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Scene: Théoden and Gandalf outside Théodred's tomb...
Gandalf: His spirit is strong, he will find his way to the houses of your forebears... **Hears a knocking from the inside of the tomb*** "Dad!" Théoden: No parent should have to bury their child... Théodred: Im not dead! Will someone get me the hell out of here! Théoden: I can still hear his voice upon the air... (Gandalf and Théoden begin to walk away) Théodred [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] from inside the tomb) Help!... someone, please!... Dad?.. anyone there? HELLLPPPPP! Im not dead! I was just badly wounded!!! I went to sleep for two seconds i swear!... guys?.. bugger.... |
Eowyn is stood in front of Meduseld. Suddenly, Grima 'accidently' drops a handful of coins on the floor and crawls around picking them up while looking uo her skirt.
Grima: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe! Eowyn: *Screams, runs away and bursts into tears* |
Aragorn and Boromir strive away at trying to clear a path in the snow on Caradhras.
Boromir: Uh... Aragorn, I'm tired. And hungry. Aragorn: Look, so am I, but there's nothing else we can do. This is the only way out. (They look up to see Legolas strolling away on top of the snow.) Boromir: Let me at him. Aragorn: No... no. Calm blue ocean.... Legolas: See you later, guys, I'm just going out for a bite of pizza and some Pepsi. Aragorn: Die!!!!! |
this popped into my head for some reason
Moria, The Cave Troll comes in- Boromir:Leggers, we need your bow. Legolas:No, you can't have it, its mine, my preciousss, It came to....waitadarnedminute what the you just call me? Troll: Guys..???? |
Everdawn, that was brilliant! I wish I could be as funny as you.
Eowyn: Where is she? The woman who gave you that jewel? Aragorn: She is sailing to Valinor, with all that is left of her kin. Eowyn: Then...Ummm...She won't care if you make out with me! Right? She won't know! Aragorn: I never thought of that! *they start making out* |
*In Moria, and Legolas is in front of like 20 orks*
*He reaches back for his arrows and finds none* Legolas: AAAHHH!! *runs away while orks shoot arrows and throw daggers* |
(As Theoden chases Grima down the stairs, he trips and falls down the stairs.)
Theoden: *tumble tumble tumble* BONK!!!!! Grima & everyone else: *snicker snicker* |
in TTT when Theoden tries to block the door, but is stabbed in the shoulder, then aragorn comes and asks him how much time he needs...
theoden: Well, actually i have to go to the bathroom, so if you could... |
Why thankyou Elennar
Gimli, Aragron and Legolas in the forest where they encounter Gandlaf the White. There is a blinding light and out of it steps Marilyn Manson. Gimli: Ahhh! Aragorn: Run! Legolas: Melkor! Melkor! SCENE: Council of Elrond. Elrond has just given his first speech. Ozzy Osbourne is also in attendance **dont ask** Ozzy: Well this is f$#@%d!, your all f%$#@#g mad! Boromir: And what would a mere... whatever you are... know of this matter? Legolas: This is no mere... whatever he is, He is Ozzy Osbourne, he bit the head off a bat, sure as hell he wont hesitate on you. Ozzy (to legolas): Shut the f@$k up you pointy eared bloody freak! Legolas: But Ozzy! Ozzy: Stands up and walks out** Im gettijng out of here, your all bloody mad! |
Ai Holy Elbereth! You just gave me the greatest mental picture of Ozzy Osbourne as Elrond, instead of Hugo Weaving!!!!! I can just picture it:
Ozzy: You f$$!@^& are the f@$&$#^! Fellowship of the f@$&$#^! Ring!!!!!!! You're all f@$&$#^! crazy! |
Aragorn: If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. You have my sword.
Frodo: Why, thank you!! *reaches for Aragorn's sword* Aragorn:*smacks himself in the head* That's not what I meant! |
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Oh well, I can imagine that! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] |
Ozzy & Marilyn! You guys had me going for 5 full minutes!
