Fortuantely, at that very moment Tha Hammer of the Underworld and Belladonna Took fell from the sky and destroyed Glirdan, Gil, Menel and Nilp

Unfortunately Belladonna Took, still ticked
off at having been ejected from The Hobbit
Survivor, formed a feminist alliance with
Shelob, Queen Beruthiel, Rosie Cotton, and
Melian to take over Middle-earth.

Fortunately they all got together and killed Glirdan for trying to enter into thestory, and then they retired to a nice farm in Dunland

Unfortunately, seeing as Glirdan was the narrator of the story, they couldn't really kill him.

Fortunately, this story did not need a narrator so Glirdan was killed anyways and they got annoyed with him trying to prolong his death so they stole his cat and hid it from him

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Sauron reclaimed the Ring and destroyed the Barrow-downs.

Fortunately, none of the Downers were destroyed as they were all off chasing Tom Bombadill and his pet Balrog.

Unfortunately his Pet Balrog was Johnny the Stinky Balrog

Fortunately, Luthien decided it was time to mess with
another of the Valar and sang a song to Manwe which
convinced hime to send Johnny the Stinky Balrog into
the void where he could aggravate Morgoth,
thus proving that women can make a
difference.

Unfortunately Johnny the stinky Balrog and Melkor got along famously. They hung out with each other all the time. But with such close contact to Johnny, Morgoth too began to stink. The stench of the two bosom buddies dancing and partying began to eminate from the void, spilling it's way in to Middle Earth. Proving again that Women always underestimate the "drunken" love two buddies can have for each other.

Fortunately, Tulkas returned from...barbequeing...with Zeus...and smote them each a ringing blow for their combined stinkiness and not-attracing-the-lady...ing...

Unfortunately, because Tulkas was a big brute and his brawns are bigger than his brains (that's right, I'm insulting a Valar :p ), he didn't understand anything that Eonwe said.

Fortunately.
 

. . . Tulkas beat the Void out of Glirdan for insulting him. :p

Unfortunately the organization known as GRA (Glirdanite Rights Activists: Some members include- Melkor, Johnny the Stinky Balrog, Gandalf, and Fingolfin) witnessed Tulkas beating the Void out of Glirdan, and so they beat the void out of Tulkas.

Fortunately
 

Except they couldn't. His sheer coolness denigned any possiblility of even coming close to that.

Unfortunately his coolness (and the ghost following Glirdan around) was causing icicles to form on his beard.

Fortunately, Tulkas decided that beating Glirdan wasn't as fun as beating Nilp. So he changed to beating the Void out of Glirdan to beating the Void out of Nilp.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Nilp was really an anime character from another world, so the punches just passed through him. :smokin:

Fortunately, the anvil that Meneltarmacil dropped on Nilp did affect him.

unfortunatley, it only made him stronger....and madder....

Fortunately, he exploded soon afterward due to a strange time-space continuum thingy.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . the same strange space-time continuum thingy made Morgoth master of the Universe.

Fortunately, this was in an alternate universe where Star Trek and Star Wars combined with Lord of the Rings.

Unfortunately, this whole thread was a nice idea, but
it's gotten quite silly. So I have to ask you to post some sensible, polite,
yet amusing comments. Let's have no more of this
silliness or it may be necessary to put you all in
the COMFY CHAIR where you will stay until it's
tea time! (diabolical laughing ensues).

Sorry for the interruption. Now please continue,
but no more silliness!

Fortunately, Morgoth didn't even know the meaning of the word silly.

Unfortunately, the Spanish Inquisition did,
and they were quick to explain the concept
of silliness to him (this, to a guy who dances
with Johnny the stinky Balrog?).

Wow...that was unexpected. But then...no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Fortunately, (for Tuor) Morgoth turned the silliness police into faithful lieutenants and set them loose in the Barrow-downs to ensure all the ghosts were properly cold and clammy, both physically, and metaphysically.

Unfortunately, The silliness police were all run over by Orthank. Saruman, it seems, had a little too much to drink. Also Minas Tirith was chasing it with a blue light on top.

Fortunately, Mount Doom had had an unfortunate run-in with Caradhras, so Minas Tirith was left to catch Orthanc unhindered while they got their caves back in order.

Unfortunately, Orthank was still running riot! :eek:

Fortunately, Tom Bombadil's house and the Old Forest were sure to slow it down a little.

Unfortunately, Saruman had his lads in training for
the winter Olympics and Orthanc zoomed over TB's
place after going down the ski slope (or whatever
they call it).
Btw, Uruk-hai are really sore losers.

P.S. The editor of The Times says the silliness
quotient is most improved.

Fortunately, large wheeled tower-cars do NOT land gracefully, but they do have lots of momentum.

Unfortunately for Old Man Willow large wheeled tower-cars do have lots of momentum, as he was heard to mutter as it roared over him:
"There's never an ent gone bad around when you really need them."

Fortunatley, for the entire BarrowDowns, this thread arose from its sickly slumber to do battle with its newfound nemisis, The Never Ending Poem. As yet, the outcome remains in the ballance... ;) :D

Unfortunately, The Never Ending Poems had the greater power and smote the Fortunately/Unfortunately thread to the ground.

Let's get back to Middle-Earth, shall we?
 

Fortunately, Frodo and Sam had managed to fight off all the Orcs.

Unfortunately, they had somehow acquired a minstrel. (Think Holy Grail...tee-hee)

Fortunately, in the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat him. And there was much rejoicing. ;)

Unfortunately, Tom Bombadil filled in for the
minstrel, leading the hobbits in a chorus of
"Always look on the bright side of life.",
sinc he was a devoted fan of Eric Idle.