Being cold in June. I'm not supposed to be cold in June. I assign weather that should be hot and sunny and pool-worthy (and I don't even like getting wet!)being, rather, cold and wet and rather October-ish.

I assign having to go to work on days when it is far more preferable to curl up in pjs under a warm blanket with a book. I also assign having to go on days where, though it is not preferable, one would like the option to attend the funeral of an old friend's grandfather that you've known since childhood. :(

Revision :(

If that hasn't been assigned before then I'll be amazed but even if it has it deserves a reassignation.

The prospect of going in to school tomorrow for pretty much normal hours unless I get bored early and go home is really not appealing to me right now.

Ah, but Kath, our particular blend of procrastination and revision merits special mention.

I hereby assign not bothering to revise until two days before an exam. In conjunction, I also assign those two days.

Will we never learn?

Nope :D

I also assign biting you nails, and biting them so far back that it actually hurts to put pressure on your thumb. Damn Doctor Who and it's nerve wracking scenes!

People who send you an invitation to their graduation party by e-mail a mere matter of hours before it actually starts. I would have liked to go, but I didn't find out about it until today, two days later. :rolleyes:

I assign taking oneself too seriously. :rolleyes:

Poor Elempi... don't worry, I do it all the time.

I assign snakes and my unreasonable fear of them. I only saw two and one was dead! And they were both small and completely harmless. I tell myself this and it doesn't work. *shivers helplessly*

I assign using the phrase *nuzzle* as an MSN greeting when the recipient is not whom you intended it to be. Why don't I stick to hi?

When you get ultra sticky snails that you just can't pick up and remove from the plants. UGH! I just tried to pick one up and it was huge and so sticky I thought I was going to pull it out of its shell, and now I feel like scrubbing my fingernails with carbolic soap... And its still in the plants, the blighter. My front garden path is covered in the things. :eek:

The last ten minutes of the workday...

*dddrrrrrraaaaaagggggggg*

I assign a predatory penal system that feeds on the ruined lives of black men in the USA; and the culture the attitudes of which can create and encourage it. Very bureaucratic, very orcish.

Context: I have a new friend who's trying to get out of the 'hood. Very focused, very committed; I can't believe all the obstacles that have been set in his way over the last five weeks that I've had to help him around, through, back-away-from, etc., just in order to try to live a normal life! A whole lot of people (including me) ought to feel very ashamed.

Arrested for littering! He denies it. Throw on a charge of disorderly conduct. And false identity while we're at it. Arraignment results in release after a weekend in jail; and the car, impounded, costs $185 that he doesn't have, to get out of its own slammer. Disgusting. Orcs everywhere, and all of it beneath the human seeming skin. It ain't right.

Not right at all, lmp. :( What's wrong with people?

Second the assignment.

Somehow losing all your notes and the great essay you wrote the night before you have to recreate the information in an exam.

Then, after contacting countless friends to get the information . . . you find it :mad:

Oversleeping. Stupid sleep debt. I think I missed a very important registration, and my first A2 French lesson, on Molière.

I also assign First Capital Connect, who have taken over Thameslink as my local rail providers. They have introduced a new peak time between 4:30 and 7:00 pm. This is utterly ridiculous. I can no longer buy cheap tickets and come back between those hours. Spontaneous outings, with no clear arrival or departure times, are unfeasible due to the new journey-ban, as I think of it. And seeing as most of my friends live in a suburb miles away, trains are vital. *Hatehatehate* Stupid public transport. How do Britons manage to run such inefficient, hideously expensive trains? Why doesn't the government subsidise fuel to public transport if it's so eco-friendly? Why doesn't it just take over and make things WORK again. Stupid privatised idiotic late-running oft-cancelled three-together public transport. *Fumes*

Realising that you have been away for more that half of your baby-brothers life.

The prospect of informing the boss you've had for only a week that not only do you have to leave early tomorrow and can't come in Friday, but that for three days a week for the next month, you can't come in until what, likelihood tells you, is a good two hours AFTER he'll want you.

Mwahaha! Guy has to go back to schoooool :p I'm allowed to laugh, I had to do it last year. Don't worry though, you have a whole year to catch up on it - joy!

I'm going to assign my bruised middle finger. Due to a full week of consistent note writing for revision and essay writing for exams mixed with the way I hold my pen, the pad of my finger is internally bruised. Seriously! You can't see it but if I put any pressure on it at the moment it feels like lots of little pins are being stabbed into it :(

Whatever causes palms to go so rough. Like sportclimbing. It almost feels like my face would bleed whenever I rub my palms against it... :(

12 inches
 

Or your heels...seriously, I should just send feet to Mordor, except then how would I use my bass drum pedal? :(

What I send my feet to Mordor for:
Dry, cracked heels
Callouses in between my toes (how can that physically happen?)
Those stupid pinkie toes that are twisting outward
That stupid broken toe that won't bend and hurts to wear sandals with
The smell

I would also like to send ugly toes to Mordor. Nothing turns my stomach like ugly toes. And thick toenails. *shudder*

You're writing a post you're really pleased with (on whether Frodo or Sam is the real hero of LotR) which is long, brilliantly argued ;), with quotes & stuff, & it disappears when you click back onto the reply box to finish it :mad: ('cos although Firefox is a great browser it doesn't retain stuff when you click 'back' like Safari does) & you just can't face doing it over :( .

