The Orc who ran over my mailbox and lacked the decency to own up to it.

Little red bitey spiders and other bitey bugs

Crickets in summer in Texas - invading my home in large numbers. Big, black, ugly things - I thought they were roaches!

Parents who yell at you for being a drama queen, then go and do so themselves

I assign the little red roach bugs that were in the bathroom at the swimming pool. They were terribly gross and when I saw them, I ran out of the bathroom half dressed from disgust.

Seconded.... mother of my godson who is totally neurotic and hypochondriac about her own health decided godson was being a drama queen when he complained of pain until she googled and discovered that it was potentially very serious. Fortunately it wasn't since it was one of those things where time is of the essence.

Having your dad take away your keys in a fit of drama. Now I can't leave the damn apartment without permission.

And I also assign google-ing potential health problems. That just leads to paranoia. Just see a doctor.

I assign to the deepest depths of Mordor all primary schools which assume that mothers do not also hold down important jobs and think it's OK to mess us about because we can just drop the duster, hang up the pinny and rush off to school.

Oh yes! Also primary school teachers that think that parents don't work at all and don't bother with knowing anything about their child's work. And teachers who can't deal with a little misbehaviour from children so they phone/email/write a note home about it asking the parents to deal with it - every freaking time it happens!


As you can probably tell, I have one particular teacher in mind...

And also ones which pitch to the lowest common denominator and assume we do not know the importance (or simple pleasure) of reading with our kids! As soon as I start being lectured my hackles go up.

Our local school has promised a home visit to all parents, so I'm hoping they feel stunned into submission by all the books crowding our living room. Or is that a teeny bit evil? :D

As a teacher should I now assign over-involved parents? :p

But no, I am assigning useless landlords. Need something fixing? Better ask a month before it actually breaks if you want it fixed any time before Christmas.

Tell me about it. My landlord is absolutely useless. Also, I used to know just about everybody in the building. But when he became landlord, all the decent people moved out, and a bunch of nutjobs and freaks who have severe mental health problems moved in, and they seriously scare me sometimes. My neighbor keeps yelling about Hitler at three AM. And not in a "he was an @$$hole" way, he's yelling "HI HITLER!". He isn't even saying "Heil", it's seriously, "Hi"

I had a scary, worrying experience there today... However, I did get to have a quick go on a piano. I wasn't permitted to have a go, but I had a go nonetheless.

And I also assign miserable mums who think it's a truly shocking thing that I would see a barely used piano in a school classroom and immediately think of quickly playing some nursery rhymes to entertain my four year old. I guess I'm a bit weird for ladies content to check their phones for texts while waiting (hoh, they haven't even seen the real Lal start yet!), but we did briefly have excellent fun for two minutes so our time at school today wasn't entirely wasted. :D

I'm sorry you had a nasty time Lal, I did see your FB status. Sounds ridiculous! We've got the new R intake in tomorrow and they're definitely going to be having fun! Parents are still being duped though - no way are there going to be 4/5 adults in with their children as is being pretended tomorrow.

YEs but it was only after googling that his mother realised he might need to see a doctor ..she really is demented.. I know the lad did fake appendicitis to get out of ski school a while back but in this case it did seem to be genuine... becasue well I can't imagine it was fun having an icepack applied. :cool:

I assign the severe lack of active people on this site. :(

On my sister's behalf, I assign random guys you barely talk to who ask you out over Facebook, and somehow know where you live...

One does not simply ask a girl out over Facebook.

It will perk up. And yes that sounds deeply creepy.

Quite right, you use facebook for the preperational work, figure out her rutine and interests so you can accedentally run into her and pretend to have a lot in common.

Facebook has made stalking so easy, that it feels like cheating.

This too sounds deeply creepy... and is.

I will now assign this current week. One thing then another...where's Lórien when you need it?

I assign the primacy of sport over culture to Mordor. And Wimbledon specifically. I think I assign it every year. Well then, this year it can go to the Void.

Fuming tonight as a much anticipated and hyped new production of Henry IV Part 1 was shunted around the schedules to make way for tennis. That's Shakespeare. Our national Bard. Eventually, it started an hour later, though even the evening news bulletin was sacrificed, ladies' tennis being more important than the news on a day when a chunk of Russia is drowning and half the UK is also under water (alas, not SW19).

Anyway, it was splendid - I've seen Henry IV Part 1 more than a few times and this was the best yet. And the cast was amazing - Jeremy Irons, Tom Hiddleston (also known as Loki), Julie Walters, Maxine Peake, Harry Lloyd (Viserys Targaryen), Alun Armstrong, his son Joe Armstrong, Michelle Dockery (Lady Mary in Downton), Robert Pugh (Craster)...and an excellent full on, nasty battle scene. Lasses knocking balls about a lawn is better than that? Maybe on Planet Mad in the Galaxy of Insanity :D

Weak tea.

Cheese that doesn't taste like anything.

Idiot neighbors that let off fireworks at 3am, then run out of fireworks and start trying to skeet-shoot beer cans in the pitch dark.

Weak onions.

Hearing "Dawn Hill" when you're expecting the announcement of "Don Mills".

Children with attitude issues.

"No", comming from such children.

women in labor in tv and movies. 'nuff said. ick :p

I should have expected that. :D;)

Rather worse for the women going through it for real :rolleyes: And I say that as someone who went drinking with an Obstetrician at an impressionable age and got put off for life...

Ummm...

My sister and I are never on our Facebooks. In fact, when I actually went on and looked at my information, it said I was still in a relationship with a girl I broke up with two years ago, and it also said I was fifteen... I'm seventeen now!

Sis was only on to talk to her friend because since she (her friend) was away visiting her family in a different state, calling would have been pointless.

I assign getting dumped.

Oh and the sister MCR is talking about is me...

I assign fathers who kick you off of the computer because he needs to do his homework, and then doesn't do his homework.

By the guy who asked you out over Facebook? :p

Ovaltineys.

:p

Hmmm...
 

What shall i assign to Mordor...
Hmmm lets see...

My evil 8 year old sister,
My mother's stupid dog who sleeps on my bed,
All those idiots who don't read Lord of the Rings,
All those idiots who don't watch Lord of the Rings,

Hmmm...
There had better be a lot of space in Mordor...

Welcome, lollipop!

I assign cold feet. It's like, -6 degrees Farenheit in this room.

"I assign Texas summer heat to Mordor. Blech!"

Boy do I agree! Littlemanpoet, where are you in Texas?

Child posts after many a long year? I definitely do not assign that to Mordor. Nice to see you, Child!

Though I should talk. I've been little more than a lurker around here for a while now.

Keep cool out there, you guys!

I assign you admin quitting and deleting her account leaving you to struggle to figure out the html and css as well as fixing everything else that got broken.

LOL, no, by my girlfriend of nearly a year

My dog. I do believe he is possessed.

Welcome to the Downs, White Lady of Rohan. Nice moniker - almost surprised it was still available! :)

Seconded...it is always a joy to see a name that indicates a bone fide fan rather tham a spammer:)

Thirded! Very nice nick, White Lady! :)

WLOR, welcome! Nice name, as stated before. (several times)

I assign your friends having to leave while you're still having fun and haven't gotten bored of them yet. :(