The Poster for a new reality show where the Nine Walkers are closed in a house together and Gollum acts as Big Brother

Gollum was understandably upset when the elves of Mirkwood weren't interested in playing "peek-a-boo"

Little Red Riding Hood: "My, what big eyes you have, Grandmother!"

Gollum: "All the better to see you with, my precious!"

After forty nine sleepless nights listening to that brass band practice next door, Smeagol decided to take the law into his own hands.

Gollum was not good with babies.

Gollum: Peeks-a-boo, precious!

Baby: WAAAaaaAAAaaa!

Middle Earth life was really no different from life today - you always have some incredibly smart person that gets bored or curious and decides to pull the lever marked Do Not Pull Except In Cases of Extreme Emergency!!!...

Don't know if anyone knows this, but...
 

Before they cast Brad Dourif, Cyan considered Gollum for the role of Saavedro in Myst:Exile.

Gollum: You wantsss the book? We giveses you the book, my love. Just please, please, don't leave usss trapped here like this! *gollum*

Gollum wondered why he had six fingers.

Gollum was having trouble getting contact lenses that were the right size.

Those Hidden Camera Shows...
 

Cheesy Voiceover: "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Gollum: "Curse you, tricksy."

Gollum to Frodo: see see-we's not so different both like ring both have big eyes both bite nails

Gollum's nose turns into a finger. :p

(I really couldn't come up with anything.)

Gollum tries to imitate Elrond.

Gollum managed to sneak into Rivendell and is watching Arwen take a shower.:p

Gollum: Look precious! A new pic! :eek:
http://pageperso.aol.fr/loverangels0...ragorn%202.bmp
Aragorn: Legolas! We're surrounded! These are the scariest hobbits I've ever seen!
Legolas: Don't worry! They just want our crackers! Quick, throw them one! You do still have them... don't you?
Aragorn: (with mouth full) Umm..

Legolas: Attention hobbits, do not attack us! Even as you surround us, there is a host at your backs awaiting our whistle! (Aragorn, whistle now!)

Aragorn: *wheefffpppllll* *pptttt* *ptttui!*

Aragorn: I thought the objective was to shoot the apple off Gimli's head?
Legolas: So it didn't work out exactly as my Dad read to me...I'm sure he'll be ok...Gimli?

Aragorn: I know you never got on well with Merry, but did you have to fill him with helium?

OR

After Legolas finished a really dramatic speech before the battle, it was Aragorn who had to point out that he wasn't wearing any trousers.

Aragorn: Look out, the slash fanfic writers are here again.

Legolas: :eek:

Aragorn: Legolas, of course we can take on this whole host of Orcs ourselves. You lead us into battle.
Legolas: Alright, I'm going in and you better be right behind me, Aragorn.
Aragorn: *sneaks off*

Kind of like Kitanna
 

Aragorn: There should be no problem for our troops to defeat that massive orc army that is pouring out Moranon and what difference does 2 people make?

Legolas: OK lets get out of here, I don't feel like fighting and got the munchies anyway.

Legolas: What do you think, Aragorn?

Aragorn: I think that Gandalf uncloaked breakdancing with orcs in an ad for Mapquest is just too much.

:eek: :eek:

Aragorn: Whoa dude, check out that blonde chick over there!
Legolas: Nah, I think I'm more into that redhead over there.
Gimli: (from behind): What? They don't even have beards!

Aragorn: Shh, Legolas, don't move but the tree behind you seems to observe us. What do you think we should do?
Legolas: Shoot him!

OR

Legolas: My elvish eyes can see a host of Orc warriors coming across the plain. They are far yet, but they are many. I can recognize the foul banners of the Lidless Eye. There are four high Orc-warriors among them, bigger and fiercer than the others. They bear signs of the White Hand. Moving fast. Two leagues far, not more.
Aragorn: Eh... and what about those twenty yards to the right?

Aragorn: Stop, ye Orken Horde! Hearken to my Deadly Dummy!
Aragorn(in a high voice, moving his dummy's lips): Ruh a'ay 'r i'gl k'll oooo!!

Or...

Aragorn: Look what I have carved!
Gimli: Is it real?
Legolas: I'm a real boy!

Or...

Aragorn: Legolas... se freachen du khobben de la?
Legolas: Seeg snu le habben labben "desanneaux.com"!

Aragorn to Legolas: "Can you move your feet at all?

Legolas in reply: "No, not a bit."

Aragorn: "Darn. I never knew oliphant excrement would harden so fast."

Aragorn to hypnotized Legolas: listen to my voice..... listen to my voice...... that orc over there has your shampoo...... go and get it.....

hypnotized Legolas: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Legolas: When was the last time you had a bath? I'm going to be sick!

Legolas: Ummm let's see, I just never know what to get here.

Aragorn: Well I'm ready. I'll have a number eight super-sized and hold the lettuce please.

Aragorn: Party at Theoden's place. Pass it on.

Aragorn: Don't look now, but Gandalf is behind you and you know what that means?

Legolas: Evil magic.

Aragorn: Erm... yeah... Let's go with that...

Legolas: Nay! I am determined to accomplish it, do what you will.
Aragorn: Is there nothing I can do to stop thee doing this horrible thing?
Legolas: Nay, fair Elf-friend, there is not, but at least I shall plead for thy friendship.
Aragorn: Thy fair and beautiful Elven voice is enough to bring me to tears. Say no more, I beg thee!
Legolas: I now beg thee to do this boon for thy eternal friend.
Aragorn: But.....
Legolas: There's nary a but about it. Thee must help me, sire.
Aragorn: I cannot do it for thee. Thou mayest shoot me in mine throat, but I cannot do this thing.
Legolas: PLEASE! I MUST WASH MY HAIR!!!
Aragorn: SHUDDUP!!!!!!!!

Aragorn: Pssst! Legolas! Your zipper is down!

Page 254 of the 1482 Breeman's Catalogue.

A. 'Oily look' overcoat, available in mud brown, sepia and coffee, sizes S-XXL. £69.99 or in 48 weekly installments of £1.75.

B. Sweaty tunic, available in beige, sand and khaki, sizes S-XXL. £39.99 or in 48 weekly installments of 95p.

Vambraces and belt available separately on page 292. Cheesy poses optional.

http://members.fortunecity.com/gabri...heking/97.jpeg

Theoden's 'death' speech before the battle didn't work out exactly in the way he hoped it would.

If you can't see the picture, here it is...

http://i19.tinypic.com/2pt838i.jpg

Theoden: AAAGHH! I-... I've forgotten what to say...

OR

Eomer: We've run out of orange juice!

Theoden: Quick! To the supermarket!

Edoras Playbill: Seen here practicing their duet version of The Impossible Dream, King Theoden and his famous singing horse Snowmane will appear at the Eorling Mead Hall Little Theatre production of Man of La Mancha, tonight at 8pm.

Oss: "And you can shut your whining, how do you think I feel having to carry a seventeen stone man wearing three stone of metalwork?"

Theoden celebrates getting hold of a giant lollipop.

Familiar...
 

Theoden: HAAAAAAM!

Or...

Theoden: Hey, I can see my house from here!