A: why, mordor of course.


Q: where can dragons be found in middle-earth?

A: Well, listen. The hobbits don't know it, but the Shire is really a dragon's back.

Q: How extensive is hobbits' knowledge of smoking?

A - Their knowledge is - like - totally far out, man! :smokin:

Q - When did Saurman decide to become the many coloured?

A: After Gríma forgot his collection of crayons in his robes when he did the laundry.

Q: Why did Elfhelm trip over Merry?


@elronds_daughter: :p

A: When he decided that he supported gay rights.

Q: (staying on topic) Why did Saruman feel he needed to create the Uruk-Hai?

A: Because he didn't see the lil' guy :(

A: Because he wanted to have other 'people' around to make himself look more attractive, afterall he wasn't a real looker if ya know what I mean.


Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets?

Q: Do you think that Wargs could have ever been tamed/trained to be used as house pets?

A: Yes they have in the nation of Sharkey Shire and possibly others.

Q: Who was Frodo?

A: Frodo was a figment of Sam's imagination.

Q: Did Ents eat anything besides Ent-draught?

A - Yes... Entwives.

Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language?

Q - Why didn't the Hobbits have their own language?

Because Tolkien knew Elijah Wood wouldn't be able to speak it.

Q - Is Sauron really evil?

A: No, he is simply misunderstood.

Q: Do hobbits celebrate Christmas?

A - No, they can't afford it, what with all the giving of presents on every other day.

Q - When did Gandalf start smoking?

Q: When did Gandalf start smoking?

A: Around the time he started dieting.


Q: How long is Gandalf's nose?

Q: How long is Gandalf's nose?

A - About as long as Frodo's foot.

Q - What did the Mouth of Sauron do when he wasn't harassing Gondorians?

A: He mouthed off.

Q: Is Pippin stupid?

A - No. In his own words: "I'm not stupid! I'm just big boned!"

Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King?

Q - Who was taller, Sauron or The Witch King?
The Witch King. Sauron was actually two hobbits, one standing on the other's shoulders.

Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?

Q -Why didn't Smeagol's grandmother already know how to suck eggses?

A: Because she thought raw eggs were disgusting.

Q: Why did the Witch-King have eyes at Pelennor Fields even though the rest of him was invisible?

He'd just had Laser eye surgery.

Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum?

Q - What did Gandalf hope to do by standing on the Bridge of Kazad Dum?

A - Take advantage of a great photo op for the "Wizards of the Fourth Age" yearbook.

Q -Why did Sauron do his jewelry-making in a volcano?

A: Because the jewelry-making class at his high school was full.

Q: Why couldn't Saruman make a real ring?

A: Because he was always interrupted by phone calls.

Q: Did Sauron think Pippin had the Ring?

A: No. Telling Pippin that "I wil send for it at once" and ordering him to "tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him" was really Sauron's rather odd way of ordering a pizza.

Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive?

Q: Why did Denethor try to burn Faramir alive?

A: Because Faramir was always turning up the thermostat.

Q: How many elves died at Helm's Deep?

A: All of them that showed up with Haldir to fight. You see, little do people know, but PJ's interpretation of Helms Deep was quite accurate. Tolkien simply didn't mention in The Two Towers that there were elves at Helms Deep because it's slightly embarrassing that not a single one of them survived the battle...

Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR?

Q: Why don't we ever see any female orcs in LotR?

A: Because they stayed home and baked manflesh.

Q: What was Gimli's secret name?

A: Cinderella

Q: How do you bake manflesh?

A: With the correct kind of baking pan and special Orcish seasonings too horrible to mention.

Q: Could Fingolfin have killed Morgoth?

A: He could, if he had some anachronistic technology, such as a machine gun or a phaser.

Q: Who was Ondoher?

Q: Who was Ondoher?

A: Doher's pet parrot.

Q: Who is the Witch King's mother?

Lobellia S-B. No wonder the attitude problems!

Q: Why did Saruman mess with The Shire? why didn't he try to loot something better, like Rivendell?

A:Saruman, like many modern corporations, wanted to be in a far-off country, where he could get away with employing small people to do menial work for five cents an hour.

Q:Why does Gollum hate elves?

Q:Why does Gollum hate elves?
Because they overreact to having their wigs pulled off.

Q: Why don't Shire hobbits like boats?

Q: Why Don't Shire Hobbits Like Boats?

A: Because they can't cook anything on them.

Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?

Q: What kind of wine does Tom Bombadil Drink?

A: Young Toby.

Q: Why did Gandalf want to go through the Mines of Moria?

A: It played an extremely annoying melody over and over again that could only be heard by whomever Saruman was aiming his ring at. This kept up until the target either giave in to Saruman's demands or his/her head exploded from sheer annoyance.

Q: Where can I find a duck-billed platypus in Middle-Earth?

They were once rather popular around Middle Earth in the First Age. They liked to hang around Doriath and Lake Helevorn but could be found wherever there was a good supply of water. Yet in later years, Sauron loved them and became jealous of the rest of the world and so brought them all to Mordor. They were an endangered species until the fall of Sauron.

Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years?

Q - How did they manage to keep Gondolin hidden for all those years?
They hid it inside the walls of Bag End (which wasn't built yet, and therefore, impossible to find!)

Q- What was Gothmog, anyway?

A: A cute pink bunny that the Witch King had as a pet.

Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place?

Q: What made Morgoth become evil in the first place?

A: He had bad musical tastes.

Q: Who was Farmer Giles of Ham?