Unfortunately Mt. Zoom was only arrested years later.

Fortunately, charges of running down the suppositly cloaked un-cloaked were not as great in mordor as in else wheres, since everyone, even the orc-swimcloak models found it rather rude to do such a thing during the national Mt. Doom's Cloak-a-Thon where only the best in cloakery can be displayed in enough lava light.

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom/Doom lost a wheel and everyone was thrown to one side and fell into the lava!

Fortunately, they were orcs so it wasn't a bad thing.

Unfortunatly after the orcs went in the lava. Mt. doom or zoom went of a cliff.

Fortunately Mount Zoom was of such dense materials that it landed unhurt at the bottom of the cliffs, bounced once or twice, and in the act of rolling over spilled out the orcs that were stuck in the mire of hardening lava.

Unfortunately, the orcs were not made of such strong stuff as the mountain, and were liquified into a gloopy black puddles.

Fortunatly, they perfered their puddle form, and adapted to their new lifestyle

Unfourtunately, the sun evaporated them.

Fortunately, they rose high above the clouds, and became the first of orc expeditions to the moon to be able to say, "A small step for us, a giant step for villianity", and was called into the future to do talk shows, on which they sparkled wittily.

Unfortunately, this caused everyone to forget about Gondor and the wide-spread virus that was going on there, thus cutting off all medical help.

Fortunately, the virus belonged to a family of rather sneeky but, weak bacterium that split themselves in two at the sight of the might mold warrior - Penicillium Man! With his taste for runny noses, gregarious wounds and the ever satisfying bacterial hide out bust, he lead the people into a new light of excellent hygene and became the warden of The Houses of Healing...


~ Storybook Ka

Unfortunately, the above was just a fever-induced dream a man of Gondor was having at the moment.

Unfortunately, as Penicilin is not mortal, and therefore never dies, the healing warden continues his position to the day he meets Aragorn, and ignores the request for king's weed as he drones on and on about the power of himself. Eowyn dies.

Fortunately, through Gimli's deductions, Eowyn was only mostly dead. Not all dead. " Mostly dead is slightly alive...all dead....well all dead there's only one thing you can do. Go through her pockets and find loose change." Gimli boasts.

Unfortunately, Eomer walked in halfway through Gimli's boasting so all he heard was, "Go through her pockets and find loose change". Understandably he was not too pleased and did what he had been threatening Gimli with since their first meeting - he cut off his head.

Fortunately, for Gimli's ghost, he chopped of also two of his fingers.

Unfortunately, the ghost of Gimli's two fingers insulted a lot of ghosts and they chased him for a million years.

Fourtunately, the ghost fingers got reincarnated.

Unfortunately these reincarnated fingers were reborn as Dwarf jewel thieves.

Fortunately, they weren’t very good at it.

Unfourtunately, they stole the Ruling Ring from Frodo.

Fortunately because they were bad at it Frodo noticed and took it back.

Unfortunately, becuase he took it back, Frodo fell to the power of the Ring. And orcs with slighty effeminate voices and impossibly huge blue-eyes lay waste to the free kingdoms of Middle Earth

Fortunately an Orc threw Frodo into Mt. Doom, thus destroying the One Ring.

Unfourtunately, the fires were out at the time. Sauron didn't pay his heating bill.

Fortunately he paid his Spontaneusly-combusting bill and the fires started up again

Unfortunatlely, frodo had already made good his escape, and was living on the lamb with his faithful servant sam, and a band of desparte hobbit outlaws.

Fortunately hobbit outlaws, are never too be trusted and on the lamb they slew Frodo and Sam in a most disgusting manner. (this apperently was a good thing)

Unfortunately a wolf in sheep's clothing took the Ring.

Fortunately, the Ring got caught in the wool as the wolf tried to exticate himself from the itchy costum, and the wolf couldn't find it.

Unfortunately the Black Beorning found it, ate it, ran into the woods, turned back into Sam, and walked out of the woods

Fortunately, if the one ring could burn Isildur's hand, it could certainly burn the insides of poor black beornings, and it burned a hole right through the beorning and dropped into a mole hole.

Unfortunately, the moles were servants of Sauron.

Fortunately the moles were crushed by Mumakil.

Unfortunately . . .
 

. . . the moles's ghosts (which are bigger than mûmakil) took revenge and crushed the mûmakil. This resulted in an otherworldy inter-species war that spread throughout most of the known world.

Fortunately the war was over in 3 days

Unfortunately those three days were the most destructive in Middle-earth history and everyone was destroyed.

Fortunately, the above statement was only partially true. There were some survivors.

Unfortunately it was all the bad guys