Butterbur: Oh I am sooooooo sorry, I didn't think you two were...together....

Sam: That's what they all say.....

Sam: "Wow!"
Barliman: "Yeah, Galadriel really takes seriously
defending her Prancing Pony pole dancing title."

David Weatherley: "'Uh oh, here comes Peter. This is the last time I'm going to sneak you two a doner kebab while the cameras are rolling."

You Might Not Want to Improve Your Vision
 

Barliman: "Try out these binoculars, Master Underhill. But be careful! You may see more than you wish."

Frodo: "Stop stealing Galadriel's lines!"

Butterbur: What do you think that strange man with the odd metal box is doing..? Its like the box is staring at me with its one eye...

Butterbur is stopped in his tracks when Bob and Nob start kicking the living heck out of Bill Furney for suggesting that their names were made up as a joke.

Butterbur has the sudden, sinking feeling that serving "Nob 'n' Bob Pie" to Frodo may well be considered an act of cannibalism.

"It's a little hard to hear in here, Master . . ."
 

Butterbur: "I thought you said, 'Frog without legs.' "

Frodo: "No, I wanted frog's legs."

Butterbur: You didn't see it? It was like two shiny eyes peering through the window, right at you!

Frodo: There's nothing there, Mr. Butterbur.

Sam: I think he's just trying to scare us with some local ghost story.

Frodo: Thank you for letting us stay here again Mr. Butterbur.

Butterbur: NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!! :eek:

Sam: He got into the ale again, didn't he.....

Butterbur: And then they will sneak into your rooms, and stab you in your beds! Wooooooo!

Frodo: This is getting annoying. Let's find another establishment.

Butterbur: Oh that? That's the new picture!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/walesarts/jrr-tolkien-01.jpg

Tolkien: You silly Gandalf! That's not what I meant by 'uncloaking'.

OR

Tolkien: A tree? Creeping up behind me? Don't be absurd!

"If one more person walks by me and yells 'Frodo lives', I'm opening a can of ring a dong dillo on 'em."

Tolkien: Lord of the Rings 2: Revenge of the Uruk? Don't be ridiculus.

"See? If I stand just so, it looks like the tree branch is going in one ear, through my head, and clean out the other ear! Jolly good, eh what?"

"I will not discuss with you whether or not Balrog's have wings!"

Tolkien: Sorry, your idea about talking trees and a lidless eye of fire does not interest me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the patent office...

Tolkien:-So I am asking you to donate just £3 a month to Ent-aid. This will enable old Ents like Bagolard behind me, to get a new electric-wheelchair and throw away those awful crutches.

"What did you say you have in that bag? Baggins? Bless me, I would never have thought that you can use information I put in my books to actually track him... ha, ha! So it happens. Well, enjoy, mister Khamul..."

What's wrong with this picture?
 

"Well, I would have buttoned up against this unpleasant weather. But I could not find my top button, you see. What's that? You do see? What the devil do you mean by that?"

Tolkien: Don't you argue with me that Entwives still walk freely all over the place!

Wanted For Questioning Over Identity Of "bombadil" Suspect.

"You should have seen the first draft, man - nothing but girls and weed. But they made me change it, as if hairy midgets would sell better..."

JRR would've made a better cameo than Mike Tyson...
 

"Really, Alan? 'Carlos' is the best name you could come up with?"

Help!
 

We need a new picture! I'll put an Etchasketch image up of Gandalf uncloaking if I don't see one soon!

Please?

We definitely need a new picture!!! I tried to post one, but my computer won't cooperate with me.

Here is a picture of The Dark Lord painting my cellar black with the light off.















































.

Ummm....Gandalf....please tell me that was just your wizard's staff.

"Time to call Smaug in to help, don't you think?"

Middle-earth Art Gallery
 

Artist: "Behold, my latest creation."

Patron (seemingly confused): "What do you call it?"

Artist: "Cow eating grass."

Patron (now confused); "Where's the grass?"

Artist: "The cow ate it all."

Patron (now totally confused): "Where's the cow?"

Artist: "Why would the cow stay around if the grass is all gone?"

(You know we're desperate for a new picture if we start commenting on black!)

Frodo: Sam! Sam! I can't see!

Sam: Open your eyes.

Frodo: Oh.

The Mordor citizenry thought Sauron had taken his idea of a "second Darkness" a little too far.

Meadhros: Maglor, where's the light switch?
Maglor: It's everlasting darkness we're in, dude!

OR

Nob: He's back, sir, he's back!
Butterbur: Oh is he? I'll show 'im!
*goes to his cellar*
Butterbur: And what would you be doing here, Master Sauron?
Sauron: Can't you see?
Butterbur: Er........how???

OR

Frodo (holding the phial of Galadriel): Why isn't this working? It's supposed to light up!
Sam: Maybe we should change the batteries...

OR

Legolas: what happened? Why can't I see the new picture?
Aragorn: You're just getting old, pal!

None of the Fellowship thought Gandalf's game of hide and seek in Moria was very fun...

or

Sam: Rosie!! Rosie!! I think I've gone blind!!

Rosie: Take off your blindfold idiot!!

or

Denethor was very confused when the guards turned out the lights on his pyre of doom.

or

Peter Jackson: WHERE ARE ALL MY ACTORS!?

Elijah: We're right here!!

PJ: Where!?

Sean: Right in front of you!!

Ian: I told him that the black screen in FRONT of the actors was a bad idea

Surprisingly, a black screen can have so many hilarious captions!

voice from off stage: Sam? Rosie? *suspiciously* What are you two up to?

The only known photograph of Radagast the Brown uncloaked...

How about "the only known photograph of Sauron the Black uncloaked"?

The Black Gate of Mordor.

Welcome to Barad Dur! Hope you enjoy the view!

***

Sauron's idea of a perfect day

The Barad-dur bathroom in a blackout.