
Pippin-B.U.I.(blabbing under the influence)
Boromir-attempted theft, assault
Gollum-sent to mental hospital and intensive therapy until he is cured of his skitzophrenia (is that how you spell it?)
Gandalf-destruction of property (as in all the things he ruined with his fight w/The Balrog in moria),
Frodo-inciting civil disorder

Sam: Trespassing, Aggrivated Assualt, Attempted Murder, and Theft from one Ms. Shelob. (Theft of Frodo - think about it: she caught him fair and square)

Sam again: Espionage, Impersonation (not too sure if this one's against the law), Trespassing, Aggrivated Assualt, Attempted Murder, actual Murder and Burglery from the Orcs of Cirith Ungol.

A friend and I watched the movie Three Fugitives and did this same exact thing with the main character. It was hilarious...that guy broke just about every crime in the books, literally [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Boromir: Treason

When did Boromir commit treason?

Gwaihir and Shadowfax : Speeding

Frodo for disturbing the peace in Bree, disappering, and he will be made to pay money for counselling to all those who saw him disapear.
Arwen

WOOHOO!! That's alot of replies! Anyway Here's some more:

Shelob: Poision and attempted murder

Mouth of Sauron: Cruelty, and attempted destruction of Gondor. (I guess that include his army too.....)

Orks at Baradur: Speaking/Arguing in a forbidden Language, Agravated Murder.

Sam Gamgee: Impersonating an Elf Warrior

QUOTE:_________________________
Galndalf: cruelty to minorities (Pippin
-------------------------------
what the heck? it's MINOR...not "minority"...that would mean Pippin would have to be African or some such thing... [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Grima(wormtongue): Killing an elderly man(Sauroman), but he could plea for insanity.

ROFL! Can't...breathe...must...stop...laughing...hahahah ahahahahahahahaha...you get the idea. Okay, here's a few things I thought of:

Tom Bombadil: Disturbing the peace

The Ents: Loitering (yes, this applies to Merry and Pippin as well)

Merry and/or Pippin: Theft, underage drinking, assault(sp?) and battery, disturbing the peace, possesion and usage of weed, eating "magic mushrooms", public nudity (yeah, yeah, Frodo and Sam get charged with this one as well, and yes I realize that Frodo would get charged with it twice), going AWOL (Pippin), sneaking into the army (can't imagine why anyone would want to really), murder, and all of the charges filed against them during the cleansing of the Shire.

Denethor: Arson, child neglect,and attempted murder.

Aragorn: Picking wildflowers (I know it doesn't seem like a crime, but it is where I live), murder, cruelty to animals (sending Bill away), and jaywalking.

Old Man Willow: Attempted Hobbit-napping, false advertising.

Peter Jackson: Taking a perfectly good manuscript and making terrible errors in the script. (I grudgingly give the man credit for the work he did, it could have been worse!!!!)

[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

Frodo: identity theft

Urak-Hai: Kidknapping

Tom Bambidil: scaring the locals, being uncorruptable, vagrancy, singing disturbingly annoying songs