Unfortunately the spirit animating Tolkien's body really was a demon.

Fortunately, the demon wasn't all that evil and actually came from the REAL Middle Earth, to tell everyone that it existed, not at all so they would go and find it and release the evil from ME into their own world *shifty eyes*.

Unfortunatley, for this demon guy, tom bombadil was there, and he wasn't devoured by evil squirrles. and he told that demon to head on out, and he had to do it.

Fortunately, this was all going on in a parallel universe, and Tolkien was not really dead and possesed in our own one.

Unfortunately, evil squirrels ran amuck in this universe also!

Fortunately, by doing so, the squrriels stopped an uprising of reticulated playtipi who were bent on destroying all knowledge of fantasy novels, Middle Earth... and kalimari.

Unfortunately, the skwerls decided to make cheese and sausage illegal, which led to armed conflict between them and the hobbits.

Fortunately enough, the hobbits grew some small backbones and rebelled by making sausage out of the opressive squrriels so that they might openly display their dietary-directed upperhand.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . swerl meat causes indigestion.

Fortunately the Minas Tirith pharmacies were overstocked with Pepto Bismol and decided to just hand it out to anyone with indigestion.

Unfortunately, the skwerls had poisoned the Pepto Bismol.

Fortunately, the poison was only deadly to iguanas.

Unfortunately many of the hobbits had pet iguanas and their passsing was detrimental to... said... hobbits.

Fortunately, hobbits had killed all the skerwls by this point. and they were selling the skwerly sausage to the urka-hai adn not even eating it themselves. so the skwerls remained unavenged...

Unfortunately, the Uruk-Hai didn't like the taste of the skwerly sausage, and so they killed all the hobbits.

Fortunately everyone knows Tolkien loved Hobbits and skwerls, so he scrapped everything and started anew..."In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..."

Unfortunately, he starte thinking: What is a hobbit? and never got any further. . .

Fortunately, though he hadn't had as many grammatical lessons, Hilary Tolkien not only answered what a hobbit was, he wrote the books instead of John!

Unforetunaltey, the manuscripts were lost in a huge mailroom. they became the center of a huge urban legend conserning teh lost manuscripts of hilary tolkien. they serfaced a few years ago, but were reportedly lost in a burglery along with an oridginal tolkien manuscript supposedly titled "balrogs do not have wings (im pretty sure)"

Fortunately, Tolkien's spirit came back and rescued them.

Unfortunately, after reading them, he desided he liked his version better and burned them.

The things you can get from watching too much Star Trek...
 

Fortunately, this changed the timeline so that there was no Barrow-Downs, meaning that this thread did not exist, so Tolkien did write everythig he was supposed to. This led to the Barrow-Downs being formed, meaning that this thread existed, so...

Unfortunately
 

...chaos ensued since it is a written law of the universe that "*Star Trek Must Lose."

(Ah, good ol' Grudge Match.)

Fortunately, all laws of the universe are written in disappearing ink!

Unfortunately, the part about Gandalf the grey being uncloaked was written (by Saruman on April fools day) in permanent ink.

Fortunately, Tolkien got rid of this unspeakable horror with some handy white-out.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . he ran out of white out before he can erase 'Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.'

Fortunately, everybody loved Gandalf the Grey uncloaked

Unfortunately, Tolkien's Editors burned it and forced him to start over.

Fortunately it was a very good revision which had nothing at all do to with squirriels, skwerls, Star Trek (though there were several similarities), iguanas, heart attacks, haunting-spirits-of-famous-authors, cannibalism, or sasparilla. Hilary Tolkien did not play any part of the making/publishing process and, furthermore the tittles of his "I"s were replaced by little hearts.

Overall it was well recepted by the public.

Unfortunately, the public all suddenly mysteriously dissappeared, leaving only the critics to comment.

Fortunately, they had all loved the revised Lord of the Rings and gave Mr Tolkien lots of gold.

Unfortunately, the gold was made of chocolate covered with foil.

Fortunatley, Tolkien didn't really mind. as a sensible man, he put chocolate before gold. plus the final revitions of his books were just in, and making him lots of money. plus he could always sell off them movie rights.

Unfortunately... due to the recent upsurge in lawyers fees caused by the recent upswing in squirrel violence; and with regards to iguana poisoning; and further more and so forth with chocolate theft; and yada yada yada with incomprehensible infections - all of the gold was gone!

Fortunately, this was good because it meant one less thing for wars to start.

Unfortunately this meant that America couldn't go back to the gold standard.

Fortunately, the cheese standard was still available.

Unfortunately, for various reasons, cheese does not make a good currency.

Fortunately that frees up cheese to be one of the world's most digested milk product/ favorite sandwich (aka grilled cheese).