Fortunately, it was too high up for him to reach or climb to... and of course he couldn't fly as he had no wings.

Unfourtunately, more Balrogs came along and they stood on each others shoulers utnil the could reach the Ring.

Fortunately a stinky balrog came and all teh other balrogs fainted and made Stinky Balrog vey sad and he had to go live alone in the forest... poor umm... Johnny the Stinky Balrog, poor poor Johnny... no friends, no family, alone because of his stinkiness

Fourtunately for Johnny, he found a woman Balrog who was just as stinky and they got married and lived happily ever after.

Unfortunately the woman balrog was actually gandalf uncloaked...

Fourtunately, Johnny was blind.

Unfortunately, they were standing on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum and Gandalf broke it.

Fourtunately, Gandalf turned into a bird and said "I'm no fool! I shall fly!"

Unfortunately, the bird he turned into was an ostrich, and so he started falling.

Fourtunately, when Gandalf broke the bridge, the Ring fell with them.

Unfortunately Johnny the Stinky balrog got the ring, and everyone that tried to get it from him fainted

Fortunately Johnny the stinky Balrog died of a very sudden heart attack and never lived agan.

Unfortunately, the water had been drained out of Khazad-Dum, and Gandalf, who was falling into the chasm, landed on some particularly jagged rocks.

Johnny!!!!
 

way to go Kath, now i'm sad, i felt for Johnny...

Fortunately everyone turned on Kath and cahsed her out of the land because of their love for Johnny, and became the greatest allies ever and made a Johnny shrine...THE END

Unfortunately Gil soon realised that he could not end the story because the Ring was still out there.

Fortunately Gil did realize that he could bring Johnny back too life(did) and threaten to kick kath out of Gil-Galads Angel's

Unfortunately (for Gil-Galad), Meneltarmacil red-buttoned Gil-Galad into a black hole and caused Johnny the Balrog to explode.

Fortunately, the fate of the world did not depend wholly on what happened to Gil and Johnny.

Unfourtunately, the Ring got thrown into the Fires of Mount Doom by Frodo and when it did, the whole fate of the world did depend on what happened to Gil and Johnny.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . someone realised that the entire story about the Ring was just a horrible practical joke by a few unclad Ainur--Gandalf included, of course. ;)

Unfourtunately, the fate of the world still depeneded on Gil and Johnny.

Fortunately . . .
 

. . . there was no "world", and therefore, no "fate of the world". :p

Wait, I think this is unfortunate. *shrugs* Oh, well.

Fourtunately, Eru had a back up plan ( :p ) and he transfered everybody to another planet.

well whatever

Fortunately they were only commercials about the one ring, so them ain program continued... "The adventuers of Gil-Galad and Johnny the Stinky Balrog" i'm so wwriting about that...

Well, try this...
 

Unfortunately, Eru noticed this and switched the station back to an emergency-only world that he saved on his TiVo, with blander less complicated confections all wipped up whilst watching his favorite cooking show: "30 minute worlds for any impending doom or else..." and in part with the season premiere of Little Britian...


~ Aesthete

Fourtunately, Eru noticed the slight clash between the "fourtunately's" of Gil and Glirdy and the "unfourtunately" of Ka and he started a whole new world once again and this time he made sure there was no Ring of Power.

...As I was saying
 

Unfortunately, Eru was about to sit on his favourite sofa and finish watching 'All my annoying Varda Children' when suddenly some of the previous world which had refused the fate of the food compactor, spewed out the ring and into the new one whilst he just shrugged and continued to see if Aule could work out his constant neglect to Yavanna's garden that he was supposed to water whilst she was away...


~ Aesthete

Fortunately, the food compacters explosion caused enough force to launch the ring from Valinor to the Old Forest and right into Tom Bombadil's lap.

Unfortunately, as he did not care about it, he sold it to a passing Nazgûl.

Fourtunately, the Nazgul was actually Frodo dressed up like one so he could get launched into Mordor without being conspicuous.

Unfortunately, the catapult was too powerful and launched Frodo into outer space.

Fourtunately, he became a pinball, started bouncing off of the planets and landed in Mordor.

Unfortunately, he landed on a Mordor Catapult and was fired back to Rivendel.

Fourtunately, the Mordor catapults weren't as strong as the others and he got launched into the Anduin.

Unfortunately, whilst being launched into the Anduin it was such a powerful force Frodo hit his head off a rock at the bottom, passed out and drowned. The Ring was back at the bottom of the River once again.

Fourtunately, this time, the Ring got caught up in the current and got carried down the Anduin.

now, that's what I call devotion...
 

Unfortunately, Tom Bombadil found the ring again whilst on yet another errand for the very flaky Goldberry, and this time had a full background check on the Nazgul he gave it to, warning him to be careful with it next time leaving the Nazgul in a rather stupified pose...


~ Aesthete

Fortunately, this was a good thing.

Unfourtunately, the full back ground check was flawed and he still managed to give the Ring to one of Sauron's Nazgul.

Fortunately that was exactly what Tom Bombadil wanted to happen.