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Advertisement: Why I Kill
I don't want to give any spoilers, but let me tell you my book discusses at least pole axes, bloodbaths, nudity, lions' hunting habits, cooking, and one Pitchwife. Among other things. :smokin:
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Pfft! Everybody knows that week #104 was the best Downer ever. ;)
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The last of the best. Or worst. Whatever you think describes it best...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week229.png http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2.../Week229-1.png Next week your regular news returns! With all-new Phantom and Alien gubbins! Hope it makes you so happy your pants catch fire! |
The evil mayonnaise? I love the evil mayonnaise! :D
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I just looked through the last two pages of this thread, just to catch up on the headlines and see what I missed. It was a very enjoyable read, although I am sure I paid for some adverts. . .?
How is Rune's Quality Beef going to sell our newest product without promotion in the semi-public media?! Have you tried our new lovely tinned beef? "BD-BEEF" - Made of Barrow-Downers for Barrow-Downers! Also. . I am the king! |
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Who is this guy? Advertising in the middle of this forum! Unspeakable! Did someone say...Evil Mayo? |
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week230.png
And now a brand new Phantom and Alien comic. Aint that novel? Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING Although I'm having problems updating the website. I'll try again tomorrow. Ah, many thanks to the infamous the phantom for writing the second story and mini heads for this week and the next few weeks. The more times people do this, the less likely I am to just churn out the complete last dregs of my dissolving creativity. :D |
Go Morgoth GO!
What is it with hats lately? |
So I believe from now on I'll be imagining Doriath as the Olympic rainforest.
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btw, exclamation marks invade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GO Blind Guardian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Q
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And you all thought I was over exuberant and had too many question marks :rolleyes:
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Secondly, I am attending AntarcticaMoot. |
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week231.png
And now Alien's questionable teaching methods grow more... questionable... Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING Thanks again to the phantom and his tireless work making my life a little easier. One day I may give him a pile of gold as reward. Maybe. Probably not. I may, in fact, take some gold from him. Anyway... More P&A next week. |
Ha! I knew Nog and the crew weren't being honest about the US trip! They were so polite about everything, but I could tell they weren't pleased.
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Nog has no sense of humour. I thought that was the best part of the trip. Okay well almost, it was only second to the phantom sleeping a whole night in a bathtub.
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Nobody mentioned my Sherlock Holmes Barrow Wight. :( I was really proud of that 'shop.
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week232.png It's time for a reunion! THE WORST REUNION EVER! Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING We'll all be a lot happier when the Phantom and Alien has it's own TV show and block buster movie. And also has it's own range of action figures, plushies and tea pots. Oh, and pots of EVIL Mayo in memory of Morsul the Dark. |
Random Titles find the eating of vegetables immoral.
This makes me a little curious. Do I seem like more of a case of AIDS or a bladder? My future could depend on it. ;)
Also, I need to find an evil supermarket. I have a recipe for an evil sandwich calling for an evil dab of evil mayonnaise. Is there a directory for such establishments? |
Morsul The Dark Is Dead!?
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Put on your news hats and drag your shoes out of your throat! It's time for this week's downer!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week233.png It's time to see the old duo back at it again! Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING You may notices some odd things in the next few episodes of P&A... That's because I changed my mind about the direction I want to take this series. The same questions will be answered, just in a different way. So, there's one or two episodes coming up that are a bit shoddy, I think, but I can't fix them without completely re-doing them and I don't want to do that because it'll make me cry. |
Oh come on, antennae aren't that scary! They just take a bit to get used to. :p
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So....who'd Alien kill with the ax? |
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(Blood flavoured jelly). |
*throws up*
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Random Titles vote all the time
Will Smaug open up the decision to a vote? If nothing else, it should help his ratings go up. I'm leaning toward "Trogdor" myself.
