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Fortunatley, Mount Zoom ran over him. :p
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Unfortunatley he made a force field out of fire that saved him.
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Fortunately Johnny's wife showed up and scolded him for spoiling the party.
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Unfortunately, this meant that there were two stinky balrogs at the party.
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Fortunately the hostess found several
anti-stinky-balrog sprays (mountain tunnel fresh) and used them to good effect. |
Unfortunately they also contained aerosol.
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Fortunately, this was an environmentally-friendly type of aerosol.
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Unfortuantley, some roudy Dwarves started a gasoline fight!
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But fortunately, before the fight, there was a run on these
excellent aerosols, which upset Sauron so he left the party and set up a rival aerosol plant in Mordor in conjunction with Frodo and Smeagol- who it turned out had survived his dive into Mount Doom wearing an invisible asbestos suit, the aerosol plant funded by a redevelopment grant by the Better Gondor Business Association and employees aplenty from unemployed Southrons, Easterlings, and ex-slaves. |
Unfortunately . . .
. . . the plant blew up, and Mordor became mountain tunnel fresh.
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Fortunately, it was actually Numenor that blew up.
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Unfortunately the term "blew up" is slightly miss used... as what happened is that it was blown upwards, out of the sea depths. How is this unfortunately, you say? that I do not know... which is quite unfortunate :D
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Fortunately, Mount Doom was left in tact with Sauron, Frodo and Sam alive. They drove over (In Mount Zoom) to Numenor for the party that King Elessar was holding and had a fun time.
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Unfortunately the party took a disquieting turn
when Arwen learned that Elessar had invited his ex (Eowyn) to the party and a scene ensued rivalling the "Cheers" Kelly/Emily fight. Quote:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083399/quotes |
Fortunately both ladies agreed to settle it with a fight to the death, mudwrestling contest, to win Aragorn's heart.
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Unfortunately, the two ladies were shocked
when Belladonna Took and Lobelia S-B demanded to make it a tag-team contest (and while smaller, proved to be both quicker and meaner then Eowyn and Arwen). After all, consider what the S-B really refers to. :eek: :mad: And remember "The umbrella is mightier than the sword!" |
Fortunately the party turned into an all out moshpit, and though Belladona and Lobelia were fast, no one can avoid an all out moshpit.
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Unfortunately, while this was going on, everybody at the party/moshpit was captured by pirates.
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fortunately the pirates in question were Partay pirates
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Unfortunately this writer, who had not a faintest for what a "moshpit" is, was partly cleared by Meneltarmacil, and was able to form a repeat. So: better in the hands of the pirates' than in the hands of a Sackville-Baggins!
But as unfortunately, the next one had posted his unfortunately -message while this one was writing, and the whole stuff had to be turned over. So: Fortunately this writer couldn't undesrtand the main word-pun of this latter writer either... and the crowd were still on the pirate ship, alive and breathing. But: Unfortunately: There was no "part-ay" cabins available, and their reservations were declared worthless. So they would settle with a class D-cabins, under the waterline. |
Fortunately, when the pirate ship turned upside-down, those class-D cabins were quite reversed!
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Unfortunately, by a strange time/movie warp, the
pirate ship became part of the Titanic and the reversed Class-D cabins were kept up all night by Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend using an (ax?) [hey, I didn't watch the movie 16 million times ] trying to stop her boy toy from reaching the seafloor with the Titanic. (This was before she dumped him for the blond movie elf). |
Fortunately, the pirates made her walk the plank.
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Unfortunately, there were sharks waiting for her.
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Fortunately, they were vegan sharks.
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Unfortunately they thought she was a vegetable
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Fortunately, the vegetable they mistook her for was asparagus. And none of them liked asparagus.
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Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog did and ate her
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Fortunately asparagus is one of the most poisonous vegetables known to man.... it tries to warn us with its foul taste yet somehow it seems no one listens!!... I'm rambling, what i meant to say is that the Balrog dropped dead
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Unfortunately, none of this really matters.
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unfortunately she wasn't actually asparagus, only looked like it, so johnny didn't die
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(Also unfortunately, Gil cross-posted with my edit.)
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Fortunately . . .
. . . everyone decided to start over.
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Unfortunately, Sauron and the witch-King got drunk and ran everyone over in the newly wheeled Barad-Dûr.
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Fortunately, Barad-dur wasn't as dangerous as the newly wheeled Orthanc!! :eek:
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Unfortunately, all these wheeled structures ran over Frodo.
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Fortunately, Eru passed a decree eliminating all wheeled cities, towers, and volcanos from Middle Earth.
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Unfortunately, Sauron rebelled against the decree.
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Fortunately, Morgoth, who turned good while thinking his punishment over in the Void, ordered Sauron to do as Eru said.
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Unfortunately, whilst Morgoth turned good in the void, everyone knows that evil is more powerful than good...because the good are bound by a law to do the moral and "good" thing, while evil is not. So, long story short, Sauron smote Morgoth.
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