Saruman, aka Christopher (Hon-A) Lee.

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What part does Ghan-buri-ghan play in the War of the Ring?

He was the professional designer that created Sauron's standard, and decided that his logo would be the Eye.

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Where was Elrond born, and what were the circumstances of his childhood?

Elrond was born under a little yellow pansy flower, and all the chickadees sang for him-- I mean the chickweed fairies. Ooopsie! And don't forget that three fields over, Celebrian was brewing coffee and saying "This is going to be one heck of a marriage, I can see it now. Mom, can't you fix me up with some other flower-child???" He was so annoyed with his sissy title of Flower-Child that he trained his kids to wave swords around at every opportunity, (which PJ knew better than The Professor did.) Elrond grew up manufacturing and embroidering pocket-hankerchiefs and it was the wealth from that trade that made him able to buy Rivendell. He loaned Bilbo the very last of his stock.
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Why did Galadriel insist that Celebrian marry Elrond anyway?

because she thought celebrian was a big dodo and wantedf to get rid of her fast.

Why did Arwen marry Aragorn?

She was simply, but sadly, suicidal, and saw this as the best excuse to die.

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What caused Arwen to be so suicidal?

she had a thing for halidir and legolas but nethier liked her

how does legolas like?

She was overcome with remorse at having done away with, and replaced, Glorfindel.

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Why was Bilbo so reluctant to set out with Gandalf and the Dwarves?

Because they all smoked, and Bilbo couldn't stand the smell of the stuff, nor the odor it left on his clothes.
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Why did Gandalf select Burglar as an occupation needing to be filled for the quest of Erebor?

He was a cleptomaniac, and it was always his dream to have a name like that. (thus all the excessive possesions in Bag End)

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Why did Sam insist on accompanying Frodo everywhere?

[ February 07, 2003: Message edited by: Iarwain ]

Because Frodo only had one leg and constantly needed support.

Describe Frodo in 3 words.

yellow, pink, purple

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How many Dwarves live in Tuckborough?

Thirteen and a half.

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What was Arwen's home made pie made of?

Aylwen

Anything bit chicken. She don't want to make a chicken pie, she don't like gravy.
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What attracted Goldberry to Bombadill?

His chicken soup

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What is a Barrow-wight's favourite food?

A pony sandwich with a side of Hobbit fries.

Why are Barrow-wights so bad-tempered?

Because they have bad teeth and have to go the dentist every week.

Why aren´t Gandalf and Galadriel dating?

Well, they were, but Galadriel got a little annoyed by small Hobbit people running around all the time. Why do you think she freaked out that much anyway when Frodo came to her in Lorien?
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What did Frodo and Sam use to tie around Gollum's neck?

A tie. You know, a bow-tie. It made him look like a scary demon of Avril Lavinge, so they made him dance around smashing guitars and eating bugs.
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Who didi Huan belong?

Huan was Sauron's little puppy dog. Unfortunately, Huan rebelled and almost killed Sauron in the first age...

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Who was Morgoth's little puppy dog?

Bill the pony... I mean, dog.

Oops fogot tha question... here goes:

Why is Pippin so dumb?

He is not! It's everyone else around him who is stupid, and so they, being unable to even comprehend his genius, labeled him stupid. Intelligence is in the eye of the beholder, you know, and those beholders weren't the brightest fireflies in the jar!

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Did Sam really like Bill the Pony, or was he just pretending?

Actually Sam did like Bill the pony but it was the pony who was pretending. bill was only in it for grass outside the Shire.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If hobbits were peaceful people then why did they become so mischievious?

Too many pixie sticks
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Who is the TRUE heir to the throne of Gondor?

Barney. Duh.
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Who was the first one to kill a balrog?

a couple of orcs duh!


what did they use to kill the balrog? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

They sung a song about torturing 13 dwarves and a hobbit.(or would that wake the dead?)

What song did the Balrog sing?

"Oh How I Hate to Get Killed in the Morning."

Really, we should all tip our hats to him, for singing while dying is nothing to sniff at!

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Sorry to use a bit 'o the movie here, but I simply must know, when Saruman asked, "Whom do you serve?" what did Lurtz say?

[ February 10, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

'One Billion people. Would you like fries with that?'
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Why did Saruman name it 'Lurtz'?

He thought it was a cute name. It was this decision that really showed Gandalf that Saruman had gone a bit mad.

Orcs are mockeries of............?

Merry and Pippin- always doing the wrong thing, not too good at fighting.
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Who killed Boromir, were the uruks working alone or did someone pay them....?

It was Merry and Pippin. His prowess in battle was making them look bad, so he had to go. Do you think it's coincedence that only after Boromir's death do they become "Meriadoc the Magnificent" and "Ernil i Pheriannath"? Oh what dark secrets even little hobbits have... I wonder if this would be a good occasion for blackmail...

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Who almost became the 10th member of the Fellowship, but missed it by thaaat much?

Elmo....his red fur was a little too bright though...
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What is Sauron's favorite type of breakfast cereal?

Mithril-frosted Elf-Flakes, which he makes himself. They taste awful but he enjoys the manufacturing process. He guarantees one whole Elf per packet.

Well, why do you think he needed all that Mithril? For eyedrops?

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Who was the first to fall asleep by Old Man Willow?

One-ring o's. 99.9% daily value of whatever vitamins and minerals a big flaming eye needs.
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What was lembas made from?

Boiled orc hide!
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What did Sam REALLY think of Mister Frodo?
hehehe

To answer Squatter's question, it was Frodo's foot that fell asleep first. It became all numb, then tingly and prickly, and so he kicked Old Man Willow to wake it up.

As a result, Sam ever after thought that Mr. Frodo was a complete and total idiot, who would be Orc fodder or worse if he was left alone. Either that or start drooling on himself, whatever came first.

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What was Merry up to when he went outside, at night, in Bree?

he was hammered, and Bill Ferny had told him that there were pixies living under Bree hill, so he decided to pop out and visit.


What actually does live under Bree Hill? (not hobbits, please)

A lovely family of orcs. What, you thought they were all bad? Thats negative media stereotyping again!
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If Gandalf was Gandalf in the Shire, Olorin in Valinor, etc- what would his name be in...Eygpt?

Jiminy Cricket
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Who was Gollum's daddy?