I also assign people who inflict their moans about trivial things on other people just to get it out of their system.

Anyway, suffice to say that i proved beyond doubt that Sam is not a 'hero'.....

Just to clarify - I was having a dig at myself there :rolleyes:

BTW Wiscott has just said more or less what I was saying on that particular thread.

I assign getting notified that the price of lodging for an already expensive trip this summer has just doubled.

Physical therapy and the muscle spasms that were annoying before but are downright scary now. Try to calmly slice onions while the hand holding a really large and sharp knife is spasming every thirty seconds or so.

I assign sunburns... at present, I find my sunburned back pretty funny because there are still pale parts in the perfect shape of the way my bathing suit ties in the back. However, I suspect that in a few days the pain and peeling will set in, and it won't be so funny anymore. :eek: :rolleyes:

I assign laziness that causses you to miss out on a festival with ROGER WATERS who is preforming THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON,
GUNS N’ ROSES, KAIZERS ORCHESTRA, BOB DYLAN, KASHMIR, THE STROKES and FRANZ FERDINAND

And I assign Rune, how could you miss that, man???????

Also, I assign muggy weather and mosquitoes... and that sadness deep inside that tries to make you stay home when you know that you shouldn't .... and yet... and yet.

i know
 

I just decidet to wait buying the ticket, because I did not know wether to buy a ticket for the whole festival or only for the days where the big stages are open. (the first days there is only a small stages with unknown bands) Normaly I always buy my ticket months in advance. But since the festival has not been sold out in the last 8 years or so, I was in no hurry. :(

Unpredictability. Changing plans. Having no choice but to swallow them all.

Finding out the the religious far-right controls your ancestral homeland. In Gujarat, anybody who isn't Hindu is now classed as a foreigner, and there's an automatic 14 year prison sentence for killing a cow. And - this is the best one - English nursery rhymes are banned.

Intrusively pious members of society should go to Mordor.

Feeling your pain on the festival front, Rune.

I could have gone to see the Strokes on Wednesday at a festival in Hyde Park. I just found out they were playing, and then I found out there were tickets left...I was so excited...and then I realised it was the night my cousin was in town and I'd promised to see him. My cousin is definitely a fine-wine-and-cigars rather than festival kind of guy, so I'm going to have to give it a miss.
To make things even more annoying, my brother came to see me this weekend, and he's very much a festival type, so the timing of these visits was just infuriatingly wrong.
So I send to Mordor much-loved family members coming to see you In Totally The Wrong Order.

HELP!

davem has just this minute put an old pack of kippers out of the back of the freezer into the microwave and they smell like death. Oh, it's utterly rank. :eek:

These things are going to have to go into the wheelie bin until its emptied on Tuesday too. Oh the neighbours are going to love me! :(

What's even worse is I was going to cook fish for tea, and now I'm seriously put off the thought of it.

EYUW!

Nasty weather that might just ruin your hang-out at a the fair with the girl you are dating...

Cute shoes.

You know, the gorgeous, stylish, perfect shoes that make your feet look small and dainty, and have just enough heel...

...and take three days of foot pampering to recover from the horrible pain and blisters that result from wearing them.

Must go soak feet...

Not being able to go to an event you'd love to attend because it's a fundraiser for a charity that does work you don't approve of. :( :( :(

Not being able to completely follow a Bio lecture because of the prof's projector problems and rapid, unclear speaking. :rolleyes:

Writer's block.

Missing a match you really want to watch because of a subject you don't need to study.

Waiting a long, long time for the chloroplasts of Hydrilla to undergo cyclosis...but they just wouldn't. It's eyestraining to look into a microscope with both eyes open for several minutes nonstop, y'know.

Husbands who think it's a great idea to "surprise" the family with a puppy.
Now the wife is cleaning up poopy from "that dog" and the 2 year old who thinks the floor is better than the diaper.



BTW, congratulations on your puppy, SaucepanMan, and how is Mrs. SpM doing? Or is she smarter than me and has you do it.

Holby...go to Petsmart (or your local pet supply retailer ;) ) and get some of the blue housetraining pads, if you haven't got them already. They have an enzyme that encourages the puppy to do his business there, and once he's got the hang of that, you just start placing the pads out of doors. Can make the training process easier. They also carry some enzymatic cleaners that are very good at getting odors and stains off your flooring...who knows, they might help with the child!

As for the two year old...

You're on your own there...have fun.

Just get rid - they are annoying creatures that smell and have unpleasant habits... :p