Unfortunately, no one was allowed to play Risk anymore, as it was banned for beeing Blasfemic. This was done by the bureaucracy of the minisry of public safty, over witch God and Eru held no power.

Fortunatley, this was the first move in a long planned campaign on the part of the ministry of public safty to ouste Eru and the Valar and set themselves up instead. they moved quickly to complete Phase Two, as it was called in The Master Plan...

Unfortunately they had to scrap the name "The Master Plan" because there had already been so many "Master Plan"s before and everyone was confused. In it's sted the plan was retitled "'How to Keep a Date... for More than a Week!' by I. M. Melkor."

Fortunately everyone killed the author I.M. Melkor because his tips to keep a date for more than a week, didn't work and people couldn't keep a date for more than 5 minutes.

UNfortunately, the ministry of public safety was already in power.

Fortunately, the ministry of public safety turned out to be quite a good figure to be in power

Unfortunately, the match between Eru and God still wasn't settled.

Fortunately, the match was meaningless, because Eru and Gid are the same. :p

Unfortunately the fact that we are making a difference between the two means that Eru had split personality

Fortunately Eru/God had a very wise first-mate who was equally adept in any universe. And with his platonic looks and pointed ears you'd think he was stuffy if it wasn't for the infrequent but timely raised eyebrow!

Unfortunately, this meant that God/Eru was Capt. Kirk, and that puts us all in trouble.

Fortunately, Luke Skywalker graciously agreed to do away with the Kirk/Eru dude, thereby rendering the God-Eru debate meaningless, not to mention cementing the power of the Ministry of Public Non-Safety, as it happened to be re-named.

Unfortunately, Luke Skywalker was to busy to do anything. He was kind of in the middle of a battle where he found out the greatest evil dude of all time was his father. :D

Fortunately, Old Ben was able to step in, which was perfect for the downers, since he was already dead.

Unfortunately, this thread was zapped and destroyed by the Mighty Barrow-wight for getting off track and going into Star Wars fanfiction. And Boromir88 had to start the thread all over...

Unfortunately, Gimli was still hungry from the very beginning of the thread.

Fortunately, no one cared. It was only Gimli after all. :p ;)

Unfortunatley, Gimli did. He started knawing on anything insight, which just happened to be aragorn's leg. :eek:

Fortunately, Aragorn liked it

Unfortunately, Arwen got jealous and called her "Rapids-o-horses" (TM) to drown the dwarf.

Fortunately, everyone knows (except Arwen) that dwarves are buoyant. :p

Unfortunately, because of this knowledge it was high fasion among elves to make ships of dwarves instead of wood.

Fortunatley, the idea was soon given up because the first few floundered because they didn't have anything to hold them together. (meaning:Fortunatley, the idea was soon given up, becuase it became known the dwarves were massing for an assault on the dwarf-boat buiding yards.)

Which one do I choose?

Unfortunately the Elves noticed that they could tie the Dwarves using their own beards. Even the women.

Fortunately
Tying a dwarves beard is a high form of compliment, subservience and skullduggery.

Unfortunately, the dwarves now fell in love with those very complimenting boat builders (off topic but how do you call someone who builds boats in English?)

Fortunately, the boat builders werer all married.

Unfortunately, this cuased the dwarves to become depressed, and as everyone knows, depressed dwarves sink like rocks.

Fortunately the elves used depressed dwarves to build bridges and therefore were able to ride or walk wherever they would have sailed before.

Unfortunately, depressed dwarves may sink like rocks, they actually aren't as hard as rocks, and thus aren't easy to walk on...in truth they are like walking on custard.

Fortunately ... The custard had a strange tapioca scent about it!

Unfortunately, the smell of tapioca makes Elves nauseaous.

Fortunately . , The smell of tapioca makes elves nauseous :p

Unfortunately, Arwen loved Tapioca. Why does she have to be so different!?!? :mad: :(

Fortunately, Arwen being different was part of Eru's will

Unfortunately, the Tapioca exploded and Arwen went insane.

Fortunately, when Arwen became insane she was no longer so different from the other elves.

Unfortunatley, she was: the other elves weren't phsycopatic serial killers... :eek:

Fortunately Arwen would only kill those elves who were sick of life anyway

Unfortunately ... (well I was gonna write about all the elves being sick of life ... nah too obvious) Due to over hunting of the elusive Tapiocalope - the main ingredient in tapioca - they were put on the endangered list. The people then built great monuments to their newly found idol. This caused great strife in small local economies which were dependent on tributes to indigenous characters and not these new fangled statues put up by the Man.

Fortunately, everyone became rich very quickly throught selling Black Market items.