Perhaps you should throw in draconian professors who demand doctor's notes. :smokin:

The fact that random, err random people decide to talk to me at random .... why this woman decided I needed to be told how to make cheese sauce with creme fraiche I don' t know ... but she told me...four times before I managed to escape... :confused:

Delays at airports. Sitting on the floor surrounded by hundreds of people and feeling hungry enough to eat airport food is not my idea of a good time.

Wellcome back Kath! Hope the trip was bearable.

Agreed. Though unfortunately for you it's spring here - at least in the south. And Kath, you've got to report to me about your trip! :D

*evades the chat skrewl*
I assign ending TV programmes. Now that the BBC miniseries Jane Eyre ended yesterday and Idols (the Finnish version) is going to end this week, will I have to do something more sensible at Tuesday and Thursday evenings? :confused: :D (I normally don't watch TV at all so this period of following two TV shows has been quite extraordinary for me...)
But it's really a pity - especially as the Jane Eyre series was really good...

edit: just logged to LJ... I think there might be report enough!

I belive assigning friendly people with little social skill to be a slight overreaction. . .

(the same goes for lonely people with little social skill)

Uhuh! Even though it was spring there was snow enough and it meant we had gorgeous days which was wonderful for learning to ski and the trips we went on.

But I assign huge piles of washing up. So dull.

Accidentally painting a spider blue. It had a blue head and blue legs. I feel dead guilty. :(

No she was scary and bordering agressive - and having worked with adults with learning difficulties, it takes quite a lot to faze me. And I am very kind and patient with say old ladies who are clearly lonely and am prepared to have little chats in checkouts and on trains etc... but being actually accosted is a bit different... and she went on and on and on...... I really was a bit unnerved

Oh yes, and I also assign the temporary madness which grips hold of people as Easter approaches and the shops are packed. The supermarket is only closed for one day yet people seem to think the apocalypse is upon them and have to fight over the bread. I mistakenly didn't shop online this week and went this morning instead and regretted it as endless people shoved trolleys into me so that I finally snapped and yelled at one offending woman. Alas, the shop assistant behind me thought I was shouting at her and I had to apologise to her so the object of my annoyance didn't even get my sharp tongue.

One more thing to add to the long list of reasons why Easter is my least favourite festival of the year.

And another is Easter present ads. What's that all about then? When I was a kid you got a couple of small chocolate eggs and the 'privilege' of spending four days in a cold caravan in the middle of a muddy Yorkshire field without any TV for entertainment, and a lecture about how you should 'think yourself lucky, I only got a boiled egg for easter when I was a child". Presents?!

Well having given up alcohol for lent I am rather looking forward to it ;) - especially dince it looks like good garden weather.... I rather objected ot Tesco's exhorting me to celebrate Easter since the 4th January - before twelfth night - clearly they can't tell Christmas from Easter :rolleyes:

What do I assign to Mordor?

My sister's dogs.. the boy dog has a habit of urinating on my leg every time that I see him; and the girl dog gets uber anxious and urinates.. everywhere. They also have a fetish for markers.. so they chew them up and run around with random colors across their faces and paws.. (they are white.)

Umm, selfishly angry complainers. My coworkers who are always angry at everything, and thus go around complaining about every little thing all day long. They also feel the need to insult and belittle everyone else, to try and make themselves superior. A person can only hear soo much before they truly go insane.

-Allergies
-People who assume they know everything about you after a single encounter with you
-People who think killing babies is a right
-Graduation invitations that need to be addressed...
-graduation robes
-jobs with co-workers who have a problem with people who smile
-shots (as in injections)
-Friends who get drunk especially those who do it illegally
-People who argue from an emotive position instead of a logical one

The list goes ever on and on.....

I only wish there was something as exciting to look forwards to.

I'm assigning the vague sense of boredom that sets in when TV ads are pushing 'excitement' down your neck when there's no excitement to be had at a very boring time of year. I've already exhausted the traditional possibilities: repaired car, done the garden, done painting, housework, been to B&Q...There's no way I'm venturing anywhere near the cinema or the Peaks this weekend judging by the slavering hordes I've already had the misfortune to encounter. Nowt on t'internet, nowt on TV. I'm now resorting to watching Countdown and seeing if I can make rude words up from the letters Carol puts on the board. I begin to understand why Christmas haters moan so much. I think I will retire to a deckchair in the garden and fill my face with bacon butties and mugs of strong tea to counteract all the chocolate and sugar, before having a nice nap...no doubt to be rudely awoken by someone having a stinking barbecue. It's a poor do when you're excited by the prospect of cooking a roast dinner in three days' time. Moan moan moan...
;)

Had a good laugh at a sign outside a local Anglican church all this winter:

Oh, and what do I assign here?

How about a snow storm that mixed flurries with whiteouts and came with temperatures plummetting below 0 celcius? All the sprouts of early spring blooms are covered.

No fun doing Easter egg searches outside in this weather. :(

I assign all of the stupid little things you have to deal with when your life gets spontaneously rescheduled. Like what do you pack when the weather's been fluctuating between 20 and 70 degrees and you don't know if you'll be home for two days or ten? Or should you just assume you'll be stuck there and have your paycheck sent home? But if you're only there two days and your pay's mailed, it means you have to wait to get paid, and if you're there ten, you miss your finals, but...

It's obnoxious.

