Deagol: By Eru! I've never seen anything like it!
Smeagol: It's a ring, idiot.
Deagol: But it's so shiny!
Smeagol: It's wet.
Deagol: And I have this sudden urge to be evil!
Smeagol: ....
Deagol: I bet it's valuable.
Smeagol: Er... it's my birthday.

Déagol and Sméagol stare in aware at the golden egg laid by Déagol's goose.

Déagol: "But it's so small!"

Deagol: "It's says here that I may be a winner."

Deagol held in his hand one of the hardest earned & most sought-after things in all of Middle-Earth: the inside filling of an Oreo, after having carefully scraped it off of the two halves of cookie, preserving it's beautiful shape in all its glory.

Voice Offscreen: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togevah, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wivvin a dweam. Do you haff the wing?

Smeagol tries to tell Deagol that the ring is not actually talking and that it is all in his head. However Deagol is not convinced as another string on insults is directed at him by the talking ring.

Deagol: "Wow! You found this in a box of
what kind of cereal?"

Smeagol: "Why are you getting so excited? I'll bet it came out of the Argos catalogue and turns your finger green!"

Smeagol attempts to make Deagol jealous by showing off his invisible dog.

Smeagol is entranced by just how soft Deagol's shirt is, even when wet.

Smeagol: "Why are you so excited? It's only an Icelandic Krona!"

"Deagol, did that pop-up banner really say "click here for 'Half-off at Harvey's Heavenly House of Halibut"! SWEET! We're goin' tonite!

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross squabble over their last pound coin.

"We need that to buy a new picture, Wossy!"

"No way Wuss! I've got ewectwicity biwws to pay!"

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/t...tttdvdexp2.jpg

Saruman: "Put t'big light on will you?"

Saruman: For the last time, Wormtonge! I'm not telling you where babies come from.

OR

Saruman: Wormtongue! You've left the fridge open AGAIN!

Saruman: best. sandwich. ever.

Grima: anyone seen my cat?

Saruman: ... uh oh spaghettios

Saruman: "Don't you dare bring that rubbish dalek model in here if you've stuck the sink plunger on the top again."

Saruman saying "Uh oh, Spaghetti-Os" is hilarious.:D

Saruman feels the pressure of preparing for a test.
Saruman: And then Barahir's father was... was....


(nothing witty for Grima though)

The misty look in the back ground isn't just an effect. Saruman just realized he left the iron on.

Grima: [walks into room]

Saruman: [hides dolls] Agck! Haven't I ever told you to knock!?

Grima: Sorry, sir!

Saruman: ... Did you see anything?!

Grima: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls, sir!

Saruman: Good!

Grima: Barahir's father was Finduilas.

Saruman: Are you sure?

Grima: Yes. *snicker*

Or...

Saruman: Ah, Worm, there you are. Have you finished my homework yet?

Or...

Grima: My lord, I have grave news. A startling amount of the intercepted pipeweed has gone missing!

Saruman: Shh, I can't talk now! The purple is about to begin!

Or...

Grima: My lord, I require enlightenment; perchance do you know the name of the father of Barahir, elf-friend of old?

Saruman: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Or...

Saruman: And now, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is available in widescreen! And-a heeere we go to the right, and-a heeeere we go to the...holy crap! Grima, where did you come from?

Grima: Oh, I'm pretty much always here.

Or...


Saruman: And here, a letter from Legolas...LEgolas...LeGOlas...hmm.

"Dear Saruman: My brothers are always saying that your cloak is made of tape, is this true?"

They say my cloak is made of tape? WHAT? I mean, what do I look like, some sort of tape-cloak to you? I mean, it's kind of iridescent like tape, here look...ohhhh, look here. It's a piece of tape on my cloak. That's must be what they were talking about. I must have rubbed up against my desk or something. My cloak is not made of tape. Pffft! Tape...well, that's all I have for you, Leggy. So until next week, send me some halflings. You know, halflings? Hey, The Grima! Let's go down to the Uruk pen and like, poke 'em with sticks or something.

The Grima: *The Grima noises*

Or...

Grima: My lord, the Grey Wizard seems to have escaped.

Saruman: Inconceivable!

Or...

Grima: My lord, I think I might be with child.

Saruman: Inconceivable!

Or...

Grima: My lord, the time is upon us for your Uruk army to emerge from their pods.

Saruman: Inconceivable!

Or...

Saruman: Heeey Grima, how's it goin'. Uhhh, yeahhhhh, I'm gonna have to ask you to go to Rohan full-time and watch over Theoden for me.

Grima: But...no, but...I believe I was explicit in my interview that...no, I...I, I...brigands rolling in the reek...

Saruman: Yeahhhhh, thanks Grima. Bye-bye now.

Grima: Um, ex-excuse me, I believe you have my stapler?

Grima: whats the matter?

Saruman: i just got bombarded with things to say from Oddwen

Saruman: Grima, where's your nephew?

