"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts..."

Thranduil, also to be seen in Desperate Scousewives and The Only Way Is Essex. Reem, innit! :D

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"Gandalf, tell your Cousin Radagast that being 'one with nature' doesn't give him leave to appear at the White Council uncloaked!"

As no agreement could be reached, Gandalf simply pulled the giant switch and sent the dissidents into a watery and crocodile infested grave.

Watch the Middle-Earth series premiere of Marriage Counciling! Our fist couple: Gandalf the Grey and Lord Elrond of Rivendell!

"I will take Frodo as my Padawan learner."

Letting go of all civilities for a moment the crowd erupted, the cries from outside the ring were "fight, fight, fight."

"Calm down, Gandalf, you look worse than Barliman's wife after he overindulges in his prize ale!"

Gandalf leaned on his staff, panting heavily. These things only got more difficult the more he aged. Still, he proudly met the gazes of the gathered council and placed his hand saucily on his hip.

"Elrond," he proclaimed. "You just got served."

"No, I will take the Ring!"

Gandalf did not posses the voice of Saruman, but he had developed a rather effective technique of persuasion. In this case he was sure that he only had to hold his breath for a few minutes more, then Elrond would give in and the argument be won.

Elrond: "What time do you call this? We ordered that pizza for delivery an hour ago!"

Gandalf: Who has been leaving hair in the drains?

Galdalf pouts when Elrond informs himthat his hair just doesn't keep up with the current styles. The witnesses watch with baited breath, more than willing to testify in court if Gandalf attacks Elrond for the constructive criticism.

Gandalf was forced to admit that, no, he'd never marvelled at the beauty of it; but if Elrond didn't stop showing off about that new robe he was going to scratch his eyes out.

Gandalf's decision to demonstrate just how easily a hobbit can be impaled by a simple wooden staff shocked everyone, but in the end they all agreed it was the right thing to do.

Paying attention to nothing but the argument at hand, no one noticed that while they were shouting at each other, both Frodo and the Ring disappeared...

Gandalf refuses to accept Elrond's verdict that his rendition of "I'm a little teapot" wasn't good enough to get him through to the next round of Rivendell's got talent.

Gandalf wonders how he is going to juggle the tube of A-535 rub on his back.

http://geektyrant.com/storage/page-i...=1294851752573

Sorry guys. Apparently this won't show as an image, so it's a link. Have fun!

Though carefully manicured, Saruman's thumbnail was a serious detriment to his bowling game.

"What do you mean, 'Reply hazy, try again'?"

"I'm down to four fingers & one arm WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, SAURON??"

Saruman stares at the palantir with all two of his eyes.


Sauron stares back with all one.

Now that I've got my knife handy, I'll just carve this baby into an image of the Great One himself.

Saruman always used to spend time down the Bowling Alley on his days off........

Saruman was correct: From the right angle it looked like he was holding a crystal ball in his hand. However the novelty of it soon wore off, as the unknown planet collided with Middle-Earth.

"It's a Palantir. Nothing more. If you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. But this is not a gift for an ordinary dotard whose brigands drink in the reek, and whose brats roll on the floor with the dogs."

No matter how big and disgusting the wart on his hand got, Saruman refused to get it seen to. In fact, he started personifying it and calling it his new best friend.

All right Gandalf, what do you say?.
I make this 7-10 split and you join me in ruling Middle-earth!

Saruman was overjoyed to snag one of this year's limited supply of Heston Blumenthal's Whole Orange Christmas Puddings. "I can get £40 for this on eBay!"

http://images.wikia.com/lotr/images/...rsion_FotR.jpg

http://images.wikia.com/lotr/images/...rsion_FotR.jpg

Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations.

"Anyone ever tell you you look sort of like a frightened weasel?"

or

"So that's when the squirrel came to and really started protecting its nuts. Anyway, that's how I got this scar."

You will buy me ice cream, or you will suffer.

Aragorn didn't quite believe him, but Celeborn was adamant that it was him that came up with the idea for frozen yogurt.

or

Once again Celebron defeated Aragorn in the ancient pastime of the Eldar known as "who can pee the longest".

Hey, who does your flaxen hair? I could use a good wash and wax.

The final show down in the All Middle-earth Mighty Mullet Competition starts to turn nasty when Aragorn accuses his opponent of using kirby grips rather than commit fully to the philosophy of 'business in front, party at the back'.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"