Fortunately, the johnny coat devoured them and made himself renewed

Unfortunately, this was a bad thing.

Fortunately, Eru got fed up and changed the chanel on to Middle-Earth Idol where it was down to the final 6.

Unfortunatley Johnny came and devoured Eru's TV too! :eek:

fortunately, Merry Pippins dropped by and gave Johnny the punishment he deserved.

Unfortunately, the punishment was in fact rewarding him with a cookie.

Fortunately Johnny Loved cookies and he went on his merry way

Unfortunately, Johnny suddenly became allergic to cookies. :rolleyes:

Fortunately, Johnny got some very good allergy medicine.

Unfortunately, it was so good that Johnny just had to have more and more and more and more and more and. . . .

Fortunately, the ODing effect of the allergy medicine only lasted a 4.628 seconds.

Unfortunately, none of this mattered because he still ended upp dieing on the OD.

Fortunately Eru had become so addicted to his TV he reincarnated Johnny and 'commanded' that he give up his TV.

Unfortunately, the TV exploded.

Fortunately Eru picked up an almost new
tv/dvd at the Orthanc firesale after Saruman went out of
business. This was cheap because Elessar decided:
"Everything has to go..." and that his prices were "INSANE!"

Unfortunately the reason Saruman went out of business (besides the 'INSANE' prices) was the quality of products were below the Federal Rohirric Consumer's Commission standards...so long story short the TV Eru got...blew up.

Fortunately, Eru, being omnipotent, just created another one on the spot.

Unfortunately, this one was evil.

Fortunately, it also blew up.

Unfortunately, everyone knows when evil TV's created by the all powerful Eru blow up just creates hundreds of thousands little evil TV's.

Unfortunately, this gave Eru a headache.

Unfortunately, due to the life that is cross-posting, the 'fortunate' that usually follows the 'unfortunate' was entirely skipped over. This proved that Eru's master designs could be broken and he wasn't in control of everything. Knowing this all the Valar and Maiar were tired of being bossed around, so them and all the people's of Middle-earth went into mass rebellion against Eru. Mandos freed Morgoth from the Void and appointed him as the leader. :breathes:

Fortunately, this created a massive time-space continuum paradox that even Einstein couldn't figure out, which started destroying all of Arda. This forced the Valar to restore Eru to power and banish Morgoth to the Void again.

Unfortunately, Eru decided the way to settle all this
confusion was to replace the Music of the Vala
with the best hits of Barry Manilow. :eek:

Fortunately, Barry Manilow doesn't exist in Middle-Earth.

Unfortunately, Eru was the biblical representative of our God and therefor could make any whim of his come true.

Fortunately Eru didn't want Barry Manilow but instead the musical stylings of U2

Unfortunately, this still left Middle-Earth pretty weird.

Fortunately, Frodo still managed to make it to Mordor.

Unfortunately, as soon as he made it into Mordor, he was caught.

Fortunately he was caught by the eagles who decided to fly over Mount Doom at a slow pace enough for frodo to drop the ring in

Unfortunately, they dropped Frodo in as well.

Fortunately, at that exact moment, a Nazgul was flying by (he snuck out to get something to eat) and Frodo landed on him.

Unfortunately, the Nazgul took Frodo (and the Ring) to Sauron.

Fortunately, Aragorn showed up, and Anduril terrified Sauron so much, he fled... leaving behind the Ring.

Unfortunately, Aragorn mistook the ring for a cheerio and ate it.

Fortunately he choked on it and Pippin did the Hei... Hel.... Heilm... Hem... that thing where you press the guy's chest... and Aragorn spat the ring out.

Unfortunately pippins heimlick (spl?) thingie ( :D ) was too good and the ring ended up in a river

Fortunately, it was a unholy river of acid, killing anyone or destroying anything that entered it.

Unfortunately, the Ring was unaffected because it could only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom.
EDIT: My 1337th post! ;)