Unfortunately, the Black Market was controlled by Sauron, and he created a monopoly squandering all Free Trade, and jacking up the prices on items as high as he wanted.

Fortunately Sauron had a large following at that time and not too many minded the high prices.

Unfortunately, this meant that sauron's black market was actually the white market. hte real black market was being run by none other than the master (this is not so remarkable, as he is a man of singular bad repute.)

Fortunately, Isildur startet a red market wich really confused everybody. . .(this was good somehow)

Unfortunately, the lack of Free Trade cuased a "brain drain" where all the most intelligent folk went off and joined the Red Market, leaving everyong one in the White Market system with out any innovation or enterprenuership, which we all now is necessary for a growing economy, so the economy collapsed, leaving everyone poor, except for the people in the Red Market.

Fortunately, the trickle-down effect took place and the Red Market gave out most of it's money to charities.

Unfortunately most of the money and gold was sent to a charity run by a certain fellow called "Smaug"

Fortunately, Bilbo managed to retreive this money after Smaug was slain.

Unfortunately he gave them all to a swindler named Elrond

Fortunately, Elrond used this money to open up new Rivendels all over ME, making it more beautiful than ever.

Unfortunately, it was all in his head. He was put into and insane asylum because of it.

Fortunately; over time everyone grew desensitized over what determines beauty and rebuilt all of Middle Earth into a vast wasteland - with a pink bow in the middle!

Unfortunately common sense came back to Middle Earth all of a sudden and everyone realized that the pink bow didn't look quite right.

Fortunately Legolass stole the pink bow.

Unfortunately Legolas stole all the bows and now the Middle Earth looked empty and bowless

Fortunately, noone liked the bows, anyway.

Unfortunately, Eru did, and we all know that what he says, goes.

Fortunately Eru had already been overthrown by The Ministry of Public Safety

Unfortuantely, (for the Ministry of Public Not-Safety) Tulkas overthrew them, and re-established Eru.

Fortunately ... Legolas' bow addiction bled over into other pretty things such as puppy dogs and teddy bears. And everyone began to have champagne kisses and caviar dreams - just as Eru intended.

Unfortunately, Mandos was sick and tired of Legolas and smote him where he stood.

Fortunately, Mandos was sick and tired of Legolas and smote him where he stood. :p


sorry, couldn't resist!

Unfortunately, this angered Gimli who went on a murderous rampage

Fortunately Manwe smote Gimli too.

Unfortunatley, it was only Movie Legolas that Eru smote. When Book Legolas saw what Eru had done, he shook his hand. Which set Gimli at ease, except for a rather large bruise from Eru's smiting.

Fortunately Eru Smote every movie LOTR related, and thus there was great rejoicing......................................... .....yay

Unfortunatley, during the rejoicing Aragorn broke his leg.

Fortunately, he didn't break his hands and "the hands of the King are hands that heal" (translated by myself) so he quickly healed his leg

Unfortunately Pippin had been mixing up Aragorn's medicines and pultices, so Aragorn ended up dying his leg hair green.

Fortunately (for Aragorn at least) as he was King it became a fashion for men to dye their leg hair green

Unfortunately ---> Gimli grew jealous of Aragorn's green leg hair, and the subsequent elaborate braids it bore, and in a rebellious moment shaved his whole body bare!

Fortunately, Aragorn liked the new look and it soon became a new trend everywhere.

Unfortunately this new fashion spread so quickly that all of a sudden most of Gondor and Rohan was covered by hair.

Fortunately, Orcs could no longer attack, as they could not see what they were doing.

Unfortunately, a sudden outbreak of lice consumed the kingdom.

Fortunately lice grew so big that the people of Rohan were able to ride lice instead of horses, becoming the new lords of the Middle Earth

Unfortunately, the hair grew so thick that everyone had trouble moving- even the Lice Lords of Rohan.

Fortunately, Manwe decided to send a strong wind to blow all the hair away towards Valinor (because it had, at last, become a fashion in the lands of the Valar too)

Unfortunately, this resulted in Manwe choking on a huge hairball.

Fortunately that meant that Yvanna could take his place, which was what she had always secretly desired