And the stupid finger prick when you give blood. I have a black bruise throbbing just under the skin inside my arm due to a complication that meant I couldn't even finish, but my finger hurts! :mad: :(

the Federal Government
United Nations
Internatioal Monetary Fund
ACLU
Amnestsy International
Hollywood

I assign being woken at 6.30 am by your cats running through the house with all the grace of a herd of elephants, screeching with feline rage and then having a proper fight beside my side of the bed. This is even worse seeing as I was fresh out of a nightmare involving next door's rabbits breeding into infinity during a riot by Somali refugees, all to the soundtrack of Phil Collins' worst excuses for 'music'. I had to sit in a darkened living room for a full hour before I could speak. :eek:

No I had not been eating cheese. ;)

I assign both TV's in my house being used by my parents and brother so that I cannot watch Stargate :rolleyes: :eek:

I assign forgetting things that you've promised to do...and then deciding while you're half-asleep to abandon the Plan B you promised yourself you'd do. :(

I assign to Mordor...
 

The second draft to my research paper which is due tomorrow at 8:30am. It's 11:20 and I still have made no progress. Looks like it'll be another all-nighter...

Stupid me and procrastination. Bleh.

I assign being too shy to initiate conversations with people in real life/on IM. It's such a pain, but I can't get over it. :o

I assign my monthly flus
 

Really, before I used to have a flu about three times a year (I think that is normal/good resistance), but since last August I've had a flu every month. (Well, except it skipped last month. Should I be grateful?) Right now I'm snuffering my April flu. *sneezes* Oh, this really sucks...

edit: Omg, I wrote "snuffering" when I should have written "suffering"... anyway, it's so appropriate that I'll let it be... :D

My barking mad insomniac computer-obsessive brother. We've just had him to stay and foolishly put him up in a room with two computers, including Mr Lalaith's pride and joy, a custom-built machine.
He spent his nights "sorting out" the computers, without asking us first.

As a result of which the custom-built one nearly died and is still very ill indeed, Mr L is going to have to take a day off work to sort it out.
Meanwhile my computer annoyingly cleans out every cookie overnight so I have to re-log into everything each morning, my address bar no longer stores my internet history which means I can't get onto my favourite sites quickly, and worst of all I can't cut and paste stuff from net pages which I need to do for research, because of some insane security system he's installed.
"Don't you find the computer so much easier to work on now," he said delightedly.
NOOOOOO I DON'T YOU MEDDLING PRANNET.
He's gone home now. I swear I heard the poor computers cheer as he left.

Mp3-players, for breaking.

Shops, for not selling ordinary CD-players.

I assign First Capital Connect. Along with whoever voted to nationalise the railways. I got to the station 5 minutes early, but their stupid new machines that replaced the perfectly good old ones wouldn't give me a ticket. So I missed my train. Then, when I got the later one, it smelt of burning for the whole journey. And, on top of that, the prices are exorbitant.

Nationalise? Privatise, surely.....

The clue is in the name of the company: First. Also known round these parts as Worst. They are on a par with Virgin for being useless. That train probably was on fire, it happens quite often to me these days. I guess that means I'm assiging Richard Branson again. And the wider First company, the greedy swine.

Whatever bizarre illness I'm suffering from this time. I thought it was just my wisdom teeth playing up again but I don't think all my symptoms can be explained by that.

Also owing people money. I hate it.

People who give u anonymous negative reps especially if they're blank :mad:

Rangers fans (I think I may have placed them here before but meh there are lots of them)

My modem (always turning itself off for short yet irritating periods of time)

English football hooligans or as I like to call them amoeba in replica shirts

Soaps, Coronation Street, Eastenders, Dove, the lot, I can feel my brain melt just watching them

News Corporation, enough said :mad:

The "typo" thread. . .the longer it has been there the less I like it. It seems like it is only there so that people can point fingers at each others!

Maybe it is only because I have always had poor spelling abilities and therefor are very touchy about my spelling.

Er... yeah. Whoops!

Everyone makes mistakes with their spelling, so no need to feel touchy. Though I assign misuse of the typo thread; if you can't make a joke about it, there's no point mentioning it! In this case, it will just offend whoever made the mistake.

You can't deny the greatness of "the guy who be shot" or "the gut who be short" though. :D

Sorry, Rune. :o I didn't think you'd be offended by that.

But I'm sorry I can't take the typo thread too seriously since nowadays about one third of the typos posted there are made by me... :D

I assign boring people who never make typos. ;)

I assign waking up and seeing snow and remembering that this time last year, I was probably sleeping. But a few hours from this time last year, I was definately outside in a skirt and t-shirt, enjoying the beautiful sun...

Confound global warming and the fact that it isn't actually warm!

(Pssst to those talking about the typo thread - we don't usually mention the name of the one who made the mistake; that saves them from feeling put on the spot.)

It's beautiful in Dundee probably thanks to our old friend CO2 :cool:

I assign the frankly bizarre proposal to combat global warming by limiting greenhouse gas output.

"Hey, all these gases we're pumping into the atmosphere are slowly heating the planet up!"

"I've got an idea! Why don't we continue to pump even more of the same gases into the atmosphere, but at a marginally slower rate! That'll beat global warming for sure."

Alas, alas, its probably the best we can do

And I bet we won't do even that... :rolleyes:

People who don't bother doing small but harmless things, especially if that is the reason why they don't do them.

Well, I don't know if Feanor does, but I sure do. One of my greatest fears now come exams time is that I'll be sick enough for it to affect my performance on the exam, but not really sick enough to go to the doctor.

I guess that if you go to the doctor anyway he'll give you a note (though you have to pay for it, which actually makes sense.... discourages getting notes just 'cos)... but I'm not one who particularly enjoys putting more stress on an already overwhelmed system unless it's necessary... and a fever and headache is NOT.