And though the poor tramp was a real slow-poke
By nightfall they were most certainly gone.

But it seemed, by the time he was done
The dark was such that he couldn't see

So he could not see the tiny bee
That sat on his nose and STUNG!

And using his one good lung,
he made a cry heard by all around

While selling England by the pound,
A banker heard the cry and wept

But to the shores of Middle-Earth they kept:
The bee was from a Beorning hive.

Such bees were known in those parts to contrive
a delectable honey spiked with gin

So Sauron did leap with a spin
and dash towards the honey

but the bees did not think him funny
and stung him on his single red eye

It hurt him so bad that he wanted to die
But his ring then spoke up: "Hey, you can't!"

"You see, evil seeds we must plant
In the bee colony. So we may eat...

Hearing these words he turned white as a sheet,
"Eat what!?" he cried out in alarm.

Yet swiftly he got a slap from the palm
Of the elderly Beekeeper, who heard him

And with wavering voice and eyes filled to brim
Asked, "What be you at with my bees?"

"Just admiring the view," Sauron said with a sneeze,
for he was allergic to gin spiked honey.

But the keeper thought it not funny
that he sarcastically spoke of the land

so the keeper reared up and took his stand
and ordered the Dark Lord to pay in gold.

But a Barrow Wight, covered in Mould
Approached, stinking of whiskey and rot

and asked, "Hey Saury buddy, what's that you've got?"
"Beorning gin spiked honey. Want some?"

That Barrow Wight replied, "No, mon."
With a surprising Jamacian accent.

Being annoyed, Sauron poured cement
Upon the bad acting Wight's feet

and as it dried he made runes as neat
as could be, a big eye smack in the middle

And a Vict'ry dance he did (to a fiddle
Played well by the Beekeeper's niece)

And the sheep with woolly fleece
Watched the Wight hop away home

In his new shoes made of stone.
Then the sheep joined in the dance...

with a hop, shimmy, skip, baa, and prance,
and the ruckus woke the man in the moon.

He came down to earth at noon
Yet The Wight was already asleep

So the man threw him into the ocean deep
And stole his new stone shoes

to take to the moon himself to amuse,
but they were too heavy and so he cried

And he cried enough that the birds died,
and they fell down to the ocean into the belly of a whale

Who was then arrested and thrown in jail
For stealing a cake from Elrond's table

To escape he was very unable,
And so he prayed for aid.
:p

But Ulmo said "Hey! I never got paid
Last time, and I'm not helping now."

How now, Brown cow :rolleyes:
Ulmo! Don't be a snob

But as he begged with a sob,
He found Ulmo had already left.

Don't forget to quote the last one... ;)

He pushed, yet the bars did not heft
And all hope began to fade away...


My bad. Sorted.
Thanks ;)

But oh well, what can you say?
He stole, with consequence dire.

But the army of Orcs came with fire
And the prison was flattened a second

But the cost of this was reckoned,
And to pay the orcs stayed behind

But, it seems, still no one would mind
If they marched to Rivendel for a holiday