Quite differently...
 

Túrin and his men wait to ambush Harry Potter.
Túrin: "We'll see if that little boy will be able to face me, son of Húrin, bearer of the Dragon Helm of Dor-Lómin. Beleg, when he comes near, shoot him down from his broom-"
Beleg: "Well, he doesn't have the broom anymore-"
Túrin: "How do you know? - Traitor!!!"

OR

Túrin: "Morgoth! Do you hear me? I have a proposal! Let's make a pact against greater enemy: I bring down that boy and you can smash that thing with funny nostrils, Voldemort!"

After 4 hours of speech making, unknown to Turin, his men were beginning to snooze.

Turin: Behold! a new picture!

http://www.maniacworld.com/Lord-of-the-Rings-parody.jpg

Frodo: Sam, i don't think were in kansa's anymore

What! Only outhouses! The brochure "Your trip to Mordor" didn't indicate this. It gave the impression that this was a themed resort with world-class amenities.

I'm lost without Sam
 

'I wouldn't be so lonely and scared if Peter hadn't skipped this chapter when he pretended to read the book'.



'What's that big Gorilla doing here?'




.

Shelob was actually a thousand times scarier to begin with. Here we have Frodo seeing Shelob wearing Lipstick, eyeliner and high heels asking him if he is 'looking for a good time'.
Seconds later Frodo fled back to the Shire and never stopped screaming... Ever.

OR

Frodo witnesses the terror of rap singing Ents.

Frodo: GOSH

or

Frodo struts down the cat walk showing off the new spider web sash.

For all those Aussies who may read this and have seen that Qantas ad...

Frodo: I've been to cities that never close down...
Sam (joining in): From New York to Rome, to old London town,
Gollum: But no matter how far, or how wide I roam...
Random Orc: I still call - Mordor - home!
All: I still - call - Mor - dor home!!

(Yes yes, I know that was a bit vague :rolleyes:)

'Shelob, I know you desperately want a partner, but I'm - not - a - spider.'

Frodo just realizes that a bird dropping splatted on his head.

Frodo: Why me? Why me? Why does it always have to be me and not Aragorn?

Frodo desperately tries to find an answer for one of Legate's riddles after beeing challenged to a riddle-game.

Frodo seemed to freeze, as he saw the tall figure standing in the corner. The scar on his forehead burned with pain. "No!" he shrieked, but then came a flash of green light...

Frodo is now able to answer the questions that has plagued man, hobbit, elf, dwarf and orc alike. What do spider droppings look and feel like.

Trudging through Shelob's Lair, Frodo had a disturbing thought. "Are there any IRS agents here?"

ME johnny on the job...
 

Frodo did stuble upon an abomination in Cirith Ungol out of sheer necessity - one of those "portable restrooms" that are invariably messy beyond belief.

Nazgul narrator: And here we have a very rare, and very rarely seen "Holbytla", once thought to be hunted into extinction. What it is doing so far from its home has yet to be seen, perhaps it's some sort of migration. We've been following it for leagues and leagues....garn, Khamul! It saw you again! It'll go into a hole and we'll never find out what it's doing here!

On the wall Frodo spots a new pic!

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/l...asgandalf1.jpg

Legolas: You told me a harmless little bunny guarded the cave! You said nothing about a PO'ed bear with a laser beam on his head!
Gandalf: A mere over sight my lad.

Legolas points out to Gandalf that those pesky Hobbits have tied his beard to a rock again.

OR

Gandalf gives up on trying to point out to Legolas that those pesky hobbits have tied his hair to a rock again.

:p

Legolas can't believe it when Gandalf says he's going to have to cut his hair to get him loose!

Legolas: "Come on, really, come say hello. They aren't so scary once you get used to them."

Gandalf: "B..b...uuutt. I don't like fangirls."

Leggy: Here, let me help you down old man. *rips Gandy's arm off* AIIIIIIII!!

Legolas: Oh, look! Why is your beard moving so strange?
Gandalf: That's because the wind is blowing.

Gandalf: "Don't worry, Legolas. I wasn't traumatized by losing half my beard in a freak barber accident, I'm upset that Butterbur forgot my Valinorian name."

After Legolas asks for the four billionth time, "Are we there yet?" Gandalf is really tempted to pull the trap-door opening leaver.

Legolas looks for the switch that makes the Gandalf figure say 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS'

Legolas trys to help Gandalf over come his fear of dwaves...

Legolas:come on Gandalf its only Gimli
Gandalf hides behind the rock

Joker Legolas slyly sets Gandalf's hat on fire.

Gandalf is ready to face the army of Uruks, but Legolas can't look away from Gandalf's ear hair.

Legolas tries to help Gandalf through yet another uncloaking transformarion, but it is useless, the cloak has taken over his senses...

**************************

Gandalf: Oh great! The Crazy Caption Squad has found us again...

~ Ka

Gandalf: (muttering) ... warned them, but did they listen to me? Well it's always the same, I always tell them, oh it's just a harmless little bunny isn't it...

Legolas: G-Gandalf?

Gandalf: (awakes from stupor) Huh? What? Just a dream...

*OR WAS IT?*

Old habits die hard and as a former patrol leader of the First Mirkwood Boy Scouts, Legolas was always on the look out for a chance to do his good deed of the day:

Gandalf :"But I don't want to cross the road..."

As Gandalf begins to survey the battlefield, Legolas begins to pickpocket his wallet...

Leggy considers growing a beard.

Gandalf:did you get the license plate number of that oliphaunt?

Big Magic
 

Legolas: Have you been at that Ent-brew again, I'm sure you're taller than when we set out.

Sorry for the size, I wasn't able to resize it...
 

Legolas: Come, Gandalf, to see the new picture...

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i5...ladriela20.jpg

Galadriel and Boromir fight over the Holy Grail.

No one but the Dwarves really grasped the whole concept of a 'drinking game'.

OR

When 'Pass the Parcel' is just a little too easy...

Eowyn glared at Aragorn, furious that he did not consider her capable of drinking without smashing the cup on the ground.

Eowyn wished that Aragorn would keep his hair out of his eyes.

Galadriel: Don't look now, but it seems as if someone has spilled tea on our background.
Aragorn: Why are our heads so flat?