Fortunately Gimli came out of
his despair when Galadriel
directed him via elf e.s.p. to
use one of the three strands of
hair she had given him to gain
entry to Valinor, where she
had prepared roast meat
and beer for a feast.
(Btw, anybody seen Bill recently?)

thanks for the tip, Tuor...
 

Unfortunately, Bill the pony had eaten all the food by the time Gimli got there.

Fortunately (for Gimli), Gimli ate Bill the Pony.

Unfortunately (for Bill), Gimli
ate Bill the Pony.

Fortunately, (for everybody) Bill the Pony was just a name Gimli had given his mashed potatoes.

Unfortunately, the mashed potatoes had nuts in them, which Gimli was allergic to.

Fortunately, he had an epipen! :D

Unfortunately it was a epipencil,not an epipen. So it did nothing and Gimil swelled up to twice his size,then fell over, then rolled down a nearby hill. :D

Fortunately, Gimli was still in Valinor, so all was well.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Gimli rolled out of Valinor, into Avathar. There, Ungoliant's housekeeper found and ate him.

Fortunately we all know Giant House-keeping spiders don't chew their food they just devour it whole. So, Gimli wasn't dead, just in Ungoliant's House-keeper's belly....

Unfortunately, Gimli was not alone in the belly. There was a Balrog in there too.

Fortunately (for Gimli) a baby Alien was in
there too, and Gimli followed the
Alien as it exited the Balrog's stomach.

Unfortunately the baby alien was too fast for Gimil,and he got lost.He was swimming around in a big open space, when suddenly it began to fill up with a gross smelling fluid, that begain to eat through his boots. :D

Fortunately, Gimli cut his way out with his axe.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . Gimli's axe ran away.

Fortunately, the understudy for Gimli's axe was near at hand.

Unfortunately the balrog's chums decided
to give it a funeral fit for a viking. :eek:

Fortunately, the understudy for Gimli's axe, Mr. Near Athand, battered the Blarog’s chums to within an inch of their life.

Unfortunately, Mr. Hard Reach came to their aid and beat down Mr. Near Athand!

Fortunately 42 tons of mushrooms fell on them (including the dead) and they where never seen again. (This is fortunately for me as I was getting quite annoyed with them)

Unfortunately, Pippin ate the mushrooms before they hit the ground.

Fortunately, they were marshmellows.

Unfortunately, Pippin ate them anyway.

Fortunately, they were acidic marshmallows and burned right through Pippin's head.

(Hookbill, how is that fortunate?!?!)

Unfortunately, Pippin died.

(Erm... I don't know)

Fortunately, the acid Marshmallows fell on the Balrogs and burned them also.

Unfortunately nice Smeagol (who only
wants to help) likes scrumptious acid mushrooms,
(preferably over fish) and while eating them
found the Precious inside one of them.

Fortunately, he found it by swallowing it.

Unfortunately swallowing the ring triggers the self destruct Sauron put in the ring...Now Gollum was like a walking H-bomb.

Fortunately, the best before date on the bomb had long since passed.

1. 500 post!! YES!!
 

Unfortunately, it still exploded when Sam dropped it (he thought it was food, so he took it from Gollum and attempted to eat it)

Fortunately no one cares about sam anymore

Unfortunately, it also blew up Minas Tirith.

Fortunately the Gondorians were looking to renovate Minas Tirith anyway, and the explosion saved them a large amount of work.

Unfortunately, it costed them a great deal of their workers, so infact non work was saved for the individual.

Fortunately, the workers killed were of the
klutsy movie Gondorians, while book Gondorians
(including descendants of the Pillars of the Kings
builders) were spared.

Unfortunately, they were all at war. Being descendants of fighters also means you get the hereditary genes of wanting to fight constantly.

Fortunately, their wives turned out to be
even better builders, and after renovating
Minas Tirith formed the powerful
and long-lived B.A.G.E.N.D. (The Builders
Ancalime Guild Evervigilant Neofeminist Diggers).

Unfortunately, there were no men left to procreate and the race of Gondorians became extinct.