Gimli: If anyone were to ask my opinion -which I note they are not- Legolas: *whacks him in the head* Shut up, fool! From FotR book: Lobelia: You don't belong here! You're no Baggins you- you're a Brandybuck! Frodo: And you're a whore! Lobelia: Brandybuck! Frodo: Whore! Lobelia: Brandybuck! Frodo: Whore! [ November 09, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ] |
In moria, in the script room with Balin's tomb..
Aragorn is leaning over the well looking down to see what is inside, Pippin bumps him with Gandalf's staff and sends him flying down into the well, Pippin then carefully turns the arrow in the dead dwarf causing a loud crash, drowning out Aragorn's cry of pain.. Pippin:: that was for the apple... I had more but...i forgot... |
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Ozzy and Marilyn Manson! Teeheehee! That had me going for ages! |
(My muse got back from her coffee break, what can I say? I was inspired.)
After Pippin touches the Dwarf skeleton and it crashes down the well.... Gimli: Oh guys, did I mention my cousin Balin loved pranks? Everyone else: D'oh! (Five minutes later) Pippin: Does that mean I wasn't supposed to push the part that said "Push Me"? |
After racking my brain for a few minutes and bursting a major blood vein in my neck, I came up with a good one.
TTT, Sam and Frodo are taken by faramir. Frodo- We shouldn't be here. Sam- You're right, this never happened in the book, it's all Peter Jackson's fault if we get killed here... And I'm sure my old gaffer would have a thing or two to say about this cinematic indiscrepancy if he were here.... Strange voice- Oh but I am little samwise... Frodo- It can't be.... Sam- Gaffer... Gaffer gamgee- Yes! It is I, gaffer gamgee, and I have a very important message for you, Frodo... Frodo- I don't have to take the ring to mordor? Gaffer Gamgee- No you idiot. I. Am. Your. Father. Frodo- Really? Gaffer Gamgee- No, i'm a fruit bowl. Frodo- Okay then. Gaffer- That was supposed to be sarcasm. Sam- I like fruit Faramir's voice- Who are you two hobbits talking to in that room? Frodo- Nobody. Sam- A fruitbowl. Gaffer Gamgee- *shakes head in disgust* |
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Legolas: "300 against 10000?! They will all die."
Aragorn: "Only if someone betrays us and leads the Uruk-Hai through the back door of this fortress." *common footsoldier sneaks out of the room* Footsoldier to Uruks: "That's right, just go through the back door on the Western side..." (We've been studying the ancient Greeks in History class. The battle of Helm's Deep is similar to the battle at the pass of Thermopylae where 300 Spartans defended the pass from the Persian army until they were betrayed.) [ November 12, 2003: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ] |
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In the shire when Gandalf walks up to Bilbo's house, he tries to open the gate but it is closed and it catches him by suprise and he falls over it!
hehe it was funny when i thought of it.... -firneldiel |
At the Council of Elrond
*Sam bursts from the bush. Suddenly, everybody at the meeting scrabbles around, hiding. Aragorn is behind a bench, Frodo holds a plant in front of his face, Gimli stands behind a pillar, etc.* Sam: Nope, they're not here! *Runs away again. Everybody emerges and carries on the meeting* |
Leggers! *dies of laughter*
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Saruman: The Nine are abroad again.
Gandalf: Realy? I bet they've gone somewhere nice and warm, probably Tenerife on their salary. |
**In the mines of Moria, right after Pippin knocked the skeleton down the hole**
Gandalf: You Fool of a Took! Pippin: Sorry. Gandalf: Why don't you throw yourself in next time? Pippin: sorry **the drums start sounding** Pippin: sorry Gandalf: Allright already! Stop saying sorry! Pippin: sorry..er, sor... I mean, um, oh, nevermind. |
At Bag End. Gandalf is talking to Frodo when he hears Sam's ruckus outside.
*pulls him out of the bush* Gandalf: Confound it, Samwise Gamgee, have you been eavesdropping again? Sam: *looking at the floor* I- Gandalf: Look at me when I'm speaking to you! Sam: *looks up* Well, I- Gandalf: What are you looking at? Sam: *trying desperately to get out his line* Iain'tbeendroppingnoeavessirpromise! Gandalf: Are you trying... to be funny? *Frodo has been sidling up to the door, trying to get out* Gandalf: (without taking his eyes off Sam, points his staff straight at Frodo) Sit. Down. Eeek! Scary Gandalf! |
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*throws himself in.*** |
Ozzy as Elrond...that's a f@$^#%& good one!
