Saruman: I am the Dragon's hurt feelings which cause it to attack the Balrogs.

Gandalf: I am Johnny the Stinky Balrog who stinks the Dragon away.

Saruman: I am the flock of fireflies who drive the Balrog away.

Gandalf: I am the small village of nice folk to which the Balrog is driven.

Saruman: I am the trio of Werewolves who already terrorize this village, and so force the Balrog to leave.

Gandalf: I am the wily Seer, who dreams of and reveals the Wolves.

Saruman: I am the Cobbler which confuses the Seer.

Gandalf: I am the Wolf who eats the cobbler.

Saruman: I am the bandwagon that leads the village to destruction!

Gandalf: I am the powder post beetles that eat the bandwagon!

(Wanted a break from termites. ;) )

Saruman: I am the deluge that wipes out all life.

Gandalf: I am the, um, stuff that, erm, un-wipes out all life.

Saruman: I am the grammar police who arrest you for that atrocity!

Gandalf: I am the judge that deems you a corrupt law official who is desperate to take advantage of people.

Saruman: I am the jinxed gavel that floats up into the air and whacks the judge on his head.

Gandalf: I am the sheild that blocks the stones.

Saruman: I am the cleaver which cleaved the shields in half and allowed the stones to pass through.

Gandlaf: I am the gravity that makes the gravel/gavel fall to the ground harmlessly.

Saruman: I am the President who fires the judge!

Gandalf: I am the wet gunpowder that fails to ignite in the cannon firing the human cannonball judge.

Saruman: I am the gunship Victory which has 100 cannons, leaving 99 with perfectly working gunpowder!

Gandalf: I am the storm that sinks the ship.

Gandalf: I am Uinen which calms the raging Ossë who created the storm.

Saruman: I am Uinen who cries her head off at the slightest provocation and drowns the world.

Gandalf: I am the emotional calming techniques that teach Uinen to control herself ergo no tears.

Saruman: I am the stick that pokes her until she does.

Gandalf: I am the moron who is trying to be sneaky who steps on the stick, breaking it in half, and alerting everyone to his presence.

Saruman: I am the idiot who ran after the guy trying to sneak and ends up stepping on a rake and getting the handel in the face.

Gandalf: I am the Heatray from War of the worlds that turns the rake to ash.

Saruman: I am GF Handel, who rises out of the rake handle's ashes!

Gandalf: I am the Messiah, which keeps Handel occupied composing me.

Saruman: I am the Doubter, who does not believe in the Messiah.

Gandalf: I am Eru who smotes the Doubter where he stands.

Saruman: I am Eru's mercy, which keeps him from smiting the poor soul.

Gandalf: I am Death, who eventually finds the poor soul anyway.

Saruman: I am the murder trial that occupies Death for three years.

Gandalf: I am the confused jurry that lets Death walk. (Oh, did I forget to mention they got bribed)

Saruman: I am the silverfish that eat the paper money with which they were bribed.

Gandalf: I am the insecticide that kills off the silverfish.

Saruman: I am the super shield of Doom that deflects the insecticide.