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Hah, Sharkey!
Alatar to Pallando: "Gee, maybe we should tell someone where we're going." Durin's Bane in his first post on the Barrow-Downs: "Good thinking, obloquy, your Balrog theories are right on the money." |
More minor characters:
Herb Master of Gondor: "Kingsfoil? Yeah, we got that." "Mr. Brandybuck? We just spoke with your HMO..." "He's dead, Jim." Bergil: "Soon as I'm 18, I'm out of here." Forlong the Fat: "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy!" [ March 09, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ] |
Smaug: Come in little dude take all you want I don't care.
any orc: PU I need a bath. Sauron: Come in have some tea. The ring oh I don't care besides I'm the cookie lord now not the dark lord. |
Whooaa Mithril Panties! Gimli to Arwen
Saruman: I am no longer Saruman the White, I am Saruman the Multicolored, and everything fluffy and special! Frodo puts on the Ring Lurtz: Peek a Boo, I see you "I am no longer Saruman the White, I am now Saruman of Many... Gee I pee fruity colors!" - Saruman to Gandalf Where am I?" - Frodo to Gandalf while unconscious "It is October 24... and you are stuck in traffic in Los Angeles. The current temperature is 72 degrees..." - Gandalf to Frodo Gandalf: I'm lost for words. "The best crack from the Southfarthing" - Gandalf before party "Here lies George W., son of George, Lord of Taxcuts" - Gandalf at Balin's tomb I dare not do more (I got these from minastirith.com)heehee |
LOL! Mithril Panties! That was Great, Justahi!
Where can I get a pair? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] |
Raefindel, I don't know about *mithril* panties, but I knew a girl in college who made a part-time career out of making chain-mail (or chain-maille, if you're more hardcore about it than I am). She got lots of requests for chain-mail bikini outfits and made quite a few, and, well, the bottom half is basically the same thing. So if you don't mind the feeling of cold steel in the morning you could always put in an order [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] .
Legolas: Oh look, another grey hair. Sam: Rosie, I don't know...we were apart that whole year, and I know we were really in love before, but you know, experiences change hobbits. My character changed, I'm not the Sam you knew. I can't continue this relationship until I find out who Sam is now. The White Council: TOGA PARTY!!! |
HAHAHAHA!!! TOGA PARTY!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
(I dunno why that was so funny, but it was.) |
Gandalf, to the Balrog on the bridge: Answer me these questions three, then the other side you may see. What is your favorite color?
Sam, to Frodo: Hey! If your not going to reciprocate my affection, I know a certain young Took that will! Bilbo: Dude, this is some really good pipe weed. I am wasted! Gandalf: Never use the ring Frodo, it doesn't match your tunic and come on, gold? Heelllloooo 1985! Can Mr. T come out and play? |
What is your name?
LOL! |
Aragorn: Oathbreakers, why have ye come?
Random oathbreaker: We were wondering: could we have a cup of sugar? We've run out. Varda: It's three in the morning. Will you please just leave me alone?! Radagast: Actually I've been fomenting rebellion in the dominions of Mordor for the last five-hundred years. I keep in touch by carrier pigeon. The Book of Mazarbul: ...but still Durin Estate Enterprises refused to repair the roof or install central heating. So it was that Balin gathered us together and in a mighty voice quoth: "Sod this for a lark. Number fifteen's up for rent and they're throwing in a telly." You may reach us in the house with the brown door, three doors down. Now we wait for the removal men. They are coming... Theoden: Which part of "Don't let that thieving wizard anywhere near my hall again" did you not understand, Grima? Get rid of them. Legolas: I know what you're thinking: did I fire six arrows or only five? |
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Denethor: *with a big, cheesy grin* Who wants toasted marshmallows?!
Gandalf: They call me...Mithrandir. Erm, no wait. Uh, they call me....Olorin! No, no, that's not it either. Fuzzball? No. Zifnab? Most certainly not!...Hmmmm...Aha! They call me...Tim. Sam: (from RotK cartoon in the "Where There's A Whip, There's A Way" number) Woo hoo! Groovin' to the beat! C'mon, dance Mr. Frodo! Sam: *watches Frodo put the Ring on at the Cracks of Doom; shrugs* Eh. *walks away* |
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Superb!