Can't think of anything right now...sorry. Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] ->banakil on mumakil |
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Pippin: Hello crazy twist! |
This one's been bothering me for a while...
Arwen: Go to sleep... Aragorn: I am asleep. Arwen(approaches Aragorn): Liar... Waitaminute...what's that supposed to mean? Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] ->banakil on mumakil |
Gollum is trying to catch a fish in the river, the fish keeps getting away. It smacks him in the face with it's tail, knocks him backwards, and finally escapes.
Frodo and Sam catch up and see what a mess Gollum is. Sam: What have you been up to, stinker? Gollum: Fissh happensss, precioussss, fissh happensss. |
Right after Boromir's 'death' scene:
*Aragorn leans over to kiss Boromir's forehead* Boromir: *jumps and yells* BOO!! *Viggo is scared half to death* (BTW-Elennar, I love your new sig! It would be really funny to say that to somebody sometime and see their reaction [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] ) |
Party scene. The Dragon fireworks was just set off.
http://images.google.com/images?q=tb.../explosion.jpg Sauron: I knew it those fools would set of my "Destroy the Shire" rockets! Hahahahaha! Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] ->Elenrod [ November 18, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ] |
Where Legolas is about to throw the rope down to Aragorn and Gimli form atop the battlements of Helms Deep.
(Instead spreads his arms wide) Legolas: I am a golden guy! Aragorn: What? Legolas: I dig music!... And im on drugs! **uruk hai cheer!** Legolas jumps into the crowd of urks and is killed. Aragorn: Looney.! (ok i watched almost famous yesterday, and that part is really funny.) Aragron fighting Lhurtz Aragron: Let me pass, as King of Gondor! Lhurtz: I move for no man! Aragorn: SO be it... Aragron severs lHURTZ'S ARM.. Lhurtz: Tis just a scratch. Aragorn: A scratch, your arm's off! Lhurtz: No it isnt. Aragorn: (points ot arm on the ground) Whats that then? L: Ive had worse. A: Youre a liar L: come on you pansy! Aragorn cuts off Lhurtz' other arm. Your other arm's off! L: What! just a flesh wound! Aragron chops his leg off... L: ill do you for that! A: youll what? L: come here! A: What are you going to do?? Bleed on me? L: I am invincible! A: Your a looney... L: Lhurtz always triumphs. Have at you! Aragorn takes his last remaining leg off. L: Allright, we'll call it a draw. (The HOly Grail.. couldnt resist.. someone's probably already been there thought...) |
Aragorn: Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?
Legolas: the Uruks turned north east. They are taking the hobbits to- oh wait, that's a rabbit. - - - - - - - - Aragorn: Rohan. Home of the horse lords. Legolas: er, Aragorn... that's a picture of the Bahamas. Aragorn: oh, right... *drops the magazine and peers at the ground* aha! Rohan, home of the horse lords! Legolas: if the Rohirrim dwell in a rabbit hole... *Gimli catches up with them and holds out his hand* Gimli: say, Aragorn... isn't this one of your contacts? |
Meela, as always those were cool!
Legolas throws the rope over the wall to Aragorn and Gimli. However, the two of them are bloody and dead when they are pulled over the wall. He looks down at the ground. *Uruk-Kai waves* Uruk-Kai: Oops! Hi Leggers! Hope you don't mine, my aim is off lately! *Legolas waves back* Legolas: You don't have to be nice to me, I'll give you that cheque later! *Walks off* |
The Monty Python spoof fight between Lurtz and Aragorn should end like this:
A: "Right, we'll call it a draw." *walks away* L: "Oh, I see. Running away, eh? Come back here you stinkin' coward; I'll bite your bleedin' legs off!!!" Other than that, it was very good; Monty Python rocks! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] |
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