I hate to say it, but I assign our au pair. She is the most helpless and dumb person to have set foot in this house. Not only does she mess everything else up, she also makes my computer crash. And her childlish optimist is the most anoying thing ever... :/ And to think that she went to university and studied psychology... :rolleyes:

Static electricity.

Not only does it give me terriable shocks, it makes my unmanagable hair go everywhere.... :(
________
AIRSOFT PELLETS

I assign Psychology. Less is known about the human mind than the "experts" like us to think.

I can't quite say that I second your assignation (assignment?) but what I do assign is the attempts at studying psychology as if it was an exact science. While there is no doubt that chemical imbalances in our body are somehow associated with our moods and feelings, I resist to believe that something as beautiful as love, or as wonderful as laughter is caused by some or another hormone rampaging around.

I feel that I should argue against that, but after 5 hours of lectures today I'll second the assignment - I never even had time for lunch!

Traitor, Kath! Betrayer of thy mother's kin!

So it falls on me to defend Psychology...

Actually, psychology is incredibly inexact. Any study will have flaws. Usually huge gaping flaws that people can jump on and rip apart in essays. It all seems so futile.

*Throws in towel*

You win, Elempi.

*Elempi bows graciously* My thanks, Tegwubs. ;) I have nothing against Neurology, however; I just wouldn't assign it to the Shire, as it might be overlooked by practical hobbits and get mixed in with the ale and find its way into the latrines behind the Green Dragon of Bywater. :p

People on other forums that post threads before they're done with the first post, but instead of going back and editing the first one, they just start a new thread with exactly the same name.

Days when you'd have been better off not getting out of bed. :(

Especially if it's a Day1...

Sitting down on a warm seat is pretty annoying. Especially toilet seats.

Even weirder though, my sister will be sitting in my Dad's computer chair, and she gets up and I get down, and the seat & mouse are still cool. So I also assign my vampire sister.

Undoubtedly...

I assign to Mordor, or consign to aitch ee double toothpicks, for that matter (it belongs there), the entire U.S. Health system, with all of its ridiculous health insurance red tape, especially when one has to switch coverages, switch doctors, make sure the old doctor and insurance coverer realizes what's going on even though you already told them, such that the new doctor will actually see you for your 3pm appointment. :rolleyes: Grrrrrrrrrrr.... :mad:

The NHS isn't much easier, even though it's free and no insurance companies (who are not amongst my favourite things either) are involved. Try getting a dentist when you move to a new area...and woe betide you ever seek to change your doctor if you are unhappy with them.

I actually assign to Mordor Doctor's Receptionists as they're growing increasingly like little Hitlers these days. You ring up for an appointment and not only do they sigh and bark at you because they've had to actually pick up the phone but they make it as difficult as possible for you to get an appointment. "You can have one three weeks on Thursday. I don't care if you are dying." Then if you want one sooner they ask you what's up with you and get the 'ump when you refuse to tell them and quite rightly point out that they are not the Doctor and as such are not qualified to judge if you are 'sick enough' or not.

This is only one of the receptionists. The rest are quite nice. But that felt good all the same. ;)

I assign backstabbing friends.

My assignment follows the theme of doctors and government bureaucracy...

I assign the bureaucracy of the our government-subsidised CBC, which somehow decided that the last fifteen minutes of Ken Dryden's hockey jersey retirement ceremony ought to run on into Doctor Who's timeslot.

I assign finding out you have to fundraise to get £150, and having no ideas on what to do!

In fact, if anyone does have any ideas please PM me!

I assign "real world math."

Math beyond addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division are completely separate of the "real world" in my mind. When I look at a ladder leaning up against a house, I don't think of taking a derivative. My apologies.

Give me two apples and two oranges and I can tell you how much fruit I have, but....

Five?

Now, I shall assign False Away Messages to Mordor. They are tricksey.

The health insurance system not only belongs in Mordor, but I'm also sure it was invented there too.

By the way, I'd like to point out that this does not assign me to Mordor, since as a future radiologist, I won't be involved with the process of switching doctors. How refreshing. :p

When the one person you thought wouldn't forget when you had made plans not showing up for them. That can go to Mordor and never come back, as far as I'm concerned. :(

In my country we actually call Glasgow Rangers fans 'orcs' so I suppose Mordor would be the best place for them :D

Losing one of a precious pair of earrings when you were trying to put them away safely - A tell-tale butterfly fell out of my jewellery roll as I went to put it away and I can't find the earring - it is tiny ..and my bedroom is in utter chaos - looks like I have been burgled. Althought they are sapphire I don't mind the money so much as that they were my last birthday present from my mother :( So I am praying hard to St Anthony.... in the hope it will surface.

update St Anthony did his stuff - I found my earring!!! So happy :D

I assign to Mordor the sick, twisted, evil freaks who post deeply unpleasant links on your blog comments and do not even have the guts to sign themselves - which tells me how full of malice they really are. May they burn slowly in some especially viscous lava...

