and unfortunatly pippen had already stolen Sauron's PIN and IP so he knew he would get an extra hard spanking.
________
Magic Flight

Fortunately, all of this was corrected by a plot device involving a lot of duct tape.

hee hee hee hee....that pippin
________
YAMAHA XV535 SPECIFICATIONS

Unfortunately, the duct tape, due to a typing error, became Duck tape and everyone was confused at the quacking.

Fortunately, they were so thrilled by this new way of spelling Duck Tape, that they forgot all about the quacking.

Unfortunately Duck tape eggs were made of plastic and never hatched.... but the Duck Tapes were able to lay dozens of eggs an hour, rapidly covering most of middle earth on a layer of unhatched, plastic Duck Tape eggs.

Fortunately, Gandalf got some normal tape and tied up all the ducks. Now everyone was happy.

Unfortunately the ducks were not quite as happy as everyone else.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . the Great Duck from Beyond the Pond came and tied up everyone else.

(This should be 'unfortunately' . . . )

Unfortunately (for the duck) some duck hunters showed up and shot him.

Fortunately (for everyone else), they could now escape.

Unfortunately, New Years came along and everyone was afraid of the Y2K problem, which was a really bad thing because it caused a total blackout and all the forces of Mordor come out to lay war on Gondor.

Fortunately, the trolls at the front stopped suddenly while everyone was moving rather fast, so they all fell over with a loud CRASH.

Unfortunately, Gondor had just purchased a new Anti-Fell-Beast-Defense-System (AFBDS) which crashed due to Y2K, showing one of the infamous blue screens.

Fortunately, the blue screen was so frightening that it drove all of Mordor's forces off of a cliff, killing them.

Unfortunately, the Gondorians, seeing this, laughed to death.

Fortunately, without the two warring armies, Middle Earth actually became quite a cool place to be at.... somewhat like a big, rather HUGE, Shire.

Unfortunately this didn't work out and Hobbit Gangs emerged, into a grand gang war


East Farthing Dragons Vs. the Buckland Marauders and such

Fortunately, the only one that got hurt during these gang wars was a poodle that got a rather uncool hair cut.

(don't ask me how the poodle became a member of a Hobbit gang)

Unfortunately the poodle took a revenge bite at Pippin who was just walking by

Fortunately, he was walking by a pit of lava and he moved just in time for the poodle to fall into it.

Unfortunately the poodle was the second-coming of The One Ring and as it was destroyed in the pit of lava, the pit blew up and started spreading lava all over the place.

Fortunately, for dramatic effect, the lava went in super slow motion and everyone escaped in time for tea.

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom caught up with them and they were once again in danger of being covered in lava.

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran out of gas and rolled back down the hill where it was destroyed by its own lava.

Unfortunately, none of this mattered because the blue screen caused by the Y2K, which killed both the Gondor and Mordor armies and started Hobbit War Gangs, was also the way Sauron was resurected to his bodily form.

Fortunately, he was only one foot tall.

Unfortunately, in Middle-Earth, the standard for "one foot" is one of Bigfoot's feet.

Fortunately, for the Hobbits in the area, they are all a 'bigfoot' and a toadstool taller than Sauron.

Unfortunately Sauron ate a little cake that read "EAT ME" and is now fifty feet taller than he was!

Fortunately, nobody cared as they were busy waching Gandalfs new and cool uncloacking act.

ick! um... : puking :

Fortunately, East Farthing Dragons were running a racket involving uncloaking wizards and threated to break gandalf's knee-caps!

Unfortunately, to do this, they had to (a) create a lot more wizards and (b) teach them ALL to uncloak. The horror, the horror!

Fortunately, Saruman refused to go along with this and instead turned the East Farthing Dragons into big blobs of chocolate pudding.

Unfortunately, fifty-foot tall Sauron happened to walk by the blobs and decided to eat them (he skipped breakfast). Now, not only was he fifty-feet tall, but he also weighed 500 pounds!!!

But fortunatly that gave him high cholestoral, being an impediment to his power
________
Yamaha xj600

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . cholesterol in an Ainu makes for some very interesting side-effects. Like laser-eyes.

Fortunately, they all had their eyes welded shut.

Unfortunately the lasers were so strong that they started to come out their noses,causing everyone to have a sneezing attack and start burning random holes through things.

Fortunately, they burned holes to other dimensions where everything was good and happy. And the Goodness and happiness spread to everyone and the lazars stopped. Even old Gandalf put his cloak back on and Mount Zoom had a bit of a break from repeatedly running a small orphan over.