Grima: Who? Oh, um, I devoured him.

Saruman: That's barbaric!

... Is there any left?


~ Ka

Saruman: "Grima my lad! Bring me my crayons of many colours! This white page needs colouring in!"

Grima was exited to work with a great sorcerer, but all Saruman did was soiling him self.

Grima: Master, you can come out of this dark closet now, Grima has found a coin to put in your electrickery meter.

Stupid MapQuest!
 

Saruman: Hey Grima, check it out. I'm hacking into the the MapQuest database and changing a few routes.

Grima: Wow, look at that new winding one - didn't that used to be the eagle route straight to the Sammath Naur?

Saruman: Yep, the new 'detour' will take months. And check out what I did to the Straight Road.

Grima: Wow, it's not even there!

Saruman: *snicker* I know...

1. Saruman: "Worm, do you ever feel like crying and you don't know why?"
or
2. Wormtongue: "Lord, have you at last discovered how Pop-Tarts work"?


I just noticed that's 300 posts. Took me long enough.

Secrets of Middle-earth Number 22

Saruman was forced to hole himself up in Orthanc because he was deeply ashamed of his hirsute appearance after Grima hid his nose-hair trimmer.

"Grima, why do you always try the hardest Su Dokus? You never finish them and you never let me do them!"

Grima: "But Master! I queued up all night to get the new Warcraft expansion, and I come home to find you're still hogging the computer playing Werewolf! It's not fair!"

Saurman: "Dear dark diary..."
Grima: "Saurman? Are you... blogging?"
Saurman: "What? No! Never!" *mutters* "nosey git... I'll see you later, LJ."

OR

Grima found him again in front of the computer. It had been a few weeks since he starting to worry that Saurman might have an internet addiction to one of those online games.

OR

Saurman: "That tramp Gandalf just out bid me again! Grr! I hate eBay! I hate Gandalf! Just you wait, I cut your connection and then what will you do? Hahahaha!"
Grima: "Er, what were you two bidding on?"
Saurman: "...a The Phantom bobble-head."
Grima: ". . ."
Saurman: "COLLECTORS EDITION."

OR

Grima walks Curunir through making a spreadsheet of his Orcs and Uruk-hai.

OR

(Ala Lalwende ;D)

Saurman: "Grima! Fetch me my energy drinks... it's time Wrath of the Lich King! Northrend, here I come!!" *girllish squeal*
Grima: "...don't you have more important things to be doing?"
Saurman: "I'm taking a sick day~~"

Not exactly a caption
 

But I look at Saruman and just think of Tim Henman's dad watching him play at Wimbledon. I just can't get beyond that.

Grima: Sire, did you find out where that leftover screw is supposed to go?

Saruman: NO! This is the last time I buy a Palantir stand from IKEA!

With his eyesight failing and spectacles not yet invented, Saruman practices his braille.

Saruman: Rima never ever cook for me again...*Vomit*

or

Grima:uh....stroke...um.... amazement.... um.... awe? I hate Charades?

or

Grima you are Saruman of many colors? so that means like Martin Luther King Jr. would be proud right?

or

Saruman: I'm just astounded who knew Tide was powerful enough to make his grey cloak white.

or

Saruman: Grima, i must confess I'm not "Many colored" I simply spilled some paint and couldn't get the stains out.

or

Grima: Sir if orthanc was built by noble people, why is it so scary looking?

or

Grima: we don't have to take over the world, we could just set up a hotel here I mean the place is huge and it really is just us two living here.

or

Saruman: I just finished...........Willliam Shatner's School........... Of Acting...... This......Is...... My sad face!

or

Saruman: Holy Son of a beast Dog it's Morsul the Dark where'd he some from?

Saruman: I suspect this is an out of date Argos catalogue as the pictures are all done in pencil. So I'm afraid, Grima, you might not be getting a Nintendo DS this Christmas after all. Will a whip and top do instead?

Grima: I suspect it was all that Gandalf's doing, sire. How about a look at him?



http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/...andalf_550.jpg



A glimpse inside Gandalf's wild imagination as he reaches yet another new level on Guitar Hero.

Gandalf whistles innocently as the toaster burns the house down...

OR

Gandalf hoped no one was watching as he pulled his GameBoy out of his beard. He had nearly beaten his High Score on Tetris and by thunder he wasn't going to let a Balrog stop him from getting there!

Somnambulistic Gandalf has that 'butter churning' dream again.

Returning from the Istari mission, Olórin is left to explain to Manwë and Varda how it took two thousand years and the defections of four wizards to bring down Sauron.

Gandalf: "He had this really clever alias of "the Necromancer," see, and Saruman was smoking a lot of weed, and we left the research stuff to him..."

Manwë: "Wasn't it a weed-smoking halfling that managed to do him in?"

For some unknown reason NASA chose to build a rocket, shaped just like Gandalf.