Fortunately, a giant squid squeezed the water back into the Sea.

Unfortunatly, it was attacked by harpoon-wielding renagades led by none other than Captain Nemo!

Fortunately, Nemo was distracted by the big "butt" that was floating in the surface of the water to continue his attack... ;)

Unfortunately, Nemo was convinced to continue attacking
by a New Zealander who offered to make an epic 3-part
movie of his adventures if Nemo would only toss Gimli
all the way to Aman.

Fortunately for Gimli, Nemo met a horrid end with the piranas. ;)

Unfortunately for Gimli, the piranas were
fanatical devotees of dwarf tossing.

Fortunately, they tossed him onto dry land.

Unfortunately, the dry land the piranas tossed him onto was located in Aman, so Nemo lost his chance at fame, for the piranas got made into an epic, three-part movie instead.

Fortunately, no one went to see the films.

Unfortunately the piranas had already
inked a 26-part cable tv series with HBO.

Fortunately, TVs had been banned and all stations shut down after Gandalf's... *cough*... 'special' broadcasts.

Unfortunately, the 'special' broadcasts still aired in Valinor.

Fortunately, Gandalf was captured and forced to do community service for his crimes.

Unfortunately, rebroadcasts of "Gandalf Raw"
bacame so popular that he was granted a pardon by
the valar (at the request of a curiously benign Manwe).

Fortunately, the Fool of a took still owed Gandalf a favour.

Unfortunately, the fool of a took was "accidentally" ;)
nudged into a deep opening in Moria by Gandalf, and
fell quite some way. :eek:

Fortunately, he landed on the Drummer in the Deep, who happened to be a REALLY fat Orc whose stomach acted as a bouncy castle to smaller Orcs.

Unfortunately, the picture created by
Hookbill's post is DISGUSTING ! :D


P. S. did the silly hobbit bounce back all the way up
or into the Drummer's mouth?

Fortunately, Pippin managed to get back to where Gandalf was.

Unfortunately, Gandalf was shooting his next video, and so Pippin was blinded.

Fortunately, as he stumbled around, he hit a lamp over which burned Gandalf's cloak onto his skin.

Unfortunately, the cloak inspired him to start
singing a hobbit drinking song with Merry.

A Happy Ending
 

Fortunately, they all fell into a deep sleep and forgot that all of this had ever happend.

Unfortunately they all had nightmares because they were so upset that Rune had miraculously reappeared. :eek: ;)

Fortunately, Dr. Sigmund was around to analyse their dreams.

Unfrotunately, everyone was still perplexed at the sudden reapearence of Rune.

Fortunately they could care less

Unfortunately, Gandalf went into a fit of confusion and started throwing things at the Hobbits.

Fortunately, Sigmund's new bodyguards, the nazgul, ran in and beat Gandalf into a coma.

Unfortunately Gandalf's new bodyguards, reformed
uber-orcs on steroids, ran in and beat up the nazgul.

Fortunately, this was all part of some whacked up movie that Eru was watching and just then, he decided to change the channel.

Unfortunately, he changed to the Discovery Channel just as they were showing their segment about mating...



............Eru was blind and mortified .5 seconds later.

Fortunately, he changed again in .4 seconds.

Unfortunately, in those .9 seconds, 9, 000 years of Darkness crept up on Middle-Earth.

Fortunately, the darkness was very faint and no one really noticed... not even Sauron noticed.

Unfortunately, a curious creature named Prode just arrived from K-PAX, and enlightened Sauron in the wonderful use of sunglasses and light travel...


~ Aesthete

Fortunately, Sauron ignored Prode and simply set him (or her) on fire and went back to watching soap operas and plotting.

Unfortunatly he was so engrossed in his soap opera he mistakenly told all his minions to "kill Chet because he was backstabbing on Ashley," and orcs preceded to persecute all Chets in Middle-Earth.
________
Swiss cooking

Fortunately, the Chet he was talking about was in an alternate dimension.

Unfortunately, most of the Gondorian army who were about to attack Mordor were called Chet, so the Orcs had to kill them all. :eek: