The husband or the dog? ;)

I assign sore throats and headaches. In fact just having a cold really, especially right in the middle of the exam period!

That has to refer to the husband.

You're both wrong-it's the two-year-old...

I assign feminism. (Yes, I'm a girl.) It just seems that feminism as a political movement has gone beyond striving for equality to rampant man-hating. I can't stand it! And women who think their marriages are or ought to be an "equal partnership"...even if you're striving for it, there's just no such thing. Not in a group of two: when you disagree, someone has to have the deciding vote, whichever one of you that may be. That's just the way life works. In my marriage, my husband makes the final decision, and I am in no way ashamed of that, nor will I let feminists tell me I ought to be in the name of "equality".

Feminism is fine in my book, but I could do with a spot more recognition of the movement of masculinism. At present, the unfortunate demographic of men who hate football and like wearing pink trousers and non-bling jewellery are sorely oppressed.

So, I assign the concepts of rigid femininity and masculinity. Sa-ha.

Let's just simplify the matter and assign anything that ends with an 'ism'. Look at it with an uncaring eye and you'll notice that everything of that nature reverts to one thing: fanaticism.

A bit too broad. Literary criticism? Monarchism? Liberalism? Hedonism? Poeticism? I like some of these...I'm going to hang about busily reassigning things...

EDIT: Okay, poeticism is stretching it. I'll replace it with epicureanism and mysticism...

I would like to second the assignment of rigid concepts of masculinity and femininity, though I'd like to remove the word rigid from the sentence. Masculinity and femininity should not stretch beyond gender. The rest is pure conditioning by culture.

Again, I wouldn't go that far. Masculinity and femininity have led to an awful lot of good poetry.

I assign chatting on the Assigned to Mordor thread to Mordor.

I also assign losing the Stanley Cup... again.... to Mordor. :(

And driving in the dark, in the rain, in our car, to Mordor. Poor visibility will fit in fine there.

However, I must off the the Assigned the Shire thread...

Getting hooked on football when I'm supposed to be learning an essay.

I've decided I like Peter Crouch, it's just too amusing when he has to duck so he doesn't accidentally hit the ball with his head :D

Seconding Ang here, and adding some other isms, including the great English traditions of Romanticism and empiricism... these are things I hold dear and even you, Fea, shall not be allowed to send them to Mordor.

Oh, and where is Lush when you need her...we need a strong phalanx of men-loving feminists to prove Jenny wrong...;)

Wherever she is I bet you she isn't bare-foot, pregnant and in the kitchen.....

Feminism means I got an education that my foremothers couldn't dream of.
Feminism means that my choices are not dictated by my chromosomes.
Feminism means that I can take it for granted that can get a mortgage in my own name and have equal rights at work, which women a generation older couldn't.
Feminism means I can vote, for which right women a hundred year older died for.
Feminism doesn't belong in Mordor; it belongs in Valinor

I would like to humbly change the phrasing of my tart response given that Mithalwen is SO RIGHT!:

Extremism being attached to any other 'ism' is what ruins it. Ergo, rather than assigning an 'ism', I'll merely assign all rabid fans. :)

*basks in her higher level education and lack of arranged marriage*

I fear I'm Assigning myself to Mordor here... but by Assigning rabid fans, you've just sent most of the 'Downs to Mordor, my dear. Not that we haven't been assigned there for one reason or another already...

And, in a paltry attempt to justify this post and put it back on topic, I'd like Assign people not being online when they should to Mordor... there are those with whom I like to think I needs must talk. :p

Can I join the phalanx? I agree with Mith's post right down the line. And I fit the other membership requirement as well. :D
Back to Mordor I go. :rolleyes:

I assign parking garages with too small spaces. Said spaces are tight even for my fairly small car.

The blisters associated with lawn-mowing. Ouch!

My own lack of motivation. There are plenty of things I'd like to do, but I just can't seem to overcome my inertia and start them. :rolleyes:

Knowing you need to memorise something and attempting to, but getting distracted by anything and everything and, bizzarely, ending up recalling the mini-essay you memorised for your German oral 2 years ago!

Hey Hey...I'm not that backwards people! And while I am barefoot, that is because my cute shoes ripped up my feet Saturday.

I have no problem with feminism in as much as it strives to create opportunities for women. It's Andrea Dworkin and militant feminists who irritate me.

And I stand by the equal partnership thing :) Whether it's the guy or the girl, someone has to have the final say. Anything else, as Spocku would no doubt tell us, is a logical fallacy.

(Boy do I love taking unpopular positions:p )

Come now, JennyH, don't be so cruel. Mordor is no place for ladies. It would give them such a fright with no strong men there to protect them. And they might break a nail or something.

*Ducks volley of feminist literature and burning bras*

:rolleyes: ;)

I assign being an England football fan and having to endure, rather than enjoy, matches. It's a lifelong sentence that, given my time again, I would seriously consider avoiding. :(

I assign guys who wear pink. It just doesn't sit well with me. Then again, maybe that's just because I prefer my guys to be clad in black. :cool:

Just remember, my dear SPM, that you have also been Assigned to Mordor. Frequently... So you'll be surrounded by our phalanx. :p ;)

*tosses a heavy sheaf of papers in SPM's direction*

I assign ambiguous directions. I can't make head or tail of some of the items on this review sheet I'm trying not to study.

Have you ever seen a "Tough Guys Wear Pink" shirt? Needless to say, it's always pink. I find it amusing.

Anyways, I assign whatever the reason one has to miss people to Mordor.

And my lack of drawing skills, again. And unnecessary activities that remind me of it.

