Accidentally reading a dozen or so pages of this:"Well," seyde Sir Epynogrys, "syth that ye loved La Beall Isode, loved she ever you agayne by onythynge that ye cowde wyte, othir ellys ded ye ever rejoyse her in ony plesure?"

Instead of a dozen or so pages of this:

So it misfortuned Sir Gawain and all his brethren were in King Arthur's chamber, and then Sir Agravain said thus openly, and not in no counsel, that many knights might here...

Well Jeffrey Archer didn't actually go to boarding school - I rather think that was one of the creative amendments to his CV - and my Pa was warned to be wary of Mr Jeffrey Rat when he was in practice in Oxford forty years ago....

Well my state school had the "Bronco" style grease proof paper type paper with "Hampshire County council Now wash your hands " printed on it .... now that was something that belonged in Mordor ..

Well there's two things for Mordor anyway! Jeffrey Archer and Izal toilet paper. Funny how certain things never seem to stick to either.... :D

I'm assigning to Mordor irrational fear of getting pecked by birds. I've been in Bakewell today and was feeding some geese and swans right out of my hands. Um, how can people think they could hurt you when they have spoon shaped beaks? The one of the bigger geese came up and decided he was going to hiss at me for some unknown bird reason, prompting me to stand there saying "go on then, tough guy, let's see what you're made of". He was all mouth. It gave the pensioners watching a laugh anyway. ;)

I'm also assigning Vicki Pollard style shop assistants. Grrrrrr................ :mad:

I assign e-mailing 5 friends you have lost contact with over the last month and not reciving on reply. (it has been a week)

I did get bitten by a goose once, when I was really little...I don't think it hurt much, though. Just the shock...

Anyway, I'd like to assign visual illusions. They're cool, but I had a 3 hour Psych lab on them today, and I came away with a painful headache. :(

I used to gather the eggs from the chickens when I was little, and sometimes you'd get pecked as you put your hand under the hen and into the lovely warm nest to get the egg, but they don't hurt.

And yes, optical delusions as my mother calls 'em. Hmm. I send Magic Eye pictures to Mordor because I can't see the things as I've got astigmatism; I remember being effectively shut out of a whole youth craze many years ago. :(

Leaving your history books in the library, realising too late, running over in a state of dubious habillement and staring at your vitally important tomes through the locked grille...

And I assign learning just now why I could never see those darned things.

Heartily seconded, Farael.

I assign people who (a) call you while they're doing something else and then only really talk to you about that: i.e., I'm playing a video game... I just died... so? Why'd you even call me? and (b) call someone else just to talk while you're at their house (especially when you're the only one). It's incredibly rude.

Also, people who are always out to make a buck out of insurance or some such.

Wait...I have astigmatism, but I could see them. :confused:

I assign people who park their cars blocking the ramp for the disabled. It just makes my blood boil, seeing that.

I assing having confirmed by a reliable source that the cause why I can't see those darned things cannot be credited to something as simple as astigmatism. Thus showing that, once again, it was my fault :p

What'd I do without you Lhunie? good thing I assigned you to Mordor, my current abode, a couple times over a couple things

Rain. :( I have to go out in it to wander aimlessly til I find a Tesco, and then walk back in it carrying heavy bags.

I assign books getting wet. They were in my bag. I was under an umbrella. And they still got soaked. Les Fleurs du Mal, just bought last Friday from Oxford. A library book, L'Etranger. My new writing pad, now 400 pages of blue blobs where margins used to be. Not to mention much of my French folder. Stupid downpours.

Rain? you don't know the meaning of it. ;)

I had to stand outside in the pouring rain today wearing a chiffon top under a thin cardigan while a mechanic from Green Flag tried to jam open the thermostat on my car, as it basically suddenly turned into one big pressure cooker as there was no water going through the engine. Least I could get away without a bath tonight. ;)

I wish to assign my brother for agreeing to work 'til close instead of just 'til midnight. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't the only person who could drive my stick-shift OR if we all hadn't gotten up early to go to breakfast OR if I wasn't tired enough to cry OR if he had asked me. BLAH!

I also assign being too tired to type straight. And picking out U-nails from nasty wet algae-y wood with the only available flathead screwdriver that we didn't sell in the yard sale or drop in the duck pond, while remembering pounding each nail & staple in many years ago, thinking back then "Boy, I'm hammering more of these in than I should, I'd hate to pick these back out again!".

Also, I assign breakfasts Out. In restaurants. Nearly everything on the menu is eggs or filled with cheese & sausage, none of which I like.

