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Unfortunately the Witch-king, (Who was really the Barrow-wight.) picked it up.
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Fortunately he was so confused as to his true identity that he threw it away and shimmered off to found a Tolkien discussion website.
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Unfortunatley, Grounds-keeper-Willie found the ring whilst performing his raking of Fangorn duties.
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Fortunately he was mistaken for an Iraqi-fighter jet and was scared off, leaving the ring on a tree stump
(Kudos to that simpson episode) |
Unfortunately, the tree stump was really a very short, very evil ent who picked up the Ring and began to run.
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Fortunately the Ent tripped sending the Ring flying through the air.
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Unfortunately a real Ring-wraith picked it up.
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Fortunately, the ringwraith was stepped on by a Tyrannosaurus rex.
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Unfortunately the T-rex realised it was completely anachronistic and disappeared with a pop, leaving the ringwraith free to take the Ring away.
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Fortunately, as the ring-wraith was being crushed by the T-rex Legolas had gotten the chance to tie the Ring-wraiths shoe laces together making the ring-wraith trip.
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Unfortunately the 7 other Ring-Wraiths (Plus the Barrow-wight masquerading as the Witch-King.) rushed to kill Legolas.
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Fortunately Legolas used his Quiver-of-never-ending-arrows to ward the Ring-Wraiths away
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Unfortunatey Legolas succumbed to the Black Breath.
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Fortunately Aragorn was able to heal him with some Athelas
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Unfortunately the Nazgul+BW pulled all the arrows out of them and sneaked up on Legolas and Aragorn.
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Fortunately they were so embarrassed by the rather-other-emphatic-and-physical-affection Legolas and Aragorn seemed to be displaying that they immediately sloped off home en masse.
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Unfortunately they left behind the Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful
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Fortunatly Gimli knew how to disarm it.
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Unfortunately Gimli was on the other side of the mountain dealing with The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
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Fortunately, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch was already disarmed and he hopped along just in time to deal with the Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful.
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Unfortunately, he was to late.
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Fortunately, The Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful was very small and make a very small explosion that just singed Legolas' hair.
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Unfortunatly Legolas went on a rampage of anger at the sight of his singed hair and pushed Gimli into the river.
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Fortunately, Gimli is a damn good swimmer.
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Unfortunately he suddenly had a large bowling ball strapped to his leg.
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Fortunately, Gimli is a damn good swimmer.
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Unfortunatly he isnt good enough.
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Unfortunately that bowling ball is really heavy!
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Fortunately the bowling ball does not conform to the plot continuum and its unfortunateness counters that everpresent force The Rules, causing it to disappear utterly, leaving Gimli free to show that Dwarves are natural swimmers...
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Unfortunately dwarves aren't natural swimmers.
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Fortunately, while everyone was bickering, he had already got out of the water and was looking for the ring.
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Unfortunately, Gimli and others saw a craban fly off with the ring.
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Fortunately, the others included Gwaihir, who gave chase...
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Unfortuantely they stopped when the New season of Family Guy came on
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Fortunately none of them like Family Guy so they kept going.
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Unfortunately, Gimli hit Legolas' bow as he was attempting to shoot the craban, therfore Gwahir was hit instead!
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Fortunately the escaping creban was mugged by a hyperactive magpie in Elrond's employ.
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Unfortunatly that magpie was so hyperactive he crashed into a tree.
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Fortunately, that tree was Treebeard, and he took the ring.
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Unfortunatly Treebeards hands are so big that the ring slid right between his fingers.
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