Gandalf: I am the school teacher who gives the trickster a slap on the wrist for being naughty.

Saruman: I am the principal who fires the teacher.

Gandalf: I am the Board of Education who fires the pricipal, the teacher and closes the school.

Saruman: I am the Department of Education, which fires the boardmembers.

Gandalf: "I am the day's coffee break, where most of the Department of Education was, making it impossible for them to fire the boardmembers."

Saruman: I am the broken coffeemaker, forcing everybody back to their offices.

Gandalf: I am the Giant squid that blocks the way to the offices.

Saruman: I am the Sea that swallows the Giant squid and forces it back to where it truly belongs - which is definitely not the way to the offices.

Gandalf: I am where the squid truly belongs; the offices themselves. :p

Saruman: I am the disgruntled worker who firebombs the building.

Gandalf: I am the disgruntled worker's poor aiming that leads to him blowing himself up somehow.

Saruman: I am the disgruntled worker's location inside the building.

Gandalf: I am the mysterious and weird force field of Doom that surrounds the worker.

Saruman: I am the irritating nitpicker who points out that you are repeating yourself. :p ;)

Gandalf: I am the nit the nitpicker can't pick.

Saruman: I am the hair sprey that kills all nits!

Gandalf: I am the near-sighted beautician who accidentally sprays the contents into her customer's face instead of hair.

Gandalf: I am the glasses that give the beautician perfect vision.

Saurman: I am the bully who calls the beautician "four eyes" and stomps on the glasses, breaking the lenses.

Gandalf: I am the life of crime the bully subsequently embarks upon, which ultimately leads to the bully being hanged from the yardarm.

Saruman: I am the government's new scheme that helps the bully out of his life of crime.

Gandalf: I am the iconoclastic psychologist who points out that the scheme doesn't work!

Saruman: I am the government who goes ahead and implements the scheme, which works, thus proving that psychology doesn't work. :p

Gandalf: I am the REVOLUTION which comes in and overthrows the government and gets rid of all their silly-willy namby-pamby mumbo-jumbo and reinstates the yardarm as the primary (indeed, only) form of social correction (along with a heavy emphasis on the use of the hyphen.)

Saruman: I am Hyphenadrous, the three headed monseter the hyphen-obsessed government summons from the pits of hell and which devours the masses.

Gandalf: I am Hyphen-ules, who, with my trusty hyphen, cuts off the heads of Hyphenadrous then burns them off at the neck to make sure they can't come back.

Saruman: I am the heat wave that causes the concrete to melt on the ground, thus causing Hyphen-ules to get stuck to the ground.

Gandalf: I am the government official who decided we should use teflon on all our concrete.

Saruman: I am the metal spatula that gouges the teflon, making it carcinogenic and .... sticky.

Gandalf: I am the flaw in the metal that causes the statue to break.

Saruman: I am the pigeons who relieve themselves on top of the unexplained statue.

Gandalf: I am the wind that blows the pigeons many leagues so that they can...uh... "rain" on Isengard, instead.

Saruman: I am the Force Field of Doom™ that blocks the unwanted "presents."

Gandalf: I am the sub-space anomaly that interferes with the Force Field of Doom™.

Saruman: I am the anti-matter rerouted through Isengard's warp coils to neutralize the sub-space anomaly.

Gandalf: I am Captain Kirk who uses said anti-matter to jump space time continueum and defeat the peoples of Middle-Earth.

I am Dr. Overdale co-inventor of the Travest-o-Meter which has, for some strange reason, just blown itself all to pieces causing a re-boot of this entire thread.

Gandalf: I am the Mighty-throwing-arm-o-matic-of-Doom that flings the Travest-o-Meter into space.

Saruman: I am the overwhelming force of gravity.

Saruman: I am the magic that turns the gravity into gravy.