I also must throw in sore throats, from colds or breathing night air or straining it from screaming in Gandalf's voice, it's very annoying when I'm trying to sing in my car and can't quite sing an entire Disturbed or Breaking Benjamin song because I start squeaking or rasping or hurting at the fun parts.

But most of all, I assign my drum set being packed away, except for the bass drum which I cannot find a box to put it in. I miss playing! I dream of playing! Especially now, when I'm grumpy. :(

Harry was right, giggles should be outlawed...not that I should be expressing my agreement with him in a Tolkien website. But just think: isn't it really becoming of Orcs to giggle? Or imagine Sauron himself giggling - what a sight (and sound) it must be.

Have I told you that I'm making this assignment because I just realised that I giggle too much, and for the weirdest reasons?

Knowing you have to go and wash your hair, but being so comfortable and lazy that you just cannot be bothered.

Having to spend $15 at the bookstore on an umbrella and Post-It notes.

The impending stress of a busy week: 1 four page paper on the stability of slavery in the antebellum South, 1 500 word essay for Spanish (in Spanish, claro), not to mention 200 word essays on a movie and a cultural activity for our "videodiarios" and a"synthetic oral activity", 1 3-ish page paper on either Erasmus or Luther, plus a debate on the opposite in class, and, now, reading Chaucer untranslated. I wouldn't mind any of these, but crammed all together the way they are... :eek: And this is only September!

Oddwen, for disliking cheese.

Cheese is good.

Obnoxious little formalities you have to pay attention to while writing, such as the literary present. Okay, so I get that when Solomon Northup wrote something about slavery in his book, he is still saying it and needs to be in present tense, but when something happens in the book, that needs to be in past tense, right? I get really confused--especially in history papers. Also, citations can go to Mordor. I obviously have never experienced slavery, nor have I ever seen it practiced. All the stupid little numbers cluttering up my "beautiful" prose! :(

Having to mow the long, long, green, green stuff after an 11 hour workday. (sigh)

Middle aged, lower middle echelon civil servants who only aim to knock off at half pass five and make problems for you simply because they don't want to do extra work and are willing to procrastinate until the last minute and then get you to submit a proposal to resolve the issue by an unreasonable dateline before attempting to reject it to cover their backsides until you threaten to take the matter up to the department director... :mad:

It's times like these that you feel like resigning from your current job, applying to join the same government body as said civil servants and requesting to be sent to their department to be appointed their supervisor. :mad:

These people who try to infiltrate the forums with their adds on iPods and other equipment... :mad:

The song "It started with a kiss" not because it is a bad song or I don't like the music.

It just affects me in a way emotionaly that is rather uncomftable.

This thread will never die
 

Speaking of songs, I cannot stand that god-awful "Holla back girrl" song. It drives me insane...

Days that can't make up their minds. I'm going to be cold today, no actually I think hot, hmm maybe rainy, oh no I preferred hot, now I want to be cold again. Grr, I refuse to carry three different tops and an umbrella just to deal with the changing weather.

I assign Missing Umbrellas! And subsequent rain!

I assing myself

EDIT: to escape confusion: I don't mean WW in any way...

Mr. Brightside by the The Killers? Girls at my side of the world are crazy over them. Meh, I kinda like their beats and rifts myself. :D

I'd like to assign terrorism.

Uncomfortable seats. Especially when you have to sit in them for about 11 hours.

School shootings. :( Sick minds filled with hate and revenge.

Fun haters.

I and every last one of my friends.

Current affair shows and talkback hosts!!

Those fake smiles people give you that aren't even symmetrical.

Have I assigned Derek Jeter yet? I should. He's overrated, extremely overrated. He's a mediocre player. He pirrouettes like a girl. He plays for the Yankees. He's extremely smarmy & smug looking. He's ugly. I hate looking at him. I hate hearing about him *every* five minutes on ESPN.
What I do love to hate is hearing my brother screaming at all the articles featuring his bloated image & flaunting his piddling averages as if he were some sort of second Babe Ruth. Bah humbug, Jeter.

Can I also assign the Detroit Tigers for pretty much blowing it just when they hit the top? Yeah. That's loyalty for ya.

I assign the people who join the forums to sell me junk I can get anywhere else for $1,000,000 less. I cant stand them.

Having to wait 20 minutes to ask one simple question that takes 20 seconds.

When your mouth aches as you try to eat.

When it hurts to speak...

When it hurts to be...

... a salesperson.