Boromir (at Council of Elrond): What, Legolas? Rightful heir to the throne of Gondor. Oh, I do apologise! Sorry Aragorn, you have the floor. (Sheepishly sneaks back to seat) Sauron to Frodo in Prancing Pony: Hey Frodo, jus' thought I'd call to say 'Keep the ring', I don't really need it. Oh, and have you seen Gandalf recently. I have to have him over to dinner... the new spawning chamber! Oh! It's to die for. Anyway, I digress. Bye sweety! Balrog to Gandalf: Oh. Ok the. (Turns to Orcs) He says we're not allowed! (Shouts from orcs to not back down) (Balrog whispering to orcs) You tell him, he's scary! Gandalf: I could look years younger if I just shaved this beard. Boromir: Hey, Lubburz... old buddy, old pal! What do you want with me? I'm just a human. It's these halflings you want (Pushes Merry and Pip forward whilst backing off) They've got the ring. Bye! Frodo looks out over Mordor and then looks back and starts humming 'Stairway To Heaven': There's a feeling I get/ As I look to the West. Theoden at Pelennor fields: Oh, there's a few more than I expected. Anyway, Denethor doesn't know we're here, they won't miss us. Come on chaps, off home for us! Aragorn: I didn't want to be King of Gondor... I wanted to be... A Lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The oak. The fern. The flatulent elm of North Rhysdale! Oh... I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok... Ringwraith: Shire. Baggins. Hobbit: I. Don't. Know. Ringwraith: Damn. Well, I hope I'm not the one who has to tell Sauron. Cheerio. Oh, and if you find out about this Baggins chap give me a shout! That's the best I can do. Hope you enjoy as much as I did yours! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] |
Frodo in Nike ad: I got all the way to Mordor with these shoes.
Legolas:We're here at spring break 3,000 in a little bit gandalf will come out and do some rap for us but now we've gotta go to commercial break. Sam:Screw you guys I'm going home. |
I'm gonna give this a try but I'm not gonna think of anything good.
Boromir-Mordor? Great idea. There isn't anything to worry about if we go there. |
Sauron - (Playing in car radio) "Spring time, lolly pops and rainbows"
Legolas - (takes a wiz behind a bush in Lothlorien) Frodo - (falls off the edge of a flet and breaks his leg) Ok, maybe these aren't very funny [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] |
You Made me laugh Olo! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Welcome to the Downs. Enjoy your stay.
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FYI re: Lush's Eomer non-quote. Eomer actually did get a babe. He married Imrahil's daughter.
-réd |
Samwise Gamgee: you had me rolling in the aisles!
I really think you got into the spirit of the thing. "You tell him...he's scary!" Heeeeeeeee! |
Quite right.
I was just thinking about that Sam Gamgee/Eric Cartman link and came up with: Merry: Oh my god! They killed Boromir! Pippin: You bastards! Fangorn: We're off to see the wizard... (sorry; I hate that song too much to continue) Ringwraith caught in river bore: I'll be back |
Quote:
Eomer: *fending off potential brides with a stick* "Form a straight line now, ladies! No pushing! Staple your picture to the form in the upper left-hand corner! Non-babes need not apply!" |
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Eomer: "Come on down to my boat, baby!" (Did I just age myself with that quote?) |
Treebeard: twenty-five thirty thirty-five goin' once, goin twice sold to the hobbit in the green vest.
Boromir: She's the dancing queen. Legolas: Hit me baby one more time. Gandalf: Livin' la vida loca. |
Morgoth: "That Sauron! Tried to teach him everything I knew, and what did he do with it? I mean, what was he doing for all those millenia? Pulling the legs off elves? Waxing the steps at the Old Dwarfs Home?"
