Bilbo learned retrieving a lost contact lens was even more difficult with invisible hands.

Bilbo: "Look at the Worm!"

Smaug: "I'm no worm, I'm a dragon!"

Bilbo: "Same thing!"

Smaug: "No, dragons are huge lizzards, not worms." *sticks tongue out for proof*

Bilbo: "Stop sticking your tongue at me, Worm!"

Smaug: "I'm not a worm, I'm a dragon!"

Odoriferous
 

Smaug: "I may not be able to see you, thief. But I can smell you . . . Phew! What did you have for dinner?"

Bilbo: "Drat those dwarven beans!"

Smaug: Well whilst you are here Barrel-rider, could you help me find my lucky Penny?

Smaug impersonates Snoop dogs in his latest rap video.

Bilbo's presence makes Smaug's blood boil.

What poor Bilbo didn't realize is that you're not invisible if you're ON FIRE!!!

Things had got really desperate in the battle to save the Eurozone.

Smaug sneezes.

Episodes of Dragons' Den are so much more exciting in Middle-earth.

http://taylorhits.com/newsletter/Fot...t-Trailer1.jpg

"You would look lovely with a fringe."

"You've let down your hair; now would you uncloak for me?"

What happens in Rivendell stays in Rivendell.

Galadriel: Now, Gandalf, I don't want you to tell Bilbo about our little time together.
Gandalf: Of course not.
Galadriel: Good. Because I don't want this to show up in his book.
Gandalf: Impossible!
Galadriel: Or a film about his book.
Gandalf: ... um...

"Hang on, there's a little bit of Lembas in your beard."

"It's still not as long as Celeborn's."

Galadriel: So, tell me... When will you regenerate into Radagast?

Gandalf: I think you've completely misunderstood two completely different mythologies.

Galadriel: Shut up, Magneto!!

Gandalf: is it a strand of hair you're looking for?

Galadriel: Tee hee! Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to give Gimli the dwarf three strands of your hair and say they're mine! Tee hee!

Or...

Galadriel: Are these....ewwwww, they are! They're nose hairs!

The first time Galadriel used her mirror in 3,472 years, she had a bit of a nasty surprise.

Galadriel:- You somehow look older Gandalf, how can this be?

Gandalf:- Wizards are never old.....erm...uh.. they just age differently...

Pider Jackson:- Cut!


From the forthcoming film by One Wrong.com and Few Lines Cinema.... The Hobbit There or Thereabouts and The Question of Errorbore.

Do not meddle with the beards of wizards, for they are sticky and quick to tangle.

Galadriel: Gandalf! What happened to your eyebrows?!

Gandalf: Some bloke with a blue box and a bow tie tried to steal them.

"And just why did you draw those bad guys?"

http://tolkiengateway.net/w/images/t...ransformed.jpg

Werewolf games are officially replaced by Werebat games.

Thuringwethil leads the FA feminist movement against the anti-feminist Draugluin. She is extremely successful.

Beren learns that calling a woman "old bat" is unwise, no matter the circumstance.

Beren was horrified to hear the changes in Luthien's voice when they came out of Thuringwethil's voicebox.

This year, some of the outfits worn by those attending Whitby Goth Weekend were more extreme than ever.

Beren didn't believe Luthien was serious about hitting him with a bat if he brings up the topic of sending her back to Doriath again.

Today, under the thirty year rule, top secret Government documents were released for the first time. The most shocking of these reveals the mayhem that overtook the BBC TV Centre when John Noakes inadvertently transmitted the rabies virus to the Blue Peter pets. Petra was last seen being chased by a transmogrified Valerie Singleton in the form of a vampire bat through the Italian Sunken Garden as the whole complex was plunged into darkness when a crazed Peter Purves chewed his way through the power cables.

Book 37 of The Breaking Yawn Saga tries to out-do The Munsters....

'I didn't expect dad to take it that badly.'

Thuringwethil pursues Draugluin with vengeance in mind, after discovering that he's come home from a week away with a bad case of fleas.

"Fenton. Fenton! FENTON! OH....ERU!"

"What did you do to my new picture?!!!"

http://www.freewebs.com/lord_ofthe_r...KSamFrodo4.jpg

Frodo: You were right, Sam, we shouldn't have tried to see Gandalf uncloaked

~~~

Frodo: There's acid in this flask. One more word and you'll lose your facial features.

Having already killed and eaten Gollum, Sam considers the next nearest food source.

Sam: Do you like it Mr. Frodo? I made it myself!

Frodo: Why, yes, I love my new....crocheted water flask?

Frodo: Just why exactly did we not ask the Eagles to take us there?


PS: nice new location, Oddy! :D

It might sound absurd, but taking turns caressing the water-flask was the only thing that kept Frodo and Sam from going completely mad.

Frodo: what... did... you.... put... in... this... flask?

Sam: just some water from that river down yonder in the Morgul-vale and the flowers that grew beside it...