:mad:

*note - and don't go looking for said links, for as soon as I spotted them they were gone. Ha. :D

Mice
 

They are distinctly unwelcome in my world, in my dorm, most specifically in my room. I'm controlling my phobic desire to bleach everything I own and move out, but the little monster is wandering. I saw him a couple minutes ago, crawling out from under my bed with his toxic little tail slithering behind him, but then he disappeared under my room mate's desk. It's not cool that I'm paranoid to turn off my light. My day tomorrow starts at 8:00 and doesn't end until somewhere around midnight. I need sleep! :(

Unreliable people and waking two hours too early in vain.

You need a cat... :D Even to borrow one for a few hours would probably do the trick... we got our last cat because of a mouse .... said cat was adorable but couldn't catch a cold ..just had enough wit to follow the thing and then lookat me pathetically as if to say "what do I do now?" ..but the mouse went ... it may have died laughing.... :D

I assign nepotistic bosses. Bosses who although require regular employees to have at least two years experience in their field, be trained in their field (with at least a bachelor's degree) and go through a lengthy interviewing process, but hire their children whose only qualification is the correct genetic material (In their opinion).

Not that I'm speaking from first hand knowledge of course.

Well I have one proven 'mouser', who dealt a fell blow to a poor likkle mousey in my kitchen a while back. However her brother is a little more effete and doesn't care for killing mice - when the deceased mouse's spouse appeared (they always live in pairs, how sweet ;) ) and she was chasing it round the dining room like a maniac, it ran over her brother's paw and he merely lifted his foot up and shook it as if to say "eyuw!".

We have mice in our office.

I send mouse poison to Mordor because it's nasty. Humane traps and/or cats are far better.

I tried humane traps and they didn't work. I'd be sitting at my desk and glance over to see little Jèsus (named thusly so he wouldn't hurt me) meandering out from under my bed, thus proving that monsters do indeed exist under there.

My suitemates convinced me that putting out poison isn't killing them, it's encouraging natural selection; if they're dumb enough to eat poison, they don't really deserve to live.

But what actually worked was a high-frequency sound thingy that plugged into my wall.

Quite frankly, I'd have preferred a cat.

The problem with poison is they eat it, die and then rot somewhere, which causes a right pong! At least if a cat gets a mouse it kills it in one fell swoop, well mine did anyway...and then batted it around wondering why it didn't want to play.

Mind you I felt quite sorry for the poor little thing when it was dead. I suppose the same fear for me would be induced by beetles and cockroaches - eyuw! :eek:

A great biking experience gone awry.

One of the first days above 50 (F) in Michigan, so I get out the bike and go for a nice ride. First major intersection I want to go through (think American traffic directions now), one car wants to turn left onto the street I'm coming out of (still moving mind you) so I decided to turn left myself since she has to wait for oncoming traffic; but there's a car coming from the opposite direction that wants to turn RIGHT onto my street, so I brake and put my foot down, the momentum and braking combination of which, upon impact, throws my left hip out of wherever it's supposed to be at all times. "Ooooghh.... yowtch". Well, I'm not going to let that stop me. I continue for a 3 mile bike ride to the nearest branch of our financial institution, and get a rear flat tire there. Well, at least I'm here at the credit union so I walk my bike to the ATM and get ready to deposit the check .... which my wife has forgotten to sign. Ahem. Well. This is been a completely worthless endeavor. Yay. So I walk my bike back three miles to home, again giving serious consideration to the benefits of the hated mobile phone. And have my wife sign the check. She is not in the least sympathetic, having worked a full 8 hours and not in the mood to apologize. The nerve.

Hip's still giving me problems. Grrrr.

Humane mousetraps are actually nothing of the sort. Unless you check all of them, every few hours, the poor little things die in there of hunger and thirst which is far worse than the short sharp shock of the conventional mousetrap.
I remember my father-in-law, a tender-hearted life-long vegetarian, so mortified to find the tortured emiacted corpses of meeces in the "humane" traps he had overlooked.

Ours is by the Litter tray though, and that's not the kind of thing you tend to leave unchecked for very long, so any wee mices are safe in my humane trap. :eek:

I send to Mordor the evil that is setting the clocks forwards in Spring. I lose an hour! This is unfair! :(

Hear hear! to sending daylight savings time forward leaps to Mordor. They are an insidious evil and should be scrapped. People used to get up with the sun and go to bed with its setting. That's the natural way. It's the way things are in the Shire. I'm sure of it. ;)

Acid reflux. Acid reflux should definitely be sent to Mordor. And ear hair.
Oh, wait... and high cholesterol!

Hmmm... maybe you're all learning a wee bit too much about me...

Assignment thirded! It's a nuisance and I have serious doubts about energy savings since the hour of darkness is just shifted to the morning. I find it more depressing to wake up the extra hour before sunrise. :rolleyes:

On that note, I'll assign waking up before dawn...and then falling asleep shortly after making it home at sunset.

Awkward moments that arise when your room mate has a boyfriend and they didn't expect you back so soon. :eek: :rolleyes:

I assign my inability to learn that I should not roar, scream or in fact try to sing or perform stressful voices when I am trying to recover from a sore throat.

Migraines. Missed classes. And this one professor who is demanding a doctor's note that I don't have because I don't go to doctors, particularly in the middle of the night just because I can't sleep. :(