Fortunately the Barrow-wights are very reclusive.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . the Barrow-wights got drunk in some pub near Nenuial, and they wreaked havoc on much of Eriador, switching everyone's socks and other such abominable deeds.

Fortunately, the Wights (among their abdominal deeds such as doing everyone's crosswords and eating all the biscuits) did actually beat up the statue and get the Silmarill.

Unfortunately, the statue got RETRIBUTION! (ahemGlirdan)

Fortunately, this RETRIBUTION came in the form of raiding. He lead a band of statues on a campain to lay waste to all the barrow-down and steal all their treasure.

Unfortunately the statues were so large they got stuck inside the barrows and the nefarious wights tickled them mercilessly. Oh, the humanity of it all!

Fortunately, statues are ticklish. :p

Unfortunately, a large foot stomped on everyone and squished them flat.

Just a clarification, that's obviously supposed to be "aren't ticklish." :p

So...
Fortunately the large foot was Eru embodied as Tom Bombadil, as we all know that that's what Tom was. :p

Unfortunately, If Eru is Tom, then he's gone crazy.

Fortunately, everyone is crazy in Middle-Earth, not to mention the Downs. :p

Unfortunately, because Eru was Tom Bombadil, but really wasn't, so the statues were still raiding. after cleaning out the barrows of the wights, they moved on to the grey havens and saked and burned it all to the ground.

Fortunately, the grey havens are right next the the sea, so there was plenty of water to douse the flames.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . 'water' near the Grey Havens was actually 90% pentanol--which Cirdan used to fuel his ships--so the flames grew bigger.

Fortunately Cirdan had been planning a major overhaul of the Grey Havens, so the fire made his plans of turning the Havens into Middle-Earth's premier holiday resort a lot easier.

Unfortunately, it was only him working on it because all the Elves left for Valinor.

fortunately Cirdan was actually Superman

Unfortunately, as Cirdan found out while digging the foundations for his resort, the Grey Havens were situated right on top of the Universe's largest deposit of Kryptonite!

Fortunately that Legolas fan girl found her way back to her own time.

Unfortunately, she got stuck in the time warp, her body still in Middle-Earth and her head in the Jurrasic Era where it got eaten by a tyranous saurus rex.

Fortunately (for her) tyrannosaurs didn't exist until the Cretaceous period and weren't around during the Jurassic. :smokin:

Unfortunately, Allosauruses did live in the Jurassic period and so ate her. :smokin:

Fortunately this was a good thing! Leggy fan all gone!

Unfortunately, after the making of the LOTR movies Legolas can just get another one and another one and a . . .

Fortuately, no one agreed to this because of what happened to the one girl.

Unfortunately they all turned into Figwit fangurls!

Fortunately, Legolas went crazy because of this and shot Figwit.

Unfortunately Legolas was not so attractive as a ghost.

Fortunately Figwit was, so even in death he rubbed it in Legolas' face that he was getting all the fangurls.

Unfortunately, Legolas's spirit didn't go to Mandos's halls. Therefor he stayed behind and haunted Figwit. Figwit eventually got so annoyed he jumped off of Orthanc without a parachute, purposely.

Fortunately the whole thing about the statues going raiding and Superman AKA Cirdan finding the mother-lode of Kryptonite was an imaginary story.

Unfortunately, it's a fact that Gandalf plays bridge on teh weekends with Elrond and Glorfindil.

Fortunately so does the Eye of Sauron, the Mouth of Sauron, Saruman, and the Witch-King.

Unfortunately the bad guys always cheat at bridge, so the good guys have yet to win a game.

Fortunately, anyone who cheats... erm... explodes for no reason.

Unfortunately, the explosion was so weak that it ended up as a burp.

Boots!
 

Fortunately, a burp in the mouth of an Orc is deadly!

Unfortunately, neither Saruman, teh Mouth of Saruon, nor the Witch-King are orcs, so teh burbs really weren't that dangerous after all. but their wicked awesome card tricks are.

Fortunately, they were all bluffs and they know no card tricks.

Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog came by and did know many card tricks