Legolas runs toward the horse Gimli is sitting on to leap up on the horses back.
Just as he leap into the air, the horse lurches forward, leaving Legolas to fall flat on his face.
Gimli snickers, and says, 'Oops! My foot slipped. I must have *accidently* kicked the horse!'

Well, there's my attempt! It's a little funnier in my mind, because trying to put it into words doesn't work as good. Oh well.

Erm, aha!

*In Lothlorien, when Galadriel is gliding down the stairs. She trips on her dress and falls all the way to the bottom*

G: Ouch!
C: I told them that dress was too long, but did the costume department believe me? No! I'm off, before it happens to me! *Storms off screen*
PJ: I can fire you for that!
C: I'd love to see you try!
G: Er, can anyone help me? This hurts alot, being upside down. Very undignified, you know, with my legs in the air. Hello? Hello? *Everyone has gone, tumbleweed rolls past* Hello?

[ October 02, 2003: Message edited by: Feared Half-Elf ]

*Grima comes out of the powder room in his bathrobe with Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" playing in the background"* Sorry, I had to...

Here we go...

*Aragorn calls Frodo's mobile phone*
Aragorn: Dude, where are you, man? I'm s'pose ta take ya to Mordor!
Frodo: Dude, I'm almost in Mordor. Where are you?
Aragorn: Rohan, dude!
Frodo: You suck. Why can't I go to Rohan?

Meneltarmacil has a heart attack and dies.

When Aragorn is riding away from Eowyn right before the Battle with the Wargs, his horse trips, and he dies.

In Middle-earth Monthly:

"A hero died today in a tragic accident..."

I did not need thet thought. I repeat, I did not need that thought.

*the Ents are marching to Isengard*

Pippin: "Run, Forest, Run!"

For those of you that remember this pseudo-obscure monty python skit....

The meeting between Gandalf and Saruman

Saurman- "Prepare to die!"
Pippin- "What's that?"
Gandalf- "It's a Wizards staff!"
Pippin- "And what's that?"
Gimli- "It's an axe!"
Pippin- "And what's that?"
Legolas- "It's a bow!"
Saurman- "How did all of you get here?"
Everyone else- "Does it look like we know?"

Anyone who has seen Matrix Reloaded will get this as much as one can...

*Gandalf yanks Sam through the window & onto the table...

Gandalf: "You!"

Sam: (sits up on the table & puts hand into Gandalf's stomach) "Yes, me. Me, me, me!"

Gandalf: (fully transformed into Sam)"Me too!"

Well, that was my lame attempt for the week [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img].

[ October 03, 2003: Message edited by: The Only Real Estel ]

Legolas: Lembas! One small bite can fill the stomach of a grown man.

Pippin: Oh, none for me thanks. I'm on a diet.

Meela: Pippin on a diet!? lol, that would have to be a blooper [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] .

What would be even funnier is Pippin and Merry on a diet. Although, the thought of any Hobbit on a diet is laughable! it would last, what, five minutes? Until the next mealtime?

P.S. I am not usually this sarcastic, I am just in a wierd (sp?) mood!

My cousin made this one up:

Elrond to Arwen: He is not coming back.


*Jay pops up*


Jay (imitating Elrond): I killed him myself!

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Go Jay!

Gollum: Rock and pool is nice and cool. So juicy sweeet! I only WISH to catch a FISH! so juicy sweeet!
*Faramir's Merry Men shoot Sméagol*
Frodo: What have you done?!! Faramir! How could you?
Faramir: What? He was butchering a perfectly good song! I just assumed that-
Frodo: Grrrr....!

Éowyn: Oh, my god! You killed Menny!

I thought of this a few weeks ago after watching FOP.
Aragorn:A hobbit lay here, or I could just be paraphrasing.

That's okay, Menny! Can I call you Menny? Although I want to, I've never seen Monty Python. SHAME ON ME!!

Faramir: Shall I shoot?
Frodo: Like I give a crap! Go ahead!
P.J.: Cut! CUT! CUT! CUT! Elijah! You're supposed to say no!
Elijah: Why? It's not like I really care whether the little freak lives or dies!

OR:

Faramir: Shall I shoot?
Frodo: What? Are you on glue? He's our guide!

Hey, Feared Half-Elf....

*Grima opens his robe revealing a carpet of chest hair!*

Oh, that even grossed me out! And it certainly messed with my sister.


[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] I gotcha......

Meneltarmacil has ANOTHER heart attack and dies.

Let's...uhhhhh...not take this any further, OK? This is getting scary... [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

I agree with Menny, NO MORE, PLEASE!!!

*Elennar runs away, singing about clouds*

IT BURNS US! IT FREEZES!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!
[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

[ October 07, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

I read something the other day about Billy Boyd and it said he had a nice singing voice! Ha!!! So insted of the drinking song he bursts out in a 'beautiful' song in a Scottish accent. O God!! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
"Merryyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! My name is Billyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!"

[ October 06, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

I already shudder everytime Wormtongue is mentioned! Now it seems that i will be in fits of horror!

Aragorn: Its a long way
GImli: Youll have to toss me. And dont tell the elf.
Aragorn picks up Gimli and is about ot throw him when Legolas yells from above.
Legolas: Hey look guys! The dwarf has to be thrown!
Gimli: Arrgh!
Aragorn throws Gimli but his throw is short, Gimli falls to the depths below.
Aragorn: oops.

Sorry guys! But this doth sucketh! It seems I have scared everyone but Feared Half-Elf and it was meant for her! (Nothing against you Feared Halfie, you're just cool to mess with.) [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Fear not, I shall take this no further. Oh, and uhh, sorry I killed you Menny.

