Fortunately . . .
 

. . . the Nazgûl didn't need metabolites (nor metabolism) to survive: they're dead, after all.

This is unfortunate, because they grabbed the Ring from Frodo.

Unfortunately, gralin couldn't tell if Nilpaurion's post was fortunate or unfortunate, so Figwit showed up to declare that the next thing that happens will be fortunate

(sidetrack: does anyone else remember Figwit??)

Fortunately, posters advertising Tom Bombadill’s latest music concert at the Barrow Down’s stadium distracted everyone.

Unfortunately, all Tom sang about was himself.

Fortunately, the venue director threw in a few high light bands, such as: Legolas' Shampoo Bottle, The Starlight Arwens, and the ever popular Frodo's 9th finger, to keep the chrowd occupied long enough so that they were too drunk to care...



~ Aesthete

Unfortunately, among the guests were a large number of teetotallers.

Fortunately, they liked Tom's singing. Well, Tom is the Master.

Unfortunately, it was a public television fundraiser
and TB left in a huff when far more donations
were pledged for the cd (only available during
the fundraiser) "Luthien Tinuviel rocks Beleriand." :cool:

Fortunately, TB was able to nick "Luthien Tinuviel rocks Beleriand" and didn't have to pay anything for it.

Unfortunately, Iluvatar had Manwe set up a
"sting" operation which successfully caught TB.

Fortunately, no one can catch Tom.

Unfortunately, Goldberry was caught as
an unindicted coconspirator and turned
(state's?) evidence against Tom
(hey, just how long can anyone,
even a riverwoman's daughter, take
incessant rhyming when you're
trying to work out a relationship)? :rolleyes:

Fortunately, she only gave evidence pertaining to criminal punniness, which is only a misdemeanor.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Tom was so punny Eru destroyed everything just to get rid of him.

Fortunately Tom was so puny Eru didn't have
to destroy everything to get rid of him.

Oh yeah, and delenta est Chief Warg!

Unfortunately, the Barrow-Downs definitely got squished.

Fortunately, all the BDers had gone to Moria to see if Balrogs really had wings or not.

Unfortunately, when they realized Balrogs had wings, but couldn't fly (they're cousins of dragons. Dragons got more wing and less fire, and Balrogs got more fire but less wings) half of them were so upset they tried to go home to sulk in their barrows, only it wasn't there.

Fortunately, they all decided that balrogs actually do have wings and the BDers who left came back.

Unfortunately, there was forever animostiy between the two groups until the end of the World.

Fortunately, the world had been going on for far too long and Eru decided to re-format it to get rid of all the adwares, viruses and random files that seem to pile up in folders no-one ever looks at. (meaning that the world ended and then started again from scratch)

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . the Ainur started their horrible singing again.

Fortuantely everyone was deaf by the first time and nobody cared

Unfortunately, Varda decided to heal all the deffness.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . Varda can't heal worth Melkor's hymns.

Fortunately Varda commissioned Bobby Darin,
who somehow was spotted hanging out in The
Halls of Waiting, to sing "Beyond the Sea"
as the Ainur sub-theme song pertaining to elves.

Unfortunately, even though this cured all the rest of the people, this rendered Varda deaf for unknown reasons.

Fortunately, seeing as she was a Valar, she didn't really have ears.

Unfortunately, this does not mean that she regained her hearing. She was deaf AND earless.

Fortunately, Varda threw a temper tandrum
and complained to Iluvatar that if elves can
reincarnate then why not Vala, so to keep
peace Iluvatar let her reincarnate so she
could come to her senses.

:p

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Eru choked when he saw Olórin uncloak ( :eek: ), and he died.

Fortunately, Nilp came along (again) and took over and set everything straight.

Unfortunately, it went a bit wrong when Nilp had his feet broken by a random Orc who held a large hammer.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . Nilp's legs were made of some strange gooey substance. He placed his leg back, and beat the Void out of the random Orc.

Unfortunately, 5112 other random orcs saw this and killed Nilp on a very random and orcish manner.

Unfortunately, Meneltarmacil chose that moment to dump exploding rocks on Nilpaurion Felagund.

EDIT: Fortunately, the rocks also crushed the Orcs.

Fortuantely Nilp wasn't that important in this thread anyways, so Menel was domed to wander the Forest of Unpopularity

Unfortunately (Wait, this really should be Fortunately!), Menel imprisoned Gil-Galad in the Cave of Doom before the latter could send him to the Forest of Unpoularity.

Fortuantely Gil-Galad escaped and made Menel wear the Stone of Shame and Shy Leprechauns

Unfortunately, Glirdan walked by just as Gil was about to give Menel the Stone of Shame and Shy Leprechauns and he took it and cast out to sea. The bizzare thing was just as he tossed it out, Nilp arose from the dead.