Fortunately, to us 'out of existence' basically means going to Tim Hortons to pick up coffee for the barrowdowning gang

Unfortunately, Gil forgot that not everyone would know about Tim Horton's as it is a Canadian restaurant.

Fortunately Enough of the canadian Downers knew

Unfortunately the canadian downer population was 3 wights.

Fortunately, the Canadian Downers managed to explain it to the rest of us.

Unfortunately, the ground opened up and swallowed everyone.

Fortunately, as everyone was alreday Wights, nobody noticed. After all, they did live in the ground as it is.

Unfortunately, it happened to be a Balrog's lair.

Fortunately it was Johnny the stinky balrog's lair, and everyone had crumpets and tea and played Twister, trying to beat the 17-time champion... Gil-Galad

Unfortunately (for Gil-Galad, that is), Johnny the Stinky Balrog accidentally sat on Gil-Galad and squished him.

Fortunately, Gil-Galad was very durable.

Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog did not find it comfortable sitting on Gil and so decided to destroy him.

Fortunately, none of this mattered as Gil-Galad was already dead.

Unfortunately, even his Wight form was gone.

Fortunately, Bill and Ted decided to have another
excellent adventure with The Grim Reaper and
brought Gil-Galad back.

Unfortunately, the Grim Reaper touched all of them and they died.

Fortunately Johnny, being invinceible, ate the Grim Reaper and absorbed his powers thus becoming Johnny the Stinky Balrog Grim Reaper

Unfortunately, a small fellow cloaked in grey stood on the bridge, waved his staff, and said "You shall not pass."

Fortunately, this part turned out to happen just like it did in the books: bridge breaks, balrog falls, whips whip which wraps around the small figure and ends up draggin it down with it. :D

Unfortunately, the ground was only about ten feet below the bridge.

Fortunately, this was a good thing for Gandalf.

Unfortunately it was quite deucedly awkward for Roggie, and his eyeliner got badly smudged.

Fortunately there was a makeup store nearby

Unfortunately, the store burned down as Johnny the Stinky Balrog ran by crying his pain after being rejected by a lady Balrog.

Fortunately Johnny the Stinky Balrog cheered up when he
learned that the lady balrog was actually a drag queen.

Unfortunately, this made him feel ill and he was sick all over Gandalf.

Eeeewww.

Fortunately there was a well nearby.

Gross!!

Unfortunately, it was a dry well.

Fortunately, A water beast came from the abyss and filled the well up nicely.

Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog came and dried up the well again.

Fortunately Johnny left and it started raining right as he left

Unfortunately, it was acid rain.

Fortunately, there was a magic filter right under the clouds, which turned the acid rain into normal rain.

Of The History of the Magic Filter drain and the Untold Story of Balin's reclaim of Moria:

The Magic Filter drain was installed by the Dwarves in some year way back a long time ago in Moria. It was encoded with protecting Runes engraved, for some unbeknownst (ya I made it up) reason by Celebrimbor. The inscription on the filter asked 3 randomized questions to a dwarf only and if he said the correct answer the filter was turned on, if not it imploded. After the Balrog had drove the dwarves out of Moria the Magic Filter went into lockdown and shut itself down. When Balin reclaims Moria for the dwarves, he goes to get the Magic Filter back on and running....unfortunately when he was asked the last question 'What is the average wingspan of a bee?' and he replied, 'Do you mean Bumble or Killer?' The filter was totally confused and imploded blowing a giant crater in the ground of what used to be Moria.

Fortunately, in an as yet undiscovered letter by JRRT
he stated that Middle-earth theory would follow a
future concept that would be developed in the late 20th and early
21st centuries that there were many alternate worlds in
higher dimensions, and the Moria destroyed was replaced
by on e of the Durin's (leaving a thank you note) from one
of these alternate worlds.

Unfortunately, the letter fell in the fire.

Fortunately, everyone was magically transported into Mary Poppins where the letter reformed itself.

Unfortunately, the inside of Mary Poppins is not a very nice place.

Fortunately Johnny used his Grim Reaper powers to end Mary Poppins life for the better

Unfortunately, Mary Poppins's cousin Merry Pippins showed up and made the Johnny into a really nice coat.