I assign the hordes of young men who wear pink leisure tops with trendy mini-mullets which look like the back end of a wet dog and chunky gold jewellery. It is sooo not a good look, lads. Though it is useful, as it helps you avoid people in the street who are likely to be an idiot.

I also assign my urge to write a piece on why people have misunderstood the true importance of feminism, as it will likely be long and rambling and grossly off-topic.

But I cannot resist a paragraph and so will assign the intellectual and weak feminism which I encountered at college, where young women studying Arts spent many hours bemoaning the fact that most young women study Arts instead of Sciences. I also assign the assumption that women have only gained the 'right' to work in the latter half of this century. I'm sure my poor foremothers would have had something to say about that as they worked to feed the family.

And anyway, in a partnership it is always best if someone has the upper hand. The woman. :p

I assign the unhealthy obsession otherwise delightful adult males develop with The One True and Righteous Way to Stack a Dishwasher.

Sauce, while I frequently need to get things of my chest it is never my bra to burn.... at least it gives me genuine support which is more than can be said of some men :D

And it is not too late to repent of the foot ball.

I assign to Mordor the posts (mind you, not the members who post them, just the posts themselves) that are filled with chat content, thereby forcing the poor moderator to exercise administrative functions to ensure that the forum is in line with its policies. Come on, people, is it really that hard to comply? I know this thread lends itself to off-topic posting, but please don't turn it into a feminism debate or a free-for-all chat!

Driving instructors who make you more nervous about you upcoming driver's test than you were before. Come on, the lesson is supposed to make me feel more confident, not less!

Me too.

Jenny, maybe we could assign militant feminists to Mordor?

(I hereby assign myself to Mordor for continuing a discussion the moderator has expressed hope of being stopped...)

Militant feminism is hereby assigned (specifically) to Mordor. I can live with that.


I assign unexpected unforeseen opportunities that fulfill all the things you thought you wanted...but require a sacrifice you're not sure you should make. Granted, I don't have enough details to even know if it's a real opportunity yet, but life right now is so secure, and maybe I haven't had my priorities quite where they ought to be. I don't know. I'm scared about it and want to talk to my mom. Stupid workday...another six hours until I can call her.

Ack...a few details so this makes some sense to my friends here.

I'm living 800 miles from home and family, and I've been terribly homesick. My husband is working at a job that may or may not go anywhere, and that doesn't challenge or engage him, and that is taking a hefty physical toll on him.

We're making more money than we ever thought we'd be able to this soon, and getting our debts paid off, and we're comfortable and secure. We live in a beautiful area of the country, and the distance from family has built our relationship with eachother into something so much stronger than we had when we were married, just shy of a year ago. We have a nice apartment, and are looking at being able to own our own home in only a couple years. We're buying a car, and the payments won't be a hardship.

Last night, my father-in-law called my husband with news of a possible job opportunity. The job would involve teaching (Neal's life-long dream) his specialty at a local community college, in our home state. Neal would easily be able to get the job.

It would not pay well.

It would not be easy for me to find a job, and impossible to find one like I have here.

I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I thought an opportunity like this was everything I wanted, and I'm faced with the realization that the security of life down here might be more important.

I'm having a terrible time concentrating on work. :( :rolleyes:

Those of you who feel it appropriate, please pray that Neal and I make the right decision.

I would just like to ascertain that the wearing of purple has not been sent to Mordor. Nor the riding of purple bikes. Nor a fondness of purple.

And, while I'm here, I shall send Britain's utterly ridiculous education system. Why is the annotation of poems compulsory? It's a ridiculous attempt to emulate France and inject some sort of culture into the Godforsaken little island. Why is Religious studies compulsory? Why is history taught so inconsistently? Just... why?

So, here's my plan. Psychology should be compulsory from primary school. A child learns better if it knows about itself. English should only be compulsory up to an understanding of the grammar and workings of the language. At least one language should be compulsory. History should be taught from beginning to end, consistently. Religious studies should be scrapped and replaced by Philosophy-government.

Am I really the only one who sees all of this?

People who hold yard/garage sales, but don't remove their signs! :mad:
Also people who use teeny tiny signs, with teeny tiny print, or have a nice bright piece of paper with pencilled writing, one stake in windy weather, and/or no/false directing arrows.

Little old couples. That instead of eating the nice meal you bought them 45 minutes before the end of your shift, sit and read the paper as it cools. And then, once it's cool, instead of eating it at a speed appropriate for somebody that is, I would think, human, they chew with all of the enthusiasm of a tree sloth on muscle relaxants in order, one could guess, to preserve the perfection and location of dentures. And that don't leave until 45 minutes after you should have been home.

I also assign people that think they have musical talent and choose to share that thought with the neighborhood at far more decibels than strictly necessary with the aid of an amp and electric guitar.

:mad: :D

Hiccups that simply won't quit. Oh yes, they wait for you to fall asleep before they do.

Drunk drivers. :(

Reaching a point past-caring about the only course you are taking and feeling so emotionally worn out that where once an A+ looked very possible with a moderate effort, now to get there I'd have to learn two weeks worth of spring-course work (About a month of normal time course work) in one day.... and yet, not caring to even make the effort.

hangovers.
especially when you're stupid enough to mix the wrong drinks.... :(
________
The yazidi branch of yazdanism forum

People. Present company excluded, of course. ;)

Heat and humidity in combination so intense that you get in your car after work, and your glasses immediately fog over completely.

Being so powerless to resist the temptation of staying up until almost midnight to read a book when there's a need to get up at five in the morning.