Fortunately . . .
 

. . . Vilya melted, since it could not take his horrid odour.

Unfortunately, Morgoth came along and brought Vilya back.

Fortunately, that crazy guy with yellow boots came around and, with a merry grin, relieved Morgoth of the the weight in his pocket.

Unfortunately, this weight was not Vilya, it was, in fact, a bomb Morgoth planned on using on the free peoples of Middle-Earth.

Fortunately, this was a good thing.

Unfortunately, the man in big yellow boots was a member of a special tactics bomb squad and disarmed the bomb.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . all the king's bomb experts, and all the king's SWAT
Disarmed Morgoth's bomb ever again.

Wait, something's wrong with that last verse . . .

Unfortunately, the bomb is made of paper and salt and so doesn’t explode.

Fortunately, while all this about this salt and paper bomb was going on, the guy in yellow boots made of with teh real vilya.

Unfortunately, Morgoth had made off with Mr. Yellow boots' wallet and so he came back.

Fortunately it wasn't Mr Yellow Boot's wallet. It was in fact Morgoths, which Mr Yellow Boots had stolen earlier. Mwahaa!

Unfortunately, it was actually Mr.Yellow Boot's wallet disguised as Morgoth's wallet disguised as Mr. Yellow Boot's wallet. (oh no, déja vu! :rolleyes: )

Fortunately, Mr. Yellow Boots and Morgoth were so confused trying to figure out who's wallet it was and their heads exploded.

Unfortunately, a passing orc found the one vilya, and Mr. Yellow Boot's wallet, and morgoth's wallet. he made off with all three and set up a society dedicated to the empowerment and freedom of orcs everywhere.

Fortunately, he fell through a time warp, accidentally killed his dad before he had met his mom, and thus caused a paradox that made the entire time-space continuum implode.

Unfortunately, Eru decided his book(the events that had just happened) would be terrible so he scrapped it.

Fortunately his original idea came back, with Unicorns and such, and became a hit thus ruling out any of this pesky ring buisness or fighting

Unfortunately, this idear did not sell so he was forced by his publishers too change it back. (with even more fighting and pesky ring buisness)

fortunately, after all teh fighting adn pesky ring business was over and done with, gollum ended up with the one ring again. (don't ask me, that's how the book went. :D )

Unfortunately, Eru himself had trouble figuring out how in the heck Gollum got the Ring in his own book, so he gave it to Denethor.

Fortunately Denethor went crazy and jumped int oMt.Doom, destroying the ring and leaving the Men and the Evil men to fight over the last bottle of Pepto Bismal

Unfortunately Eru trying to find a solution to this War has Radagast the Moth fly in and carry off the last Pepto Bismol bottle...this sparks the entire world to raise the question..."how does a 3 ounce Moth carry off a 2 lb bottle of Pepto Bismol?"

Fortuneatly, elrond put forth that maybe it was carried on a string by two 3 oz moths.

Unfortunately, the Giant Evil Bad Guys That Do Nasty Things Of Doom showed up.

Fortuneatly, Elrond slayed the Giant Evil Bad Guys That Do Nasty Things Of Doom with the Singing and Dancing Sword of Imladris

Unfortunately, the singing and dancing sword went crazy with blood-lust and attack the hand that wielded it.

Fortunately, Morgoth wielded it.

Unfortunately, Morgoth was out of the all too over-looked Band-Aid, and it's fierce friend, Iodine...

~ Aesthete

Fortunately, he was killed and his evil left the world and since no one could remember what the trouble had been about, they all went home for tea and biscuits.

Unfortunately Morgoth's clone, Morgoth II, on Morgoth's death, was released and started causing haddock, i mean, havock once again!

Fortunately, a giant haddock came and stemmed the havoc.

Unfortunately, Morgoth II corrupted the haddock and steamed the havock... Or is that steamed the haddock? Well, anyway, evil entered ME once again

Fortunately, evil was tired of Middle-earth and it moved onto Hogwartz.

Unfortunately, Mr Evil couldn't find Hogwarts. Eru had of course long wiped memory of this "Hogwarts" from the memory of everyone in ME. So Mr Evil returned to serve Morgoth II

Fortunately, instead of turning around and walking away, he turned around and walked into a time machine which brought him into the future where he found this Hogwarts that everyone was speaking of.

ehem that's Unfortunatley, he found it quite boring. Quite below standars, he thought to himslef.

More tea, vicar?
 

So, Fortunately, Mr. Evil thought that he would be good for a change and he destroyed Hogwarts because the small children who were trying to turn him into a newt were rather annoying. Mr. Evil blew it up and returned to the past in his Time Machine and found that Morgoth II was now having tea with Elrond.

Unfortunately, little to Mr. Evil or Morgoth II knowledge, Elrond had laced the tea with Arsenic.

Fortunately, Elrond forgot which cups were laced and chose poorly.

Unfortunately, Elrond's supposed to be one of the good guys, so him being poisoned wasn't the best of news for ME...