Farmer Maggot: "Baggins trash! I warned ya! Grip, Fang, Wolf -- tear his lungs out!" Fredegar Bolger: "Hah! I fear nothing! Have at thee, foul denizens of evil!" Elrond: "We've been watching you for some time, Mr. 'Baggins'. It seems you've been living *two* lives. The first life you live at Bag End behind a round green door, where you project a respectable image, eat six meals a day and ... you help old Gamgee with his potatoes. The other life you live in adventures, where you go by the questing alias 'Underhill'. One of these lives has a future...and one of them does not." |
He He He! These are soo funy! Here are a few more.
Legolas: I hate trees. Any Dwarf: I hate caves, they are so dark and gloomy. Golum: I love the Sun Orcs: lets share Anybody: Tinuviel is ugly A ringwraith: I hate black Sam: I love that Gollum Elrond: (to Aragorn) thanks for getting Arwen off my hands Aragorn: Aww, this sword is rusty (picks up stick, pokes orc, poke, poke) Legolas: I need glasses Gimli, I don't like all this violence and orc-killing, I think I'll go hug a tree Dunedane: Hobbits are so apreciative of all we do! An Ent Contortionest Sorry if these have been said before. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] |
Today on "Jerry Springer":
Elven Maidens & The Mortal Men They Love JS: Arwen, what attracted you to Aragorn in the first place? Arwen: Well, Jerry. Elven men just don't have it goin' on! Aragorn is all man, and all king. I just adore a REAL man! JS: And you, Luthien! What made you want Beren? Luthien: It's those mortals' butts! Arwen: Amen, sister! |
Kalimac
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(Ok, so there wasn't a real reason for this, but I couldn't resist [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]) |
Gorin - um, all I was saying is that I'm not hardcore enough about it to spell it that way (unlike certain people I used to know). Back at you! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] .
And if we're getting into movies: Sam (rummaging through the garbage at Bag End after Lotho's murder): Look at this book. "I am Jack's stomach. I help Jack digest food. I am Jack's brain, I help Jack think." Frodo: "I am Jack's tenth finger. I put on the Ring. I destroy Jack's soul." Sam (aside): I am Jack's broken heart. |
Bilbo (to Frodo): "You got maille!"
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Bilbo: I am finished my book.
Tom Bombadil: I'm so depressed! Legolas: I am afraid! Sorry, these arn't very funny |
Thenamir, those were great! LOL!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
Sam: *to Gollum* Gimme hug! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Gollum: Must work on tan, yes precious... |
Legolas: How do you get a one armed blond elf out of a tree?
Aragorn: How? Legolas: Wave! *laughs* Aragorn: I don't get it. |
Gandalf to Sauruman: "You know, Saurry, ol' pal, I've been thinking--this whole wizarding thing has been really taxing--I don't think it's the thing for me. What say you and I quit this magic nonsense and go into the fireworks buisness together? "
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Gandalf: If I go crazy then will still call me super-man, If I'm alive and well will you be there holdin', I'll keep you bye my side with my super human might, kryptonite.
Frodo: You're a pretty good singer Gandalf but who the heck is super-man? |
Sauron: "Deafeted? By whom? Two midgets, and a weepy, unbathed Dunedain? IN-CON-CEIVABLE!"
Eowyn: "Hallo. My name is Eowyn of Rohan. You ke-e-led my uncle. Prepare to die." |
LOL that was really funny Lush The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies.
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Gandalf: "B.O.U.S's? Balrogs of unusual size? Oh, I don't think they exist." *thud* *scream*
Yeah, but it's only funny if you've seen the movie. Until I finally sat down and watched it, I went for a about three years with all of my friends quoting it, having a jolly good time, while I stood in the background and shrugged. |
Quote:
("Stop saying that!") |
The Gaffer to Sam:
"Good job, son. Glad you're home. " Quote:
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Witch-king: Frodo I am your father.
Aragorn: Mwaaaa raaaa aaaa rrrrrr! Gandalf: Teach you I will Frodo. About the ring you must learn. |
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