Here's a little someting, while I'm here...

On Aragorn's return to Rivendell, he sees Arwen standing on a balcony with her back to him. He begins to run to her shouting:

Aragorn: Arwen! Arwen! Your true love is come!
*He reaches "Arwen" and turns "her" around only to see that it is not Arwen, but Elrond!
Aragorn & Elrond: AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!! AA-AA- AAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

In the Golden Hall, Aragorn steps up to where Éowyn is swordplaying and perries with her.

Aragorn: Well, it looks like we got us a Mexican stand-off. Only we ain't no Mexicans.

At Helms Deep...
Legolas: You look terrible.
Aragorn: Yes. But isnt it ironic that you dont look so great yourself?(Legolas screams and runs to the nearest mirror)
Legolas: O.M.G. hes right!!

Gandalf: Gandalf, yes, that is what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey.... I.... am Gandalf the White. *gives Legolas a pointed look and thinks to self* For once I look better than that poncy Elf!

Legolas: Looking sexy my man! *later* What did you use on your hair, L'Oreal?

Gandalf: Are you crazy???? Nothing touches this Istar's hair except pure Revlon!

*When Aragorn gets to Helm's Deep*

Legolas: You look terrible!
Aragorn: Hey! It's not my fault! You're the one that hoards all the shampoo!

*At Edoras*

Hama: Hand over you bow and knives!
Legolas: Or what?
Hama: Or I'll mess up your pretty hair!
Legolas: Ai! Ai! Anything but that! Legolas quickly hands over all weapons

*Boromoir, to Aragorn, in his final scene*
"I'm not quitedead yet."

No, Lily, you scared me just as much as you have scared anyone else. I just haven't been online for a few days. Let's just drop it now, I don't want to be scarred further!!!
[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

Aragorn: Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?
Legolas: Three barrels of wine and some decent music. Party!

Ok, where did that come from? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

(Aragorn is leading the hobbits to Rivendell.)
(Aragorn reads a sign)
Aragorn: 6 miles to Rivendell.
Frodo: But that sa-
Aragorn: Who's the ranger here?
All: You are.
(6 miles later)
Aragorn: Ahh..Final- What!!!! Rivendeli?!!
Frodo: I tried to tell you.

or


(At the meeting of Arwen end Aragorn.)
Aragorn: Oooh shes hot!! (screams)HOT MAMA!!!
(Arwen turns around revaling that half of her head is
SHAVED!!!)
Aragorn: Oooh! Thats not right!!

[ October 09, 2003: Message edited by: legolas luver*1 ]

Oh my, Feared Halfie (may I call you that?)! I only meant to scare you, not scar you for life! Please accept my apology. I know Grima can be very frightening with his clothes on, let alone- Okay you get it.

Whilst I am hither...

Merry & Pippin in the Green Dragon....

Merry & Pip: Hey! Yo! Lemme hear ya say, YEAH!
Crowd: YEAH!
Merry & Pip: Put yo hands up! Put yo hands up!
*Bar crowd puts their hands up*
Pip: Now say, Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh!
Crowd: Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh....
(Camera pans on P.J. and the rest of the on-set crew. They're all chanting and dancing around)
P.J.: Go, go, Billy! It's yo birthday! It's yo birthday! *does the Egyptian*

That's a FREAKY thought!
*In the hobbit. The troll scene.*

Bilbo: Please don't cook me kind sirs. I am a cook myself and I cook better than I cook if you see what I mean. I'll cook beautifully for you!
William: Well, alright. But don't forget the rabies. That's what gives it that extra kick.

Oh, that was beautiful, Mr. Baggins! I love F.O.P., too!

Here's something...
(At Helm's Deep, Legolas shield-surfs down the staircase, firing off a volley of arrows. At the bottom...)

Fellow Soldiers: Whoa, Leggers! That was AWESOME, my brotha!
Legolas: Thanks. And that's Chicago.
Soldiers: What?
Legolas: I dunno, but it sounded cool!

When they finally get to Rivendell...

Aragorn: So, you see, Elrond? We were clearly mislead.
Elrond: *nods solemnly* Yeah, I had a sandwich at Rivendeli, once. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Not even run by elves...
Aragorn: [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Me: I dunno. I liked their sandwiches anyway.

[ October 09, 2003: Message edited by: Mr. Bilbo Baggins Esq. ]

In the Last Battle...

Elrond: Tangado haid! Leithio i philin!
*Elves exchange bewildered glances and shrug*
Elf #1: Well... If he says so....
*Elves start taking off their pants and dancing Polka in their underwear*
Elrond: What are you doing?! I told you to take your positions and fire the arrows!
Elf #1: Nooo... You told us to dance Polka in our undies.
Elf #2: Hey, man, we're just obeying orders...

I've got these ones in my head for quite a while now...

(Entmoot scene)
Pippin: Merry! Verdict's in!

That scene reminds me of "The Practice"...anyway

(Aragorn and Theoden trapped in chamber-thingy)
Theoden: So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?
Aragorn: Ride out with meat...
Theoden: I've only got bacon here.
Aragorn: Then we'll have to ride out to meat, then.
(Aragorn, Theoden prepared for battle)
Theoden: To the meat stall!!!!!

Hope these haven't been done yet... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Wala lang!
->The True Son of Finrod, and of Amarie of the Vanyar

...Just as we hear Dirrty, by Christina A. start to play in the background. Oh i can imagine it.

GOOD CALL! I swear, its the best call ever, i said it in that context after surfing last weekend, hopped off hte wave and ont the beach and shouted back to the sea. "Thats Chicago!"

I swear Lily! I just laughed the hardest ive ever laughed at these things just reading your last few!