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You might want to think about getting your face secured, because this news might just make you want to tear it off!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week234.png And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian. Today, we have SQUATTER making an appearance. As well as an old face I hope you all recognise. Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING Crikey! It's all so strange! But is it entertainment? Probably not. The squatter story should get interesting soon. But there's some more P &A focussed episodes. Because, that's unusual in this series. |
Having received permission from our good Sir Hookbill, I present to you a fantastic new weekly feature! (translation: not fantastic, but new and will last a few weeks anyway)
I introduce- Dear Downer. This is your chance to write to the paper and have your questions answered by exciting guest columnists! Now, many of the questions for the early columns I've already prepared, but as weeks roll by I'll start asking for all of you loyal readers to send in questions to be featured in the following week's edition. This week, a double feature! ****************************************** DEAR DOWNER THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- A Wizard That Really Loves Pipeweed Blind Guardian writes- If you were stuck up a tree surrounded by Orcs, what would you do? Wizard answers- I mean honestly, that’s certain death, particularly if there are also wolves present and the tree is on fire, as is often the case. I suppose I’d use the flames to light my pipe, as really what else is there to do but have one final glorious smoke? The real question you’re asking is, what year and leaf type would I want for my final smoke? Really… I can’t decide! GreatElvenWarrior writes- Which race or creature in Middle-Earth do you find the most intruiging? Wizard answers- All groups have their merits of course, so one must look for a truly unique feature. For instance, did you know that Hobbits invented growing and smoking pipeweed as we know it today? Elves invented things too of course. Hmm… you know, I can’t recall ever seeing an Elf smoking. Men to be sure, and a dwarf here and there, but no Elves. Strange. I wonder how Ents feel about smoking- are the leaves their relatives, and we’re burning them? Wait, what was the question? Pitchwife writes- What was it like battling a Balrog? Wizard answers- Well now, that would be a feat! No, no, that was Gandalf who did that- people often confuse me with him for some reason. Wonderful chap, Gandalf. Makes the best smoke rings, and always has some spare Hobbit-grown pipeweed! Never fought a Balrog myself. I’d love to see one! Always wondered about their wings, and if they like to smoke. They are fire creatures, so you’d think they would enjoy smoking. ****************************************** DEAR DOWNER THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- The Phantom fresh off of his stunning Cobbler performance. Morai writes- Why are you back writing again? The paper was better without you. Phantom answers- It’s okay, lad, we all get jealous sometimes. Well, not me, but other people do. We can’t all be best friends with the paper owner, or BW’s arch-nemesis, or the greatest Werewolf performer in the world. Just focus on what you are capable of instead of hating others for their brilliance. For instance, perhaps you could fetch me a soda while I work on my next article? There’s a good boy. We all have our place. Glirdan writes- What’s the toughest thing you’ve ever done? Phantom answers- If you had asked me at an earlier time, then no doubt it would’ve been the time I was forced to kill my twin brother. But now the answer would have to be my Cobbler act on the final day of Mac & Rikae’s game. I had to appear as a Cobbler to the Wolves, appear as a Wolf to the Hunter, and appear as a Seer to the rest. The task looked darn near impossible, but I met the challenge with a level of subtlety, nuance, and charisma never before witnessed on the Downs! Agan writes- Have you considered that your arrogant persona has been pushed to the point that you’re detestable rather than amusing? Phantom answers- I’m not sure what you mean. Are you trying to say you love me and wish to have my babies? Because that’s what I’m hearing. If that is indeed the correct interpretation, I can’t say I blame you. Yesterday I bumped into Jeremy Irons and he pledged his eternal loyalty to me. Stuff like that happens to me all the time. ****************************************** Next week's Dear Downer guest columnist will be- Legate, while visiting Lommy! |
I am planning revenge.......
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Yes phantom, that was a rather intense last Day, one that was pulled off magnificently and to our greatest success. :D
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Random Titles Maintain Gender Neutrality (except in the case of creampuffs)
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Haha! My androgynous user name strikes again! :p Also, I'm not sure you'd want me to fetch you a soda. I make no guarantees as to whether or not I've shaken the can en route to its destination. |
Well, I'd say that makes the response much better in fact, as obviously Phantom can't be bothered to find out such trivial details about you commoners.
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Mmm penguins! :smokin: |
It's time for a news stomach!!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i2...ah/Week235.png And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian. Today, we have a really bad joke. Even by p&a standards... Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the... PHANTOM AND ALIEN COMIC ARCHIVE THING sorry it's a bit late, people. I've been distracted by a strange wizard who keeps eating my chair. I wish he'd stop, but he says he can't or he'll turn into a tadpole again. :( |
We have a brand new "Dear Downer" today! Thank you to everyone who sent in their questions to be answered by this week's guest columnist- Legate!
(Our guest columnist for some reason wanted us to be sure and mention that Lommy is visiting him currently.) ********************** ********************** DEAR DOWNER THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Legate, with Lommy visiting Eomer writes- Do you have any tips for playing the bagpipes? Legate answers- Glad to HELP a friend. I AM an excellent player, BEING a graduate of the Scottish National Conservatory. First, be sure the bag is HELD firmly but gently AGAINST your side. Second, consider, “Is MY chanter properly attached?” But then none of that matters if your instrument isn’t top quality. I have world class pipes myself. Should I die I’ll be sure and leave them to you in my WILL. Kath writes- You and Lommy are so cute together! How long do you see it lasting? Legate answers- Ha ha, yes, we’re quite the pair. She's looking over my shoulder as I answer these as a matter of fact. As far as us lasting- I’m imagine it will last until the end of my life, just as I am sure that all of you reading this will be certain to look over all of my answers extremely carefully, looking for hidden meaning and such. Phantom writes- I was wondering if you had any more pudding jokes. That one Greenie told me was just hysterical. Legate answers- Ah, actually, I think I might have one for you. One time there was a Czech pudding that went over to visit a Finnish éclair intending to inform her that their flavors just didn’t blend very well, but the éclair got mad and captured the pudding and insisted that given enough time he’d see dessert her way. Funny eh? Do you get the joke? Pleeeeease say that you get it! |
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It's funny because I actually was making cookies on Sunday! Ha ha!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...0221011149.jpg (help meeeee) |
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