fortunately we can solve that

Unfortunately, our solving powers had been nullified.

Fortunately, the solution came anyway when Boromir became Alien (from The Downer's Phantom and Alien).

Fortunately, Eru waved his hand, and the world became a nice and happy place.

Unfortunately war broke out.

Fortunately, the war was against Sauron, so it was for a good cause.

Unfortunately, all the hobbits died in the war

Fortunately, it was a simple matter to raise them to life again--plant pipeweed on their graves.

Unfortunately, all the hobits died from lung cancer.

Fortunately, they didn't know about lung cancer back then, and what is unknown doesn't exist. Therefore nobody died.

Unfortunately, smaug ate them all

Fortunately, Bard came along and slew Smaug for them.

Fortunately, Boromir88 took on his role as Wile E. Coyote and came back the next episode in some crazy contraption

Unfortunately, as is usually the case, the contraption backfired and launched him off a cliff.

Fortunately, the cliff was only 5 feet high.

Unfortunately, the cliff was atop an open well in Moria.

fortunately by then all the hobbits were dead

Unfortunately, Boromir88 wasn't a hobbit

Fortunately, the Orcs and Balrog were gone as well.

Unfortunately, they were replaced by dragons.

fortunately: the dragons were kind...

Unfortunately: ...of mean.

fortunately: the race of men killed all the dragons

Unfortunately, this annihilated every man in the world.

Fortunately Dwarves became the rulers of the world, at least underground, that is.

Unfortunately, this left the world above rather barren.

Fortunately this helped the wargs grow in numbers.

Unfortunately for the wargs the elves (in the words of
Boss Tweed) "seen their chances and they took 'em"
by moving back to Middle-earth.

Fortunately (for the wargs), they ate the Elves.

Unfortunately, it caused violent stomach cramps.

Fortunately no wargs were hurt and all the hobbits were dead

Unfortunately the hobbits were already dead so without anything for the Johnny the stinky Grim Balrog Reaper to kill, he went on a rampage in the airport

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...oomba/Zoom.jpg

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran over him. :p

Unfortunately, the sheer number of times Mount Zoom has run over things on this thread caused it to break forever, and be forever useless for running something over.

Fortunately, a GIANT WALNUT fell on Johnny.

Unfortunately, he managed to eat the walnut.

Fortunately, the acid in Johnny's stomach was not enough to harm the walnut, and it grew, and grew, and grew... Until it had split Johnny in two, where from his remains gave enough nourishment for the tree to evolve into a walnut-bearing balrog-reaper-whatever...

~ Telling tales Ka

Unfotunately, the tree was 15 million feet tall, and fell over right on Minas Tirith.

Fortunately Johnny burst from the tree to stop the tree from falling on Minas Tirith

Unfortunately, he stepped in Faramir in the process.