Unfortunately, it was actually The Barrow-Wights head he cut off. Which is the reason he is in this lovely Barrow.

Fortunately, this means Gimli was never in a headlock. He was in fact safe in Rohan having a drinking contest with Legolas. They would have gone to Gondor and let Aragorn join in, but apparently their pubs (they like to call them "Restaurants") are too upclass to allow such a thing.

Unfortunately . . . .

Aragorn - or Charles as he's known at the swank country clubs - got his little finger broken by a clumsy waiter who was just passing by as "Charles" was having a cosmopolitan.

A new begining
 

Fortunately, the waiter was Gollum. Who Aragorn could now kill with out beeing banned from the swank country clubs.

Unfortunately, it was actually Frodo in his Hallowe'en costume.

Fortunately, no one really liked Frodo anyway, so Aragorn -- Charles -- killed him anyway.

Unfortuantley, he was thrown out of the swank country club and wandered middle-earth destitute and poor.

Fortunately Aragorn knew that money did not buy happiness and went on to build a successful career as a professional salsa dancer.

Unfortuantely, he looked in teh mirror one day and freaked himself out so bad he had a heart attack. I mean, come on, he's a SALSA DANCER!!! that would freak anyone out.

Fortunately, he eventually got over teh shock and learned to Disco instead. He later on went and challenged Boromir and won!!! All hail Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor and Disco King!!! :p

Unfortuantely, Boromir was very upset by this defeat and killed Aragorn

Fortunately this meant Boromir was now Disco King again, so all was right with the world.

Unfortunately, having gained a large following on the Barrow Downs, Aragorn lead a large army of Wights against Boromir.

Hey this was my 500th post YAY !
 

Fortunately, the wights decidet that they would rather play Risk

Unfortunately, Gil-Galad also played risk, and he was a grand champion too...

Fortunately everyone agreed on which color pieces they wanted to be.

Unfortunately, Glirdan didn't and he took over Iceland, with Rune and TGWBS of course.

Fortunately . . .

The game was switched to "Aztec Rules Tic-Tac-Toe".

Unfortunatley, nobody knew what that meant, so they switched it back to regular risk rules (and roman numeral pieces too. none of these new-fangled cannons and horses and stuff). and eonwe took over north america first (which everyone knows is the best stragaty).

Fortunately, Eonwe was banned from the game, Rune, Glirdan and TGWBS won. Thus ended the game of Risk.

Unfortunately, the Mighty B-W still controlled Russia and Japan. And we allknow how bad that is.

Fortunately while B-W, Glirdan, Rune, TGWBS, Gil-Galad, and all the other players were assuming stratigic positions on their little wooden risk board and plastic Romantic pieces copius amounts of snackfoods were provided by the newly formed Barrowdowns Health Food commission.

Unafortunately, this was food for living people, something the folk's of the Downs' cannot eat

Fortunately, this did not matter as the witch-king catering deliverd proper Barrow Downs food.

Unfortunately, the witch-king caterer got destroyed once Iceland declared war on Japan. Oh, Iceland won by the way. :p

Fortunately, people from Iceland make even better food than what witch-king caterer had prepared

Unfortunately . ; ' , [ / ]
The native Icelandic cuisine - Hákarl, shark meat that's been buried until it's putrefied; Ram's Testicles pickled in whey & Slátur, sheep innards tied up in sheep's stomach and cooked, were too much for even the stout stomachs of the Barrow Downs.

Fortunately, someone thought to order pizza.

Unfortunately, at the same time another place Gandalf was challenging Gimli Bonsai-Helmet to a game of Ent slaying.

Fortunately, this was all a part of the startagey of Risk. But everyone soon got tired of that.

Unfortunately they had betted quite a big amount of money, so they had to keep on playing because no one wanted to be the first one to forfeit

Fortunatley, Tulkas got angry when eonwe was banned and banged his fist on the table: thus ended that glorious game of risk. Everyone's bets were cancelled and everyone when home happy. and tulkas laughed afterward...

Unfortunately, Manwe banned Tulkas from Valinor.

Fortunately, everyone was so pleased that Tulkas had ended the 'Endless Game' that they all moved away with him. Thus leaving Manwe all alone on Taniquentil, except for the Barrowdowners that were there to comfort him. :D

Unfortunately . . .
The throbbing headache the next morning from the Barrowdowners idea of "comfort" was so acute that Manwe banned an further playing of Risk, Ent slaying and Icelandic cuisine from Arda. And if can find Orome, he'll tell him to quit blowing that confounding horn!

Fortunately, Eru over-ruled Manwe's decry declaring it unconstitutional according to the themes that were established in the making of the world.

Unfortunately, while going through the old archives Eru also found that the BDers were never meant to exist on the first place, much less live in Valinor, therefore he banned them from entering the land of the Valar

Fortunately, this was all just a strategy of Risk. A game inside a game, if you get my meaning.

Unfortunately, that meant that the Valar, the Barrowdowners, and all the people of Middle-Earth were the pieces, and it also means that the players must be Eru and God, who are not the same people. :p ;)

Fortunately; The "powers that be", {-Eru/God- two separate or the same entities} concluded that the only way to get by this impasse was to embrace the fear that is Aztec Rules Tic-TacToe. But in here would lay a problem - who gets to go first?