Fortunately, all orcs do very poor in spelling at school
so they mistakenly only attacked the few effiminate
"Chad" Gondorian soldiers.

Unfortunately, this did not go well with the claim Gondor had just made, said claim being that gays would not be targeted for what they were.

Fortunately, the radical right Gondorian administration that
had ended the "don't ask- don't tell" policy was ousted
due to corruption and replaced with a progressive Gondorian
council, thanks to the wisdom of a returned from the front king
after he was done slapping around some cheeky Easterling
armies.

Unfortunately, the political argument was ended when Mount Zoom ran over everybody in the city.

Fortunately, because Mount Zoom was used so many times in this story, Eru made it vanish from all existance.

Unfortunately, it tormented Eru instead. Not to mention there was still Minas Tirith and Isengard on wheels.

Fortunately for Eru, he got Mount Zoom written
into Lost as a (what else?) deux ex
machina to help the survivors to civilization,
and to keep it from bugging him in Middle-earth.

Unfortunately, Minas Taxi, Barad-Dash, Orth-Tank* and the rest were still at large.


*See my signature

Fortunately the Gondorians of yore made many
speedbumps of orthanc stone, and placed them wisely,
as their seers (ancestors of Malbeth) had predicted
the rise of the machines and their evil plan to
terminate other modes of transportation. :p

Unfortunately, GDOT (Gondor Department of Transportation) decided that the Orthanc speedbumps impeded the flow of wagons and removed them.

Fortunately the GDOT's order, in a typical beureaucratic
move, was superceded by the AEPA (Arnor Environmental
Protection Agency) since removal of the speedbumps
would imperil the endangered Balrog(s?), who needed
to stand on bits of Orthanc Stone to use its
mysterious properties to get enough lift to fly away.

Unfortunately, the King got rid of all these annoying agencies.

Fortunatly, Radagast took all of these hippies to go to Rhun and become friends with the Avari, so the King was safe.
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Unfortunately, Radagast wan't that much of hippie. Sure he loves animals, but he didn't do the hole pipeweed thing. :p

Which was fortunate for Sauruman, because he was on pipeweed, and mistankenly thought Radagast to be the same, so he sent Orthanc to Pimp My Ride and used the new Orth-Tank to hold Ents hostage until Radagast gave him some to compensate for Merry's treachery.
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Unfortunately, The Witch King, driving Minas Morgul... or Minas Mor-go (ha ha ha ha :D ) crashed into Orth-Tank. They had to get the insurance people involved.

Mor-go! Ha!
 

Fortunatly he escaped from the lawyers on his fell beast while Sauruman beat off the lobbyists and such legal matters.
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Unfortunately, the over swelling numbers eventually broke Saruman down.

Fortunately, this meant his reign of terror was temporarily over.

Unfortunately this left the door open for the
great-great-great-(etc.)-grandson of Deagol
to (as he put it) "get his own back" by
being "no more mister nice guy" so he
stole the Ring and enlisted all S-B's
he could find as his followers.

Fortunately, there was only one S-B left, and he was nearly dead.

Unfortunately for some hobbits in the Shire, that
S-B's father and grandfather had secretly had numerous affairs
and many illegitimate (and typically cranky S-B type)
descendants.

Fortunatly after the first two battles in the Shire the hobbits knew what to do, so they organized a hobbit militia to meet the S-B's to fight army to army in the Southfarthing; the local men thought this hilarious and placed bets.
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Unfortunately the betting caused dissension in Gondor
when it was found that Aragorn and Arwen had
placed bets on opposite armies sides.

Fortunately, this provided good entertainment.

Unfortunately Elessar lost a bundle on his wager
and had to give his wife's brothers a mortgage on
Arnor to cover his debts.

Fortunately, the money came from the "kill the children" fund, rendering it bankrupt and thus saving the world for another day.

Unfortunately, with the arrival of credit cards from the South, The Rivendell government began to borrow more than they repaid, so they declared bankrupt, and all the land north of the Isen and west of the Mountains fell into poverty, for many followed the Witch-King's "hot tip" to invest all into Rivendell instead of Disney World.
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Fortunately, WiKi invested in Disney World and became rich beyond his wildest dreams.

With that, the realm of Angmar rose again.

Unfortunately, this wasn't a good thing.

the realm of Angmar 'rose' again
 

Fortunately, the realm of Angmar was raised so high that it went into space and they all suffocated.

Unfortunately, Angmar had it's own gravity and nazgul (as well as super-orcs) didn't need air.

Fortunately for Eriador, who is now suffering under the yoke of Angmar with wings, Glorfindel and Elrond stormed

north to do battle with the Witch King in the new Riven-deisel :D :smokin:
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Unfortunately, Elrond sensed that Aragorn was with Arwen and he quickly left Glorfindel to split them apart.

Glorfindel ran to the top of Angmar and sought battle with the Witch-King. However, he was already out of breath from running up Angmar and combined with no air, he died before he could do anything.

Fortunatly, Riven-deisel and its new 9 miles a gallon tank had totally smahed the armies of Angmar. Although Angmar was in the air, it had no orcs to send to attack.
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Unfortunately, the above was a paradox with the orc armies stuck in the air getting trampled by the armies below who can't reach them.

This caused an explosion that eliminated Middle-Earth.

Fortunatly, that odd rift in space-time not only destroyed Middle Earth, but created a new perverted one, with Melkor in charge, having dwarves work in strawberry fields, elves in sweat shops, and men that could never eat beef. But why was this fortunate? Because Radagast was leading an army to attack Minas Fornost.
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Unfortunately, this was all very confusing and Professor Tolkien had to go and have a little lie down.

Fortunately, he woke up and realised it was all a bad dream.

Unfortunatly, part of his dream was a prophecy that JK Rowling, a descendant of Alatar and Pallando's 'secret magic cults', would start a heretic culture that said that anybody could be a wizard and that cave trolls looked like Shrek. :cool:
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