The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

"These socks were no longer white, which Gandalf saw when stealing them, leaving rainbow replacements, which he hoped would match Saruman's pretty new robes donated by Dulux and smelling of bad breath and rotten cheesy beans. This nauseated Wormtongue, so he bought some flowery airspray from the Gap of Rohan boutique owned by Shirkingbad, Malingerer of Meduseld, keeper of the Bent Sword, Illforged. Illforge was a Follywood plastic prop with keen edge and rubber handgrip, boasting seven kills by toxic poisoning using Esmeralda's recipes on the blade, all of which had a minty aftertaste if you eat the dead without any seasoning, which of course only orcs do.

But then again, so do trolls. And so Wormtongue gave Saruman odoureaters, but Saruman wasn't interested in smelling like a wonderful elven toilet seat, which feels very comfy on the really weary rangers' coarse hairy skin and the Elves' not very coarse cheeks and chins, and of course their soft posteriors, which were very much behind them. And they really couldn't see them for much longer than a second before their friends burst out laughing, which made them quickly cover up what had been a very embarrassing moment of movement.

(It) Now turned into the U-bend, which really did bend the U-turn. Saruman by now, had seen all the Uruk-hai do the tango in floral dresses on the battlefield, so he was slightly concerned, but really he was stricken with sadness and bowel complaints, which he never dealt with properly. But otherwise, he wasn't very normal.

(The) illness which he hoped would soon disappear, but he realized that he had yet to cut his nails and tie his pink glittering shoelaces, which were very long and fluffy, even though they, burned by chemicals, did turn red. His boots though, they were quite heavy for someone his size, but he loved them crushing Wormtongue's fingers, especially when it made him squirm like a worm dipped in chocolaty paste made of nutty almonds, and very funny tasting hot sauce.

Wormtongue would scream at Gothmog because he wanted to eat real chocolate, and then go clean Saruman's boots. But that was just too hard, because they were made of uncleanable and very tasty bubble-gum flavored ectoplasm from Gonder, called Chewin Chewinbar colored neon orange, and disliked by the many people who happened to be named "Egbert", and wanted to see something new in this story. Something exciting and full of death and decay, along with some less exciting bowls of cereal and marshmellows, with honey from melted Sugar Puffs taken from a box on Beorn's living room couch.

He wasn't happy, and Bared himself; was upset too, because he was...